Guardians of the Galaxy

Get out your Infinity Stones and cassette tapes, we're reviewing Guardians of the Galaxy!

Peter Quill(Chris Prat), a thief, Gamora(Zoe Saldana), an assassin, Drax(Dave Bautista) a warrior, Rocket(Bradlet Cooper), a bounty hunter, and Groot(Vin Diesel), his thug companion, all want to make a big score. But when they find out that what they have is a weapon wanted by Ronan the Accuser(Lee Pace), they have to band together to help save the galaxy.

Edge of Tomorrow

Get out your exo-suits and alien blood, we're reviewing Edge of Tomorrow!

Officer Cage (Tom Cruise) tries to escape filming the war effort on the front lines, but ends up getting railroaded into fighting on the front lines instead. After killing one of the creatures, he finds out that he's living the same day over and over each time he dies. With the help of war hero Rita (Emily Blunt) who's been through this before, can he find a way to win the war and break the chain?

Under The Skin

Get out your limitless black room with engulfing watery floor, we're reviewing Under The Skin!

Scarlet Johansson plays an alien(?) looking and acting like a pretty girl in order to lure men back to her home(??) for sinister purposes(?!).

Sketched Game: Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus

Get out your wrenches and inter-dimensional devices, we're reviewing Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus!

Galactic heroes Ratchet and Clank are escorting a dangerous prisoner, Vendra Prog, to space prison, when her gigantic ape of a twin brother, Neftin, comes to bust her out. When she threatens to open a portal to another dimension called "The Netherverse", it's up to Ratchet and Clank once again to save the universe from destruction!

Riddick

Get out your protective goggles and bone-blades, we're reviewing Riddick!

When Riddick (Vin Diesel) goes looking for his home planet and gets marooned on another, completely different planet, he must find a way to survive and get off the hostile world. And then two groups of bounty hunters show up and everyone pretends they're back in Pitch Black. Some spoilers below.

The World's End

Get out your pints and detachable limbs, we're reviewing The World's End!

Gary King (Simon Pegg) is feeling nostalgic for his happier and fun-filled past when he and his mates tried to complete the golden mile, so Gary gets his old gang back together, including Andy (Nick Frost) and Steven (Paddy Considine). But when they return to their home town, they find that not everything is quite the same as they remember.

After Earth

Get out your change-o-sticks and liquid-air capsules, we're watching After Earth!

"Everything on Earth has evolved to kill you.
To combat that, your suit has evolved to do jack shit."

It's the far-flung future, 1000 years after humanity has left Earth. Cypher Raige (Will Smith) and his son, Kitai (Jaden Smith), crash-land on Earth, and when Cypher is injured, it's up to Kitai to go out and retrieve a homing beacon from the tail end of the ship. Is he fearless enough to do the job?

Star Trek into Darkness

Get out your phasers and tribbles, we're reviewing Star Trek Into Darkness!

What's weirder, Chris Pine's eyebrows or Chris Pines lips?

When a madman named John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch) starts blowing up Starfleet buildings, Captain Kirk (Chris Pine), "a loose cannon" who "breaks all the rules," is the only man in the Starfleet qualified to go after him. But he and his crew soon discover all is not what it seems.

Evangelion 1.11 You are (Not) Alone

Get out your giant sentient robots, we're reviewing Evangelion 1.11 You Are (Not) Alone!

I have discovered that Evas are my favorite giant robot to draw and IT IS AMAZING.

The world is threatened by giant monsters called Angels, and the only ones who can stop them are the operatives at NERV with giant robots called EVAs, piloted by a meek boy named Shinji.  Will he fight or run away?

Sketched TV: Defiance

Get out your good make-up and bad cgi, we're reviewing Defiance!

I want her to have more to do. Make her the main character instead of Nolan!

In the near future, Earth has been taken over and changed by the Votan, a collection of different races of aliens from another star system. Nolan(Grant Bowler) and Irisa(Stephanie Leonidas) are two scavengers looking for fortune, when they're troubles take them to the small town of Defiance.

Guest Review: Dark Skies

Get out your alien body snatchers, we're reviewing Dark Skies!

The intended focus here? The alien stalking her. All I focused on? Her mole.

And it's another special guest review from Noelle Loughran! Because I did not care to see Dark Skies. Sounds like I was right to avoid it! Spoilers ahead.

Men in Black III

Get out your neuralizers and... get out your neuralizers and... get out your neuralizers and...we're reviewing Men in Black III!

"Just the aliens, ma'am."

It's hard not to see this as anything but a quick cashgrab sequel.  Hardly any of the actors(or even characters) from the previous two movies return, and it doesn't have that same MIB feel.  Still, it does have a bit of fun.

Battleship

Get out your pegs and plastic ships, we're playing reviewing Battleship!

They are playing the deadliest game.

Battleship is the most Michael Bayiest movie yet, and I am shocked-SHOCKED I SAY-that he had nothing to do with it. If you saw Transformers and thought that would be a perfect movie if not for all the weird robot storylines, then this is the movie for you.

John Carter

Get out your scantily clad women and green aliens, we're reviewing John Carter!

Carter! Get your ass to Mars! Did someone use that joke already?

I so wish this was still called "John Carter of Mars." It would have made so much more sense to the context of the movie. As it stands, it's pretty good. It feels a lot like Pirates of the Caribbean, or a Star Wars film. Think of it this way, it's better than the prequels, but not as good as the originals.

Sketched Game: Mass Effect 3 Multiplayer

The Mass Effect 3 Demo is out, and with it comes the brand spanking new multiplayer.  I still haven't finished Mass Effect 2, so I'm not even THINKING of touching the Story mode, but over the last week I got the chance to try out the multiplayer spoiler free!  Considering the last two games were single player only, I, like many a gamer, was apprehensive at first. But I can safely assure you, the gaming masses, that it is an utter joy and a welcomed addition.

NOTE: I played the XBOX 360 version.

Attack the Block

Put on your masks and take out the fireworks, we're reviewing Attack the Block!

I'm semi-interested in doing a minimalist poster for this.

Believe all the hype. Attack the Block takes an original idea and provides a fun and fulfilling narrative.  It's this year's Scott Pilgrim, in that barely anyone will see it but everyone will be talking about it.  If Cowboys and Aliens left you high and dry in the originality department, this will be your sparkling oasis.

Cowboys and Aliens

Get out your cattle prods and anal probes, we're reviewing Cowboys and Aliens!

Didn't quite capture Daniel Craig's likeness but I'll make a better sketch when they make a better movie. BAM!

I really wanted to like this movie. Even after everyone said it was meh, I still wanted to see it.  Some movies don't have the right audience or aren't exactly what people thought they were getting, and I was really hoping it was that, but it wasn't. Everyone was right. It's meh.

Sketched List: 7 things filmmakers should be copying from District 9

My apologies to the Prawn nation for any inaccuracies, I freehanded the crap out of this.

Last year, this year, and I'm sure years after, filmmakers are and will be trying to "make the next District 9". That is, make the next big breakout sci-fi alien flick. Monsters, Skyline, and recently Battle: Los Angeles all tried to do this with mixed results at best. What were they doing wrong and what are the aspects of the stupendous District 9 should they be copying? Here are 7 things the movie did right that filmmakers don't get.

7) It wasn't an invasion story

Most every alien story dating back to the 1950's has the same story: They come, they invade, we kick their asses back. This is not the story of District 9. The aliens landed sure, but not to invade and conquer; in fact they don't even say why they came to Earth in the first place. But the real story is about Wikus uncovering the mistreatment of the Prawn species and desperately trying not to turn into one of them and getting one of the smarter Prawns back home. This is a much more interesting and less egotistical story(They're a ridiculously advanced species and they always need to invade for our resources? Really?) In fact, a few of the better alien stories had this 'alien trying to get back home' story arc (See E.T and Paul).

6) It wasn't set in America

Not that I'm anti-America, and of course it makes sense for filmmakers to set it in America to pander to American film audience, but really, why do Aliens always feel the need to invade New York or L.A.? Is the Pizza really that good?(answer: yes) In fact Cracked did an article explaining why, even if there was a good reason to invade the U.S., it would be a poor war strategy to directly invade. In District 9, the aliens touched dirt in some hobunk town in Africa, a completely random spot. If you are going to pick the U.S. of A., at least pick some random town for no particular reason.

5) The main character wasn't a stereotype

Yes, he was a white male who worked in an office. But he wasn't a meathead, or a mysterious loner, or a nerdy kid trying to impress a girl for an entire movie. He was just a regular guy with normal needs and wants. He wasn't ridiculously altruistically good. He didn't come out at the very beginning of the movie citing how he's completely against the mistreatment of Prawns, he was just as racist(Specisist? Alienist?) as everyone else. He was damn near unlikable at times. This made him realistic, interesting, and gave room for a believable story arc in which he eventually turned into a hero.

4) Interesting Aliens

These aren't just humans with cat faces, or your generic run of the mill little gray invaders. These are dirty looking weird shrimp insect creatures that don't even have proper mouths! Oh and they're one of the only alien races to wear clothing for once. And you have to give them props for building robots in their spitting image instead of big lumbering boring mechs.

3) It was a movie that delivered

It had great cgi alien creatures, insane drug lords, spaceships, giant robots shooting missiles and tossing cars, and for those who've played half-life 2, the godamn Gravity Gun. Unlike some other movies where there's just a flash here and there of action and then it's back to the talking and brooding, or a dramatic build up of the alien throughout the movie; they show you the aliens outright, show some toys you'd want to see played with and then they played with them.

2) It had Meat

And no, I'm not talking about catfood. District 9 had a story, it had depth, it had a meaning. It had multiple levels of understanding; how the prawns were treated and what that was a metaphor for, how accepted racism can be, and the degradation of a society. It had a deep story with varied and interesting characters. It wasn't just a rehash of Dances with Pocahontas in Furngully.

1) It was hard to watch

This is tough for film makers to do, but District 9 did it. A distressing movie is hard to watch but it compels us to watch it more. It puts characters we feel for through the meat grinder and blames us for putting them there. The main character is dying and there is no way to save him. Innocent aliens are being oppressed. A child is separated from his father. This wasn't a "fuck yeah blow shit up" feel good movie, this is a movie that made you think and made you hurt, and I defy alien filmmakers to do it again.

Paul

Prepare your anal probe and get all your geek references ready to go on a trip with Paul!

This time I tried coloring IN the lines.

Paul is very fun, and very funny. It's cute, but with a lot of swearing.

The movie starts out with Graeme(Simon Pegg) and Clive(Nick Frost) visiting from England to go to the San Diego ComicCon. They have a ton of fun, then decide to roadtrip across America to see all the Alien and UFO spots. It's not long before they have a close encounter(sorry) with Paul(voiced by Seth Rogen), a grey alien trying to get home, and decide to help him on his journey. They get into antics, and meet a staunch Christian girl(Kristen Wiig), while running from a federal agent(Jason Bateman) trying to bring Paul back in.

If you haven't already noticed, the cast completely targeted to the 20's-30's geek/nerd demographic. They finally have Simon Pegg and Nick Frost together again, Jason Bateman and Jefferey Tambor from Arrested Development, Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader from SNL, Seth Rogen from every other movie, and even Sci-fi heavyweights like Steven Spielberg and Sigourney Weaver.

And if that doesn't tell you what kind of movie this is, the hundreds of references and inside jokes from other sci-fi films(or any adventure film from your childhood including a killer Jaws reference) will. This would actually make a great drinking game. Seriously, this movie was custom made for sci-fi nerds who grew up in the eighties. And it all works pretty well. The cast are all amazing and incredibly funny, and all the references are clever in a silly way.

Paul is a roadtrip story that reminds me of Bubble Boy more than anything else. It has a round protagonist trying to get from point A to point B, meeting a number of crazy characters along the way who all want to get a hold of him and somehow wind up at the huge finale. The story is fairly straight forward, but it was a fun ride with some nice little twists in the road.

Paul's cgi works pretty well and his animations are all pretty believable. Yes, it's Seth Rogen being Seth Rogen, and if you don't like Seth Rogen this probably won't change your mind, but he fits in an ironic sort of way in that you wouldn't expect an alien that looks like that to have a voice like this.

Overall it's a jolly science fiction romp that panders the hell out of itself to fans alike. I wouldn't say it's as genre bending as Pegg and Frost's other movies Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuss, and I wouldn't call it the new Ghostbusters, but it's a fun sci-fi movie that's good for at least 2 or 3 showings. Recommended for sci-fi nerds and lovers of an R rated comedy.