tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35811253256328444222024-03-05T09:45:02.725-05:00Sketched ScreeningsA movie reviewed with a nifty sketch!The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.comBlogger325125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-18991292310428989252014-12-12T08:45:00.001-05:002014-12-12T08:45:44.122-05:00The EndHi. So. You've probably noticed that there haven't been any new Sketched Screenings posts. That's because I'm stopping it.<br />
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I've been frustrated with it for awhile. I've sort of hit a wall with the art I'm doing for it. I've been doing it for almost four years now, and I'm really proud of a lot of the posts I've done. Sketched Screenings was started because I liked talking about movies and I needed something to force me do sketches weekly and make me improve over time. And I think it's done that. I've come a long way with my art since the start of 2011, both in quality and in my ability to put out a decent product quickly. I mean, this was my first sketch for it:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWzqgy6BrUs39uoEGBakQeVZKmgEsZu3tKT9dSAMyOMhSNv6OowefLgJYo6KjhCYbO4nJz5poJQkZUp3KW2ypw-NCveclTNN0waZDYtZ57jlWLcNcvtzKmqmX34G1z0tyqmdYGGuUGesS3/s1600/greenHornetSketch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWzqgy6BrUs39uoEGBakQeVZKmgEsZu3tKT9dSAMyOMhSNv6OowefLgJYo6KjhCYbO4nJz5poJQkZUp3KW2ypw-NCveclTNN0waZDYtZ57jlWLcNcvtzKmqmX34G1z0tyqmdYGGuUGesS3/s1600/greenHornetSketch.jpg" height="204" width="320" /></a></div>
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WOAH. When I was starting out I was doing 1 pencil sketch per post, and now I can do 3 or 4 inked and colored illustrations per post. That's pretty great! And I'm even getting to a point where I like my style. And I would not have gotten there if it wasn't for posting Sketched Screenings every week.<br />
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But.<br />
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I'm not happy with the stuff I'm drawing. Mostly the content. Sure it's fun when there's Godzilla or some big comics movie, but I'm tired of being stumped for ideas when an indie comedy or something that's just about people comes out. I tried moving to maybe a movie poster illustration for each but I don't have the time to do the kind of really thought out illustration that demands twice a week, especially when I'm also writing the reviews. Reviews can be fun, but I'm also not really going anywhere with them. It's been feeling more like a chore than a fun thing to do, and that's not great when it's something you're spending your free time doing and not getting paid for. I've been so frustrated that I decided to take a break from it in October to see if I missed it. And then I tried to come back to it and, well, I didn't. So I'm moving on. I'm going to find something new to do every week. Not that I'm not doing ANY art.<br />
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I'll still talk about movies and comics and TV and games on <a href="https://twitter.com/thenoirguy" target="_blank">twitter</a> if you really care what I think about the Big New Thing. And maybe if I really like something enough I'll post a review on my <a href="http://thenoirguy.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">blog</a>. Otherwise, if you like my art, you can read my bi-weekly webcomic, <a href="http://www.dimestorenoir.com/" target="_blank">Dime-Store Noir</a>, and follow my art on my <a href="http://thenoirguy.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">blog</a>, my <a href="http://thenoirguy.com/" target="_blank">website</a> and <a href="http://thenoirguyart.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">my fancy new Art Tumblr.</a> And if you REALLY like my art, you can buy something off my <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/DimeStoreNoirShop" target="_blank">Etsy page</a>, or ask for a <a href="http://thenoirguy.com/commissions/" target="_blank">commission</a>, or support me through <a href="http://www.patreon.com/thenoirguy" target="_blank">Patreon</a>. That would be nice. It's the holidays and I do make custom greeting cards you know wink wink nudge nudge say no more.<br />
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Anyways, thank you so much for reading over the years. Thank you for following me, reblogging/retweeting/sharing my work and commenting on my articles. You've been a great audience and I hope you stick with me for whatever I do next. Thanks and so long for now!<br />
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-JoshThe Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-18053412699638421372014-09-12T17:46:00.000-04:002014-09-12T17:46:27.181-04:00TV SHOWS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD YOU MONSTERS: OH GOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN: DC DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ANYMORE<div class="p1">
It's an angry week I guess, because here's another TV SHOWS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD YOU MONSTER list. But this time we’re talking about cartoons from DC in a special DC DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ANYMORE edition!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtBo5c4KAXmvbwjbxaY3tOrpWdLyNOImBJWgI2mEKi1MIDbmZ3yruMqP3J4ilFhMkMlMa9yfhwBGFCHFrG3mqonY69PL1K_gdBeHPY1YQDYwqu_RSA27-g156cu3jEvGFRRgD0HdmU9mcN/s1600/DC05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtBo5c4KAXmvbwjbxaY3tOrpWdLyNOImBJWgI2mEKi1MIDbmZ3yruMqP3J4ilFhMkMlMa9yfhwBGFCHFrG3mqonY69PL1K_gdBeHPY1YQDYwqu_RSA27-g156cu3jEvGFRRgD0HdmU9mcN/s1600/DC05.jpg" height="320" width="138" /></a></div>
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<b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAFP0IoMfsA" target="_blank">Batman: The Brave and The Bold</a></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSTPYB8rfPXiiT4dQ6b62HFQj1zrQRHv7nUMxj8GM2pGDYcoanwfvPpg97YbGVNAAQCk8h0gRP9Qsl3lIjP06EJxRTVweqazlTglZipSiOl_WB5PAOk8NeDj1UAMaolo53wMExgGFi8vJE/s1600/DC01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSTPYB8rfPXiiT4dQ6b62HFQj1zrQRHv7nUMxj8GM2pGDYcoanwfvPpg97YbGVNAAQCk8h0gRP9Qsl3lIjP06EJxRTVweqazlTglZipSiOl_WB5PAOk8NeDj1UAMaolo53wMExgGFi8vJE/s1600/DC01.jpg" height="320" width="242" /></a>Granted, this had a pretty good three-season run, BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN FOUR YOU MONSTERS! OR FIVE OR SIX EVEN! THIS WAS AN AMAZING SHOW FOR KIDS HOW COULD YOU. I mean look, if you like Batman to be totally grim-dark all the time, that's fine, but you're wrong. It's cool to be dark and brooding sometimes, but other times, you just want to be fun! And this was loads of fun! This was a super fun show for kids with really good storylines. I will keep telling you how fun it is and you WILL believe me! This show made Aquaman cool! That is so impressive, how do you even do that? How many awards did this show win for making Aquaman a legit amazing character?! How did they get him so right? And it's not just Aquaman. This show’s Batman was totally prepared for anything, took crime seriously, had a car that turned into a robot, and was voiced by the spectacular Diedrich Bader! He'd spout amazing one-liners like "I'll write my own prescription – for justice!" And there were amazing storylines, like going to an alternate planet where Batman got superpowers! And one where he found the guy who murdered his parents! And an episode where the Joker was the protagonist trying to do crimes! It's such a fun series. When people try to explain away dumb shows like <i>Avengers Assemble </i>as being "just for kids," show them this because this was a smart and well-done show totally for kids. Unfortunately, too many fans bemoaned not having a DARK GRIM SERIOUS Batman and they canceled it to start production on a more serious show. More on that later.</div>
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<b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMs6_QOV10g" target="_blank">Young Justice</a></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinchS3p7ke_j3YvvECLM18QgA6ZqBJK_SRKf8LTGyYuQAMAHDcqq2ifaD1zTNZKGNT1_qoRVARzYfsCEDNLK-pjY4048LfqeO99Dscc_OWgfGQVCd_NrZ68x6BWG2LvqdxeHEVVclx_NWS/s1600/DC03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinchS3p7ke_j3YvvECLM18QgA6ZqBJK_SRKf8LTGyYuQAMAHDcqq2ifaD1zTNZKGNT1_qoRVARzYfsCEDNLK-pjY4048LfqeO99Dscc_OWgfGQVCd_NrZ68x6BWG2LvqdxeHEVVclx_NWS/s1600/DC03.jpg" height="320" width="221" /></a>This was a much more serious show than <i>B:BATB</i>, but it was still a boatload of fun. It dealt with the sidekicks and younger versions of established, popular heroes like Robin, Superboy, Kid Flash and Speedy, and featured really compelling story arcs for them. It had a pretty diverse cast including Miss Martian, Zatana, Artemis, and a black Aqualad. It had incredibly fluid animation with fantastically choreographed fight scenes, and a smart script with great dialogue that sounded like authentic teenage banter. It was entertaining, but more than that, it was sympathetic. In a good way. It was a show that pulled at your emotions and made you shout at your TV. It dealt with relationships, hook-ups, friendship, trauma, trust issues, body image and acceptance, and other things real teenagers go through. Like proving you’re old enough to take on a big task, or learning to rely on your friends, not stopping Intergang or sneaking into a secret underground base. It's a really well-done show, and unfortunately only got two seasons because it didn't sell enough toys. BECAUSE THAT'S WHY COMPANIES MAKE CARTOONS, TO SELL TOYS AND NO OTHER REASONS NOPE. It was a really well done, well put-together, diverse show and they CANCELED IT BECAUSE IT COULDN'T PUSH ENOUGH MERCHANDISE. Isn't that more of the ad team's fault? Nothing like punishing everyone for the fault of a few.</div>
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<b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44W2s7W1P8U" target="_blank">Green Lantern: The Animated Series</a></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDuFERkf6NqDmhCpgvTS9Q71JMsAaIGN3QwO7S3UI7o0Og3KSJPu34T7fERXCSUev9nZ-h5IuFqDw_jDyqrKznl46x__2XUnWEikzkZ0-LdHZSNtkk2MpvOnZbywFP64_b3Q3QP9JXQarJ/s1600/DC02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDuFERkf6NqDmhCpgvTS9Q71JMsAaIGN3QwO7S3UI7o0Og3KSJPu34T7fERXCSUev9nZ-h5IuFqDw_jDyqrKznl46x__2XUnWEikzkZ0-LdHZSNtkk2MpvOnZbywFP64_b3Q3QP9JXQarJ/s1600/DC02.jpg" height="320" width="226" /></a>Wow. WOW. Who thought that a show about Green Lantern, in CGI, would ever be this good? And yet, here we are with this fantastic series. Of course, it's partially developed by Bruce Timm, so that's a big help. But yes, this is actually a great series with cool, exaggerated designs that does a pretty amazing job of introducing newcomers to the Green Lantern mythos. Most of it is centered on Hal Jordan and his small crew traveling the outer reaches of space and helping aliens in need. And it works! Mostly, it comes down to the characters. They’re great, and <span class="s1">they <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zriugntY74" target="_blank">interact so well with each other</a></span>. Hal is easy going but brash, Kilawog is tough but loyal, Aya is a computer trying to understand the weird phenomenon of human emotion, and Razer is filled with hate. It goes to great lengths to introduce fantastical concepts like other lantern corps, the Manhunters, and even Mogo, the living planet. It's such a wonderful show! AND THEY CANCELED IT. THEY CANCELED IT RIGHT IN ITS STUPID FACE. This one I can’t even understand. They didn’t even MAKE any Green Lantern toys! Why didn't they make some?! You think kids wouldn't want a big ol' Kilawog or Hal or Aya with interchangeable parts and different green constructs?! THE POSSIBILITIES WERE ENDLESS YOU DOPES. Well they cancelled this because they wanted another Batman series that they were SURE would do well so– </div>
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<b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYfaV8uP8Dc" target="_blank">Beware The Batman</a></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig42oE5AKegD8c2TuBurZglKryab_C5e0w1ANJ_9P-OeQJ__6LXB6VVEbX8wJBtcvrYnU_vEDkd3gVys1exiT_DpbEkkwX_DGezsPIvva48HuBRqhBQ555ZDPd1nZcP5QLB_haXeH5zhqy/s1600/DC04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig42oE5AKegD8c2TuBurZglKryab_C5e0w1ANJ_9P-OeQJ__6LXB6VVEbX8wJBtcvrYnU_vEDkd3gVys1exiT_DpbEkkwX_DGezsPIvva48HuBRqhBQ555ZDPd1nZcP5QLB_haXeH5zhqy/s1600/DC04.jpg" height="320" width="298" /></a>I originally hated this on principal, because this was the reason <i>Green Lantern</i> and <i>Young Justice </i>(and probably <i>B:BATB</i>) were canceled. But it's actually a pretty solid show! It's a new Batman, one we don't normally see, with a tougher Alfred and a cool girl sidekick. A SHOW WITH COOL STRONG BADASS GIRL SIDEKICK. YOU CANCE– actually they haven't <i>technically</i> canceled this one yet. They only, uh, put the show on hold and then ran the rest of the episodes on Adult Swim. On Saturday nights. At 3 AM. THREE FREAKING A.M. I am not holding my breath for a second season. It’s a real shame because it has a sleek look and<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjS4E8-uUzU" target="_blank"> a cool intro song</a> and a Batman that isn’t as much of a machismo power fantasy in visual form, for a change. They even try to use villains you probably haven’t heard about, like Anarchy and Magpie. Which I loved, because honestly, how many Joker and Two-Face stories do you need? I'm starting to see a trend of these shows – shows that try to branch out and be more inclusive with their rosters – getting canceled. It just makes me so angry because they canceled all these shows because they wanted a new serious Batman show that can sell toys and THEY CAN'T EVEN MAKE A BATMAN SHOW WORK. YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING DC. Seriously. Well, go watch this one on Adult Swim while you can.</div>
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<b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7ging4Nqww" target="_blank">Super Best Friends Forever</a></b></div>
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Okay, you got me. Technically this wasn't even a show. This was just a collection of shorts on DC's failed cartoon block, DC Nation. But honestly, WHY IS THIS NOT A SHOW?! It has Batgirl, Supergirl and Wondergirl having fun and going on adventures and SERIOUSLY THIS SHOULD BE A SHOW RIGHT NOW YOU WOULD MAKE ALL OF THE MONEY. DC, DO YOU JUST HATE MONEY? DO YOU NOT WANT TO MAKE ANY MONEY RIGHT NOW?! Let me sell this show to your audience: This show is Powerpuff Girls plus The Justice League. MAKE THIS SHOW DAMMIT. MAKE IT. MAKE IT NOW. MAKE ALL OF THE TOYS AND ACTION FIGURES AND DOLLS FOR IT. Do you know how much of a demand there is for action shows with women and girl protagonists?! SUCH A DEMAND. But no it's fine. Go make another Batman cartoon or whatever and continue to ignore a marginalized audience, DC. You, dear reader, can watch all of the fantastic shorts on <span class="s1">Youtube</span>. Then join me in going “UGH” in DC’s general direction.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-62905009676674586122014-09-10T21:50:00.000-04:002014-09-10T21:50:01.468-04:00TV SHOWS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD YOU MONSTERS: OH GOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING MARVEL<div class="p1">
It's time for another installment of TV SHOWS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD YOU HEARTLESS MONSTERS. Today we have the THERE ARE CHILDREN WATCHING YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS edition, featuring all Marvel cartoons!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqvBHYT6byvAhYX8dVJe-g_tNrcfAviLCuMpcz5NPB_O9ZHgoWfKRhLlrP1hzNtyBDcGFNZlprztHKbpHzaoTGs90X0vcbC3S5mQ3_kUunqEl2Wj0p_xzY_G0rThjME0yspsAxj3PGw50o/s1600/marvel04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqvBHYT6byvAhYX8dVJe-g_tNrcfAviLCuMpcz5NPB_O9ZHgoWfKRhLlrP1hzNtyBDcGFNZlprztHKbpHzaoTGs90X0vcbC3S5mQ3_kUunqEl2Wj0p_xzY_G0rThjME0yspsAxj3PGw50o/s1600/marvel04.jpg" height="320" width="220" /></a></div>
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<b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIkH3V3wUiM" target="_blank">Spider-Man: The New Animated Series</a></b></div>
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This one you might not remember as it is over 10 years old, but it's still a fun series. It was supposed to be slightly based on the first <span class="s1"><i>Spider-Man</i></span> movie, and I guess the <span class="s1"><i>Daredevil</i></span> movie a bit, as well, since it had a black Kingpin. And it was done in CGI cel-shading animation! Remember when that first came out and it was <span class="s1"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNNQk4acqg4" target="_blank">all the rage</a></span>? That was pretty cool. Sure, some of the continuity was messy, but it had a great voice cast including Neil Patrick Harris as Peter Parker! YOU CANCELED A SERIES WITH NEIL PATRICK HARRIS AS SPIDER-MAN YA DOOFS! WHO COULD YOU WANT AS SPIDER-MAN MORE THAN NPH?! Well, Donald Glover probably, but other than that, NPH is your guy. It only had one season and only got to tackle a handful of classic villains, but it was a great little series that tried to focus on a slightly older Peter in college (it was for MTV, after all) and it was fun! You should look it up to watch if you get a chance.</div>
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<b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S19w2xXU54" target="_blank">Spectacular Spider-Man</a></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj11KtKlQRqDpb9FFv-pUDmRlDjXPfwaTsDzqxlV3LU6pXps7FDsiPyh_q3tfezMOF98k7rG1Jjsm9eFXzotW-4i-9kxN4CXHRiMCmNnMBuPPv2g8IbUUA4z2oAs7RV4EO2HUMAUWchWWc1/s1600/marvel01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj11KtKlQRqDpb9FFv-pUDmRlDjXPfwaTsDzqxlV3LU6pXps7FDsiPyh_q3tfezMOF98k7rG1Jjsm9eFXzotW-4i-9kxN4CXHRiMCmNnMBuPPv2g8IbUUA4z2oAs7RV4EO2HUMAUWchWWc1/s1600/marvel01.jpg" height="320" width="303" /></a>"Whoa, ANOTHER SPIDER-MAN SERIES?! Josh, you must be STRAIGHT TRIPPIN" is what you're probably saying. But hear me out because I'm going to drop some hard knowledge on you: <i>Spectacular Spider-Man</i> is the best Spider-Man cartoon of all time. OF ALL TIME. THERE, I SAID IT HATERS, HOW DOES IT FEEL?! I know a lot of people still hold the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZw64rBswqc" target="_blank"><span class="s1">90's</span> <i>Spider-Man </i><span class="s1">series</span> </a>as the best, and hey, it still holds a certain place in my heart, but re-watch a couple of episodes and you'll see that the <span class="s1">animation</span> with the SUPER early 3D doesn't hold up. Plus, it is super 90's. <i>Spectacular</i> on the other hand, has amazing (see what I did there?) animation, great character designs, and a super amusing, cartoony style. Many times, it introduces characters and story-lines from the original comics but twists them in ways that feel new and refreshing! It also feels serious while maintaining its kid-friendliness. It actually took me awhile to get into it, but look: There is an episode where <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLXyoIcKRzA" target="_blank">the black symbiote suit takes on the Sinister Six</a> and it is <span class="s1">GORGEOUS</span>. It is fun, the voice actors are great, and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dEP_TebXaE" target="_blank">the opening credits theme</a> is super catchy, in a good way! Apparently it was canceled when the cartoon rights for Spider-Man reverted back to Marvel, but not the rights to the actual show, which stayed with Sony, which – MAN, THAT'S A JERK MOVE, SONY. And then to counter it Marvel made the <i>Ultimate Spider-Man</i> show, <a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2012/04/sketched-tv-ultimate-spiderman.html" target="_blank">which is AWFUL</a>. It is just <span class="s1">GOD AWFUL</span> AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED. Anyway, if you want to see the best Spider-Man series, EVER, the whole series just came out on Blu-Ray, and I think episodes are streaming.</div>
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<b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbJAG9PjM9Y" target="_blank">Wolverine and the X-Men</a></b></div>
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Heeeeey buddy, remember way back when I said <i>Spectacular Spider-Man</i> was the best Spider-Man cartoon, and you totally thought that was blasphemy? Well, this is gonna sound like double blasphemy, because <i>WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN</i> IS THE BEST X-MEN CARTOON YA PUNKERS. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. I SAID IT. Go ahead! Go watch<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfmqSOr2-NY" target="_blank"> that <span class="s1">90's show</span></a> and tell me how well the animation holds up! Or the voice actors with <span class="s1"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_rj1B3l9gE" target="_blank">questionable accents</a></span>! Or better yet, go read <span class="s1"><a href="http://comicsalliance.com/tags/x-men-episode-guide/" target="_blank">Chris Sims recap every episode</a></span>. It's a hoot. Anyways, this X-Men series has the best stories, the best animation, the best character designs, and a killer voice cast! They have an episode with Night Crawler as a swashbuckling pirate fighting intergalactic kidnappers! And Wolverine and Cyclops switch loner and leader rules! And half the show takes place in the future with Professor X using robot legs and contacting Wolverine in the past! It's uh, it's pretty out there is what I'm saying. It's such a great show. Okay, okay, <span class="s1"><i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7yDf1q9jYw" target="_blank">X-Men: Evolution</a></i></span><i> </i>is pretty fun too, BUT AT LEAST THAT GOT 4 SEASONS. YOU PEOPLE DON'T DESERVE A GOOD X-MEN SHOW. The people who canceled <i>Wolverine and the X-Men</i> deserve to <span class="s1">GET <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9y4SWc5w78" target="_blank">COVERED WITH SCORPIONS</a>.</span></div>
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<b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fToS3tU2MxI" target="_blank">Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes</a></b></div>
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This might be the biggest injustice Marvel has done recently. Not just because <i>Earth's Mightiest Heroes</i> was so dang good, but because it was replaced with the <a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2013/05/sketched-tv-avengers-assemble.html" target="_blank"><span class="s1">incredibly horrible</span> <i>Avengers: Assemble</i></a>. <i>Earth's Mightiest Heroes</i> is better than it has any right to be. It's got great character design; fun takes on classic characters like Iron Man, Hulk, Wasp, and Ant-man; really great storylines; and solid animation. And it's really funny and has a great script! There's an episode where Absorbing Man takes on the properties of Mjolnir! Sure, the series only started out with Wasp on the team, but the show passed the Bechdel test in the first five minutes of the first episode. Then there’s <i><a href="http://io9.com/this-avengers-assemble-episode-was-a-crime-against-all-1563425417" target="_blank">Assemble</a>, </i>and – does Black Widow even show up for most of the show? <i>EMH </i>had engaging storylines and did a stellar job of introducing kids and Marvel newcomers to side characters like Iron Fist, Power Man, and Ms. Marvel. And WHY did they cancel it? So they could make a new series that's slightly more similar to the movie universe, and also lines up better with the equally terrible <i>Ultimate Spider-Man</i>. Why? Because kids would look at the movie and then the EMH cartoon and not get THEY'RE FROM THE SAME UNIVERSE?? DO YOU THINK KIDS ARE THAT STUPID YOU MUDFLAPS?! Ugh. If you want to see a truly great Avengers cartoon, look it up. At least it got a two full seasons and a chance to do both <span class="s1"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CFc7s4aDlM" target="_blank">MODOK</a></span> and Galactus.</div>
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<b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzLflJhtGFs" target="_blank">Spider-Man Unlimited</a></b></div>
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YOU ONLY GAVE ONE SEASON TO A SPIDER-MAN SHOW WHERE HE ABANDONS HIS WIFE AND GOES TO A PLANET FILED WITH ANIMAL PEOPLE AND WEIRD VERSIONS OF HIS ORIGINAL VILLAINS AND SOMETIMES HE FLIRTS WITH A RAT LADY AND actually I can kinda see why this one only got one season. But at least it had a really cool style that made it feel like a motion comic.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-14752868895410435232014-09-05T17:16:00.000-04:002014-09-05T17:16:12.468-04:00Deadfall<div class="p1">
Get out your snowmobiles and shotguns, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IWaBAwTf2U" target="_blank">Deadfall</a></i>!</div>
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Addison (Eric Bana) and Liza (Olivia Wilde), brother and sister, are fresh off a robbery when they get stuck in a horrible snowstorm and need to lay low. They set out in different directions. Liza meets a fresh-out-of-prison ex-boxer, Jay (Charlie Hunnam), while Addison has a much harder time. Can they escape to Canada before Sheriff Becker (Treat Williams) and his daughter, Deputy Hanna (Kate Mara) catch them?</div>
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This is a surprisingly good little noir thriller. I can't believe I'd never heard of this before. It starts off rocky when they kill off the black guy within the first five minutes (the third partner in the siblings' heist gang, who refuses to wear a seatbelt and dies in a crash) which is SUPER surprising. I didn't think any movie was bold or dumb enough to do that still. We all agreed that was an outdated, useless, racist trope, right? And it doesn't help that the rest of the movie is as white as the snowstorm the two criminals get stuck in. Once (or if) you get past that, it's a good thriller.</div>
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I'd be loathe to call this a southern noir, since Eric Bana and Olivia Wilde's southern accents are pretty bad, but it does take place outside a small town in the backwoods with shanty cabins and guys that hunt for food. It does a great job of taking advantage of the harsh winter environment. You can feel how cold it is and how much of a necessity it is to find warmth and shelter.</div>
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This has a lot of badass stuff; lots of action and a ton of appropriately gory (for a crime thriller) kills. It even has a snowmobile chase! How many noirs can you say have snowmobile chases in them? Not many, I bet. And Eric Bana goes through some pretty badass stuff that makes you go WHOA. He just does <i>not</i> have a good day in this movie. I don't know why I like Eric Bana as an actor so much. He's usually pretty great in his roles but he's not been in <i>a lot</i> of great movies, but here he's really good. He's great at playing a bad guy that's trying to be good, and is slightly off his rocker to boot. I also like that he's trying to be protective of his sister, but in a super creepy way that actually demonstrates how the over-productive patriarchy is terrible for women. And Charlie Hunnam is pretty good too! The cast is all fairly decent.</div>
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What this movie does really well as an ensemble thriller is set up pieces so it can knock them down later. Jay needs to go up to visit his parents to get the keys to the cabin, but Liza is coming with him! But then Addison is on his way there as well! OH CRAP. You see all these pieces moving into place and you know there's going to be a big fight in the finale and it keeps you on pins and needles just waiting for the great big kill to happen. There is a lot of great suspense here. And luckily, it sticks the landing. The big finale that’s been set up is just as satisfying as you want it to be.</div>
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Even though it's a bit of a Southern Noir, it also feels very modern because they use cellphones in ways people would contemporarily use cellphones. The brother and sister call each other and Addison actually uses a GPS app on his phone to find a house. I don't know why this is such a big deal for me. I guess mostly because I’m thrilled to see southern noirs get a new resurgence, where the writers aren’t treating the genre as a way to get back to that frontier time when they didn't have to worry about computers and cellphones ruining their plot cliches. So here you get people using technology in ways that make sense! It's nice that there's a noir trying to step into the modern world instead of denying its existence.</div>
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Speaking of noir stepping into the modern world, there are a ton of female roles in this! Not to say that women didn’t used to exist, but now there’s a real push for equal representation, at least. So, hooray for a positive change in character roles – really complex, different ones where they're not always damsels in distress or ‘<span class="s1">fridged</span>.’ Liza uses her sexuality to get what she wants but is also having second thoughts about her morality and maybe getting a chance at a real life. Hanna is a pretty good cop that's on her way to become an FBI agent. Still, she doesn't get any respect from her Sheriff father or other male deputies, and despite that she still wants to take care of him. June is a badass mother that loves her son and doesn't panic in dangerous situations. And then there are little roles like that of Dorris, who works for the police, and the cool punk bartender. It's still not half the cast, but it's close. If it had a little more racial diversity I'd be happy. There's also a ton of sexism that makes me angry, but it's sort of there to acknowledge how tough some of the ladies have it and setting up reasons why you want these jerk guys to die off, so I'm letting it slide. No one gets horribly raped, which is a magnificent change of pace.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisv3gNVc5r7mc_sXUJQciQcHMjpxr2EfVTWjBSV3Kl5VBW-lx6AbINkM6oLrY6TKtxSJ5-7NCExzJUNDSFLnj1k_7S1K2jiPgvc5ZKKnZaSNvubWxw1emQMgaR7sRYpliIMARuUksgoPjx/s1600/deadfall03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisv3gNVc5r7mc_sXUJQciQcHMjpxr2EfVTWjBSV3Kl5VBW-lx6AbINkM6oLrY6TKtxSJ5-7NCExzJUNDSFLnj1k_7S1K2jiPgvc5ZKKnZaSNvubWxw1emQMgaR7sRYpliIMARuUksgoPjx/s1600/deadfall03.jpg" height="320" width="301" /></a></div>
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I don't think there's anything that really wows me about the cinematography or score like a lot of film noir does, but it's still done well. The pacing is good, and I like how the theme seems to be about family, forgiveness and letting go. There are some father issues, but it never gets annoying to the point of white guys whining about their daddy issues. And since this happens around Thanksgiving, this might oust <span class="s1"><i>Pieces of April</i></span> as my requisite Thanksgiving movie. Well, maybe not. <i>Pieces of April</i> is <i>really</i> good.</div>
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<i>Deadfall</i> is a great noir. It's not as racially diverse as I'd like, but it's surprisingly modern for a frozen southern-fried noir. It's engaging and suspenseful, it's got nice character work, tons of action and it's an ensemble movie that does a nice job of setting up a climactic and satisfying finale.</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great and brutal action, lots of women roles, feels modern, suspenseful, good characters, good themes, sets up pieces nicely, satisfying ending.</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>immediate token black guy death, barely any racial diversity, terrible accents.</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$ <i>Deadfall </i>is a great noir that you should definitely check out. It would have gotten a solid five if it didn't kill the black guy in the beginning. WHY YOU DO THAT, MOVIE??</div>
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Hanna, Winter's Bone, Mud, 2 Days in the Valley, Out of the Furnace</i></div>
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>When Jay gets out, he goes to see his trainer about some money. They have a bit of a fight, and the trainer falls and hits his head. Jay starts to call 911, but there's no way people are going to believe a recent ex-con hit him in self-defense, or that he just SLIPPED. So, he figures he has to run.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-45677117549630442302014-09-03T18:41:00.000-04:002014-09-03T18:41:11.150-04:00Dark City<div class="p1">
Get out your rope and poker chips, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaeBcWmvK_Y" target="_blank">Dark City</a></i>!</div>
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No, not that one. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrGSLMl1XFs" target="_blank">Not the one with Keifer Sutherland as the mad scientist</a>. NO, JUST-</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBkIVwUXoxJFlrs8HiiRlXJ9ZEEitV-kLh4yhebxFzBmvjvKfr6w33PdU4D_OtdsKWgwup1hJ9OFRVA874WiN7I8Li83RLqxOxT919jPbEx0PE1pA9Qu4AQsmHGT6ABJvxo7OowjmIkZxM/s1600/darkCity01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBkIVwUXoxJFlrs8HiiRlXJ9ZEEitV-kLh4yhebxFzBmvjvKfr6w33PdU4D_OtdsKWgwup1hJ9OFRVA874WiN7I8Li83RLqxOxT919jPbEx0PE1pA9Qu4AQsmHGT6ABJvxo7OowjmIkZxM/s1600/darkCity01.jpg" height="320" width="176" /></a></div>
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Danny (Charlton Heston) and his gang are hard up on cash when they find an obvious mark and clean him out in a poker match. But then the gang finds out that the mark killed himself over the dishonor of losing someone else's money, and his brother ain't too happy. Suddenly, members of their group start turning up dead. Can they stop the killer before their luck runs out?</div>
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It's so weird watching a movie that's "introducing Charlton Heston." I think that kid's gonna go far. Also, how have I never heard about this? It's a really good noir!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMDAwr5Fm8ptsHOt71ElQx_NKsn_trKfXaU0oAZj-v9vDiCJwIq_1YFUz25aGINEq49xKxPyXPClfBMfXngT_maNN0c6KJ2tTDMaYkKadN9MCjgyhN2thfXPhdwJAl0XpdpletBBo1JhD/s1600/darkCity02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDMDAwr5Fm8ptsHOt71ElQx_NKsn_trKfXaU0oAZj-v9vDiCJwIq_1YFUz25aGINEq49xKxPyXPClfBMfXngT_maNN0c6KJ2tTDMaYkKadN9MCjgyhN2thfXPhdwJAl0XpdpletBBo1JhD/s1600/darkCity02.jpg" height="320" width="202" /></a>Notably good about it is Heston's character Danny, who regularly straddles the good guy/scumbag line. Bonus: you get to understand why he's a scumbag, because he explains in the beginning that it's a tough world. See, Danny and his crew run a gambling den, and Danny's the smooth operating mastermind that's never been caught by the police. They had a good thing going until the police raided them. But now they're hard up on cash and they need to survive! Danny's constantly tussling with the cops, but he's also trying to keep his gang of crooks from going too dark, so you never know which side he's going to fall on. Heston sells the crap out of it. You can see how he got so big. He can be real smooth but he can also be real nasty.</div>
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The cast is really good. Along with Charlton Heston there's also Harry Morgan as the young guy (which is super weird), Jack Web, Lizabeth Scott, and Ed Begley! They're all really good in their roles and there's a ton of great dialogue, especially between Danny and the cops. "Are you clean, Haley?" "Immaculate."</div>
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Another great thing about <i>Dark City</i> is the narrative suspense and the constant paranoia of the criminals. The film has tons of beautifully choreographed shots that make you anxious for something to jump out of the shadows, and they have this great trick of showing nothing but the murderer's hand until the final ten minutes. It's complimented by the great score that adds a real sense of urgency. It's some really well-done stuff. I'm a little disappointed because I expected the story to be a bit more complex or have a bit more intrigue than it did, but it's pretty straightforward. Still, because it's simple and there aren't any big twists, that means they have a lot of room to let the story breathe.</div>
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Speaking of twists, not to spoil the ending (as much as possible considering the film is 60+ years old) but it's a much happier ending to a noir movie than I expected. It's at odds with the usual noir ending, in my opinion. It feels very out-of-left-field for the main characters, like they all suddenly grew a conscience and decided to be happy. Maybe it was rushed? Maybe Hollywood wanted a happy ending? The rest of the film feels totally noir, but I just expected an ending more morally ambiguous and nuanced.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCv2oiO1vaG3zVH3xLZwA8wBxVifdHpsaHHJ6_j9myhPNo1GDSyagG7GrZKIeJ8dIAT_gY74CK1OzqUhHXvBME2ZWvul9x-aKTYJuNC0X54SBDvqyVJNeNrSBdgZs8AQa0I9Stn1WduVdN/s1600/darkCity03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCv2oiO1vaG3zVH3xLZwA8wBxVifdHpsaHHJ6_j9myhPNo1GDSyagG7GrZKIeJ8dIAT_gY74CK1OzqUhHXvBME2ZWvul9x-aKTYJuNC0X54SBDvqyVJNeNrSBdgZs8AQa0I9Stn1WduVdN/s1600/darkCity03.jpg" height="320" width="197" /></a>The production feels very cheap. You expect driving shots to have projected footage. But a shot like Charlton Heston simply walking? There are shots like that over projected footage, too. Could they not afford to set up a street camera? There are also a few noticeable editing mistakes where the film is choppy. Lizabeth Scott has a nice singing voice and it's nice to see her sing, but she sings at least four or five times, which is a bit much for this film. They serve no greater purpose than to say "Look at her singing!" I feel like they were just trying to get their money's worth outta her.</div>
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Speaking of women, there are two who aren't used as damsels in distress, nor are they horribly murdered! They feel like actual characters with emotions and stuff. I feel like that's a lot better than <span class="s1"><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/08/sin-city-dame-to-kill-for.html" target="_blank">some other movies</a> <a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-expendables-3.html" target="_blank">that just recently come out</a></span>. Why is a movie from the 50's slightly more progressive? How the hell did that happen?</div>
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Anyways, <i>Dark City</i> is a pretty great noir! It’s perhaps not as twisty and turn-y as some others, but I still found it a great study in guilt and debt, with a great use of paranoia and a nice cast.</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Good cast, Charlton Heston, great dialogue, great cinematography, great score, great paranoia, good characters.</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Plot is simple, production feels cheap, ending too happy.</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$ It's great! If you like noir and suspense and want to see young Charlton Heston, go pick this one up.</div>
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>5 Against the House, The Killers, Murder by Contract, The Set-Up, Night in the City</i></div>
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>Barney is getting really nervous and thinks he was followed home, but Danny thinks he's just imagining things; Barney gets worked up about everything anyway. Barney goes through his apartment looking for something to jump out at him, and he's not sure if someone's there or if he <i>is </i>just seeing things. Then he finds some broken glass under an open window he was sure he’d closed.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-30010160414724492512014-08-29T16:28:00.000-04:002014-08-29T16:28:00.365-04:00The Expendables 3<div class="p1">
Get out your guns and knives and motorcycles, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xD0junWlFc" target="_blank">The Expendables 3</a></i>!</div>
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After a mission goes wrong, Barney (Sylvestor Stallone) breaks up the team. He finds out an old member named Stonebanks (Mel Gibson) is still alive and has turned evil, and hires all new recruits to take him out. But then they all suck, so he brings back the old team to rescue the new team!</div>
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I want to say this isn't as good as <i>The Expendables 2</i>, but honestly I can't really remember anthing specific that happened in <i>The Expendables 2</i>. Or <i>Expendables 1</i>, for that matter. According to <a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-expendables-2.html" target="_blank"><span class="s1">my review of</span> <i>2</i></a> I at least moderately enjoyed it, so I guess I'm safe in saying I did not like this movie as much as the last one. </div>
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The main problem I have is Barney's reason for breaking the team up. He does this after Terry Crews' character gets shot in the butt and critically injured enough to be absent for the rest of the movie. And that sucks for not having any Terry Crews in the movie, but Barney pretty much goes, "Whoa, we can DIE?! I didn't know that!" and that’s his explanation for disbanding the team. And it's – do you even know what the word "expendable" means? Didn't one of your guys die in the last movie? Didn't Dolph Lundgren turn evil, die, and get better in the first? I know I shouldn't take these movies <i>too</i> seriously, but this makes entirely too little sense. "It's so crazy you can die in this business," Barney says, after killing literally one thousand dudes.</div>
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Most of the movie isn't that exciting. The prison break on the train in the beginning is not exciting, the entire middle where he recruits a new team is boring, then at the end it picks up enough for me to call it fun. But for most of the movie? Meh. The new guys are really terrible and forgettable. There's the tech dude, the wild dude, the parkour dude, and the girl. I'm especially disappointed at newcomer Ronda Rousey because she's a pretty great fighter but she cannot act to save her life. Also, she's basically the only female character in this movie. There are no other female characters. None. Oh, there has to be at least one woman in the background, you say? Look closely. Nope. Those aren’t women. Those are DUDES IN WIGS. Okay, I’m kidding, but seriously, she's the only main female lead and there are almost ten other leads – all dudes – and on top of that she's a damsel in distress for most of the time. Three of the guys get to be damsels in distress, too, but even then, other dudes rescue them! When captive, only the woman gets the “privilege” of the villain’s creepy touch-the-face thing. All the men are exempt from that damsel-in-distress rite of passage. Having only one woman feels like a downgrade because there were definitely at least two women in the last movie. What happened to Lee Christmas's fiancé/wife?</div>
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There are a looooot of scenes in this movie where two dudes get really close to each other, to threaten each other, but with the very apparent side effect of looking like they're about to lock lips and make out. I wish that was how they ended most confrontations, actually. C'mon guys, just smooch it out. Apparently two of the men are actually an openly gay couple at the end (even though I missed that detail during my own viewing), so I guess the smooching wouldn’t have been that out of place, after all! No “no homo,” NOW KISS.</div>
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There are some good exchanges here and there. Most of the good banter is between Stallone and Kelsey Grammer while they're recruiting the team. They’re just shooting the shit. But then the movie has a lot of bad dialogue that feels like forced action one-liners. A lot of stuff feels like they're forcing a reference to another of their older, probably more fun, 80's or 90’s action movies. Schwarzenegger straight says, "Get to the choppah!"</div>
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Someone I was really surprised by was Antonio Banderas. He steals the whole movie, and gets a bunch of huge laughs. And he's got a pretty good character arc! I'd forgotten how good he is at just being a likable guy who's good at punch-y, shoot-y stuff. Now I want to see him in more movies! Wesley Snipes is okay and Mel Gibson is pretty good at playing the bad guy.</div>
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The end battle has lots of explosions and gunplay and hand to hand battles and junk, but there's not a lot of much else in the rest of the movie. I’d go so far as to say there are a couple good laughs. And maybe a couple cool scenes. Antonio Banderas is a plus. But it's not great, and what little I remember now I’m certain I’ll forget in the next couple of months.</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Some good banter, Antonio Banderas, good ending action, gay couple??</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Trivial/uninspired story, no Terry Crews, bad acting and forced dialogue, forgettable action, only one female character, is there some sort of black-guy limit? Can there be only one or something?</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$ Meh. Why bother?</div>
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Expendables 2, The Last Stand, Commando, Machete 2 </i></div>
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>The last big battle is just a montage of all the team doing their individual things. One guy is motor biking while shooting a machine gun. Ronda Rousey is wrestlin' dudes. Antonio Banderas is being awesome. And then there's one guy who's parkouring up an elevator shaft. That's his whole deal. For like five minutes. He drew the short straw of the action scene I guess.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-42406306296240254162014-08-27T04:15:00.002-04:002014-08-27T04:15:57.190-04:00Sin City: A Dame to Kill ForGet out your trench coats and bondage gear, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iFdPcx0W2w" target="_blank">Sin City: A Dame to Kill For</a></i>!<br />
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Dwight(Josh Brolin) is trying his best to lead a clean life when former lover Ava(Eva Green) walks in and needs his help. Johnny(Joseph Gordon-Levitt) wants to win big at Senator Roark's(Powers Boothe) card game. Nancy(Jessica Alba) wants revenge on Roark for Hartigan's(Bruce Willis) death. You'll find all kinds of stories in Sin City.<br />
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This is going to be interesting because I remember loving the first <i>Sin City</i> way back before I became more inclusive and less misogynistic. So now I wonder how the first one holds up. <i>Sin City 2: The Second One</i> represent noir at it's best and worst. It's beautiful, gorgeously composed and shot, has a lot of fun action, and is INCREDIBLY SPECTACULARLY misogynistic. Minor spoilers ahead.<br />
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Let's get straight to it. Most of the women here are either sex workers and strippers, damsels in distress, sex objects, raped or sexually assaulted, women in refrigerators, or a combination there of. It's really disgusting and unsettling. Of course this is par for the course for Frank Miller who <u><a href="http://www.themarysue.com/sin-city-a-dame-to-kill-for-frank-miller/" target="_blank">regularly treats his women poorly</a></u> and <u><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman:_Year_One" target="_blank">retconned Catwoman to be a sex worker</a></u> and is generally <u><a href="http://io9.com/5859038/frank-miller-slams-occupy-wall-street-becomes-a-parody-of-himself" target="_blank">a disgusting human being</a></u>. This isn't to slut-shame or put down sex workers either, it's just that when THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of your female characters are <a href="http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/01/6_hints_that_frank_miller_might_have_issues_with_w.php" target="_blank">sex workers, strippers, exotic dancers</a> etc. and they aren't given their own stories/character arcs or made to feel like real humans, and all the male characters regularly call all them bitches, whores and sluts, it is...problematic to say the least.<br />
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But hey, that's not ALL the female characters! I did find one woman in the movie after watching it a second time that wasn't a sex worker or raped or murdered horribly! It was Lady Gaga as a waitress! For 2 minutes. And that's it. That's the only one. And I'm pretty sure that goes for both movies. But I mean that's one, right? Progress???<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb9pNVRGe-j1sJaasGOzC4bfYm8IXiOFM4gjEf1EG8JFZ1v32zBl24bWWX6g-GE0Oi9eMtb1SvK2jfa9i6gJbPPeF399SIxR0N7F9NDc82_lPX0TjzqFrzIM8V4YfdG2ADHnNtTBF_i25I/s1600/sincity02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb9pNVRGe-j1sJaasGOzC4bfYm8IXiOFM4gjEf1EG8JFZ1v32zBl24bWWX6g-GE0Oi9eMtb1SvK2jfa9i6gJbPPeF399SIxR0N7F9NDc82_lPX0TjzqFrzIM8V4YfdG2ADHnNtTBF_i25I/s1600/sincity02.jpg" height="320" width="215" /></a>Anyways, I think <i>Sin City 2: The Search for More Misogyny</i> could have gotten more points if they'd treated Nancy's story better. This is the first female centric story and the first woman protagonist to narrate her own adventures in two movies! Except that she doesn't narrate it herself. Sometimes Roark speaks over her(actually coming into her room to threaten her with rape/murder) and sometimes ghost Hartigan comes back. Because heaven forbid a woman be able to narrate her own adventure herself. GEEZ. Have any of the male characters in this movie had someone else help narrate? Have any of the tons of dead female characters come back as ghosts? And it's weak sauce that Nancy has to have Ghost Hartigan appear and save her at the end. I mean, why? Also, Nancy dealing with depression is fine, but her cutting her hair/scaring herself up/hurting herself until she's able to kill? That kind of gives the idea that she has to shed her femininity and beauty before she's badass enough. That's...not cool.<br />
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Eva Green is fantastic in this and not afraid to share her bare bod, and I think it's funny that her character seems to be an honest-to-fuck succubus. That's..that's just insane Frank Miller. But it's also contributing to the idea that women are the root of all evil and they use their sexy parts to turn otherwise good tough guys into monsters and murderers. You think, "oh it's just one woman, she's a femme fatale! Woman can be evil characters, right?" Let me tell you that Ava and Dwight's story starts out with Dwight peeping on a guy complaining to his mistress that his wife is going to bleed him dry, and that eventually the mistress will too. Taking all of his good, hardworking money. COINCIDENCE?!<br />
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Talking about the movie's various stories, it doesn't work as well as the first. It tries to go for that same split-up bookended stories thing. The problem with that is that A) the only really good story is the main one with Dwight and Ava, and B) it takes place before and after(and during??) the first movie and completely muddles up the continuity. I haven't seen the first in years, but I'm pretty sure characters that should be dead for one story are now strangely alive. It's weird and confusing. I liked Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character but his story goes nowhere. Also, they take everything away from him, and then murder the girl he was spending time with and just met that night. Like, was that necessary? Also, for dramatic effect, they sit in his apartment with dead lady parts in the dark and wait for him to come home. How long do you think they had to wait with those? That must have been very uncomfortable.<br />
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While I think Dwight and Ava's story is the best of the bunch, Josh Brolin Dwight is not better than Clive Own Dwight. Having read the story before, I was hoping we'd get some Clive Owen Dwight at the end, but alas, there was none. Speaking of the cast, the main cast is good, but nowhere near as good as the first. Eva Green and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are the standouts, Rosario Dawson was fun, but everyone else of the main cast was just ok. Even Mickey Rourke as Marv didn't seem at his best. A lot of times he looked confused and bewildered, like he didn't' take his medication. Bruce Willis didn't seem like he wanted to be there, and really, he didn't need to. What WAS pretty great were the bit characters. Ray Liotta! Jeremy Piven! Christopher Loyd! Lady Gaga! They all seemed like they were having a lot of fun. And Frank Miller got to have two guest roles. Maybe more? Maybe he was secretly EVERY ROLE?!<br />
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Hey, can we talk about the casual racism? Because there's like 20 different major roles in this thing and there's only two black people and one asian person. And the Asian person is a ninja because OF COURSE. The one black guy is a manservant and at one point someone says he's "less than human", which, were there more black people, wouldn't be <i>too</i> problematic, but since he is one of only two I find it SUPER uncomfortable. Sure they're trying to recreate the overly-white comics, but you couldn't try a little bit harder to be diverse? I guess at least Rosario Dawson's Gale is pretty badass.<br />
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I saw <i>Sin City 2: A Tale of Two Trench Coats</i> twice, and while the first time I found it long and incredibly offensive, the second time around, I realized there was a lot I actually liked. I still love the overly dramatic graphic style. It looks exactly like a comic book, and if you were just looking at stills, they're gorgeous shots. And I still love their minimalist use of color for storytelling. And if you like over-the-top ridiculous action, there's a lot of that here. Lots of guns and tough guys punching and cracking of bones and Miho zooming through the air slicing 4 duded heads off at once in a super dramatic white bloodsplay. Most of the effects hold up in an over-the-top animated sort of way, but there's spots here and there where the green screen doesn't match up with the acting. And sadly, while there's fun to be had, it's still not as fun as the first. The catchphrase of <i>Sin City</i> was "YEESH" and the catchphrase of <i>Sin City 2: JGL and The No Good Very Bad Day</i> is "Ava. Damn."<br />
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The dialogue is not good. It's super cheesy. But some of it is bad cheesy and some of it is so-bad-it's-good cheesy. It tries to feel noiry, but it ends up feeling like noir fan fiction. It's too ridiculous and over the top. If it were a winking parody it might work, but it falls apart when someone says it in complete seriousness. Sometimes...sometimes it works because it's super dramatic and silly and you want it to work, and sometimes it's just dumb. There's stuff like "I was born at night, but not <i>last</i> night." which is great and then there's "Sin City is like a woman or a casino, someone always wins." What does that even mean??<br />
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Sin City as a setting doesn't really work because it never feels like a real town. It's always night and always either raining or snowing, it's economy seems to be purely based on gun stores, bars, strip clubs and brothels, and the only clothing stores are ones that sell suits, trench coats, and bondage gear. Guys can somehow squeeze a man's head so hard it explodes and women can jump 12 feet in the air regardless of training. All the men are old, ugly and tough, and wearing trench coats and all the women are young, pretty, and over- sexualize and scantily clad. It's a made-up world like <i>Harry Potter</i>. It's an adolescent fantasy of what a teenager thinks a noir town should be. It's erotic fiction. And any kind of scrutiny you put to it to make it feel realistic or dramatic falls apart. It's just for people to have fun in that dirty smutty kind of way. <i>Sin City</i> is <i>Fifty Shades of Grey </i>for dudes.<br />
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<i>Sin City 2: Women Are All Whores Who Should Die and Other Frank Miller Life Lessons</i> is only really for someone who doesn't want noir so much as an adolescent, simplistic fan-fiction versions of noir. It's a stylistically dramatic noir that's beautiful to look at and can be fun to watch, but it's written like someone who only understands the surface concepts of noir and REALLY hates women. It's...not for everyone.<br />
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Also: Rosario Dawson. Damn.<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great dramatic and cartoony style, cool graphics, fun over-the-top action, great supporting cast, pretty good main story.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>SUPER misogynistic, terrible to women, Nancy doesn't get to tell her own story, story structure is confusing and muddled, bookend stories aren't great, cheesy dialogue, casual racism, super violent, not as good as the first.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$ I enjoyed it and thought it was fun, but I also think it's incredibly misogynistic and problematic and that Frank Miller as a person is pretty terrible. AND it's not as good as the first. So yeah, only see this if you want to see smutty offensive noir erotic fiction. Maybe you'll like it if you're into that sort of thing YOU SICKO.<br />
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Sin City, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, 2 Days in the Valley, L.A. Confidential, Brick</i><br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>My favorite scene is when Rosario Dawson is seducing a guy and he rubs the barrel of his gun like a penis. That is <i>Sin City</i>. It's <i>Sin City 2: Fifty Shades of Black and White</i>.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-68981056416341890492014-08-22T00:00:00.000-04:002014-08-22T00:00:04.301-04:00Noir Comic Week: Noche Roja<div class="p1">
It's the final day of noir-comic-week palooza! We're wrapping up with a review of <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Noche-Vertigo-Crime-Simon-Oliver/dp/1401215351/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_z" target="_blank">Noche Roja</a></i> by Simon Oliver and Jason Latour!</div>
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Jack Cohen is a washed-up private eye. He’s trying to make a living selling alarm systems to hapless rich people when Paloma Flores asks him to investigate the kidnapping and murder of several young girls across the border in Mexico. It’s been eleven years since Cohen has been on that side of the border. Can he put the past behind him or will he be forced to dredge it up and seek answers to long dead questions?</div>
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I half like <i>Noche Roja </i>because over half the cast is Mexican, but on the other hand, since the main character is a straight white guy, the story wanders dangerously close to "white savior in dirty foreign country." I think the only thing that saves it is that Jack isn't any kind of savior and mucks up about as much as he saves.</div>
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He's an interesting character, and I like finding out what makes him tick – like the story behind his "rules" for the job, and why he left Mexico – but he's still a straight white dude. It's not too obnoxious and he's a pretty straight-forward washed-up noir detective, but I can't help thinking it would have been more interesting and a better story had it featured a more diverse main character. Someone like, say, Paloma? She’s a badass. I really like Paloma as a character! She's a complex female character with her own motives and wants, but she's not a Strong Female Character that's <i>just</i> a badass. </div>
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The story behind the abductions and murders is interesting, made so by the characters and sticky situations they end up in. The story even gets a tad political, with the border and immigrant issue, poor workers working in horrible conditions for next to no money, and taking a look at politicians who say big promises but may be doing more harm than good. </div>
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Probably the biggest problem with the story is the grotesque things that are done to young women. <i>Young</i> women. There's nothing graphic on the page, but there are definitely girls in their teens that are sexually abused, mutilated and killed. There's a scene where a 14(?) year old girl is forced to perform oral sex on a guy and – WOW, gross. C'mon guy. Sure, she gets some violent bloody revenge on him later, but still. Gross. Gross, gross, GROOOSS. That's gonna turn away a lot of people. Sure, ok, showing us what these workers are put through is important, and it says something about slut-shaming, but that level of detail was unnecessary. Ugh.</div>
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I generally like the art. It's got a nice exaggerated style and the characters are cartoony enough with their own unique traits, so you can tell them apart. But sometimes it's too dark to tell what's going on, especially since it's done on black paper and uses a <i>bunch</i> of tones. As far as art problems go, being too dark isn't THAT bad for a noir, but still, it definitely convoluted more than it embellished.</div>
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The story is thrilling, there's lots of action and shootouts, there's plenty of gory revenge killing, and it has a pretty great ending. But there is a lot that could turn people off. I know there's a certain kind of crime story that delves into the worst and lowest forms of humanity, much like <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/08/noir-comic-week-fogtown.html" target="_blank">Fogtown</a></i>, but I still wish the book weren't so perverse in its chosen depiction of crime drama.</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Cartoony characters, good story, diverse cast, great female characters, bloody,</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Lots of terrible things done to young women, art is sometimes too dark.</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$ It's got some great characters and cool art and a compelling story, but the depravity of the bad guys may be a huge red flag for some.</div>
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<b>BOOKS LIKE IT: </b><i>Fogtown, Sandman Mystery Theatre, Cowboys, Black Cherry</i></div>
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<b>ONE-PAGE METAPHOR:</b> There's a great scene where a group of drunks threaten violence against Paloma's organization, and Paloma diffuses them, not by beating their asses, but reminding them that she knows all of them and is friends with their wives, daughters, sons and sisters. That is BADASS – a kind of badass we rarely see. I really wish she had been the main character.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-76464432184920369202014-08-21T12:29:00.000-04:002014-08-21T12:29:07.559-04:00Noir Comic Week: 99 Days<div class="p1">
Here we are, Day 4 of Super Serious Graphic Novel Week! Today we're reviewing <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Days-Vertigo-Crime-Matteo-Casali/dp/140123089X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408638490&sr=8-1&keywords=99+days+vertigo+crime" target="_blank">99 Days</a></i> by Matteo Casali and Kristian Donaldson!</div>
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Detective Antoine Davis is tasked with solving a string of brutal murders by a machete-wielding maniac. As L.A. tears itself apart with gang violence, Antoine is reminded more and more of the awful time he spent as a refugee in Rwanda. He's tried to put the past behind, but will this finally be the case that breaks him?</div>
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It's interesting; I hate ticking clocks and timed levels in videogames, but I love them in comics. And <i>99 Days</i> manages to work it perfectly. In between solving the murder cases, the book flashes back to Antoine’s past, and the horrible things he did during those 100 days in Rwanda. The flashbacks jump out of order between his Rwanda days while time moves forward in the present. This technique really shows how he's slowly unraveling as time ticks closer and closer to that last day. It's <i>fantastic</i>.</div>
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This is a great noir in every way. Great narrative, great art, mystery that keeps you guessing, AND a diverse cast! The main character is not just black, he's Rwandan. He has a point of view we rarely ever see in comics, and it works so well in noir because they're using a character who is trying to work through trauma, but slowly falling apart. Is he going to revert back to his old ways – and these were bad old ways – or can he pull himself back from the brink of darkness? He was a child soldier forced to do horrible things for racist, psychopathic drug-lord. Why don't we see more characters like this? This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about with making your characters more diverse. It's a classic noir archetype seen in a new and exciting way!</div>
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The art by Donaldson is well done. I especially like his characters' facial expressions. You can really see how far Antoine is going by the lost look in his eyes. Donaldson does an incredible job of showing extreme situations, going a long way to demonstrate the brutality of the acts these characters are committing. Which, if you’re not into super- or ultra-violence, might be a turnoff for you.</div>
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The diversity of the book is really reinforced by the story. Apart from the flashbacks, Antoine has a Hispanic female partner that never needs saving and they both regularly interact with a diverse neighborhood. There's some really horrific stuff in the flashbacks, but in the present, the worst offender is the casual racism that has yet to be expelled from even today’s society. The kind that gets under your skin. I can't stand racism in stories for the sake of shock value, but I like authors intricately weaving in the subtle, problematic things that still are present in society, because: Yes, they're still a problem, and we desperately need to take care of them.</div>
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<i>99 Days</i> is a great noir story with a gripping mystery and an incredible study of a character wrestling with his past demons.</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great story, diverse cast, ticking clock done well, great characters, good art, great look into damaged psyche.</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Some horrendous gory stuff.</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$$ Definitely one of the best noir stories in the series and one of the best noir books I've read, period.</div>
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<b>BOOKS LIKE IT: </b><i>Wolverine Noir, Mr. Murder is Dead, Filthy Rich</i></div>
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<b>ONE-PAGE METAPHOR: </b>Antoine is driving out at night looking for clues to the killings, when he's pulled over. The officer is surprised to learn that Antoine is a detective. There's no big confrontation or demotion or yelling, Antoine just accepts that this racist slight as a normal occurrence. I love that the book acknowledges that even a black detective would get pulled over by the police.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-49777515793951047962014-08-20T21:28:00.001-04:002014-08-25T22:56:22.318-04:00Noir Comic Week: Area 10<div class="p1">
For Day 3 of super noir fun time comic happy hour, we're reviewing <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401210678/ref=s9_psimh_gw_p14_d1_i5?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1PQ6RAAA5MYRVQ8SBDP9&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1688200382&pf_rd_i=507846" target="_blank">Area 10</a></i> by Christos Gage and Chris Samnee!</div>
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Detective Adam Kamen is searching for a serial killer nicknamed Henry the 8th when he has a near death incident: A perp drives a screwdriver through his forehead. Six weeks later, he's all healed up and the killer resurfaces, but Adam has noticed some strange things. He'll uncover a terrifying conspiracy – all coming from the hole in his head.</div>
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<i>Area 10</i> is a really weird book. In a good way! It's got a lot in common with sci-fi thrillers: dealing with a weird conspiracy, an ancient cult that's obsessed with getting special powers, and powers that come from drilling holes in their foreheads. But it's also fun twisty, turn-y thriller that keeps you guessing the whole time: who IS the killer? Is it someone close to Adam? Is it Adam himself? And unlike a lot of crime thrillers, it manages to stick the landing. The ending is very satisfying.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibLOBrfoE9nXDi5-_kgke0LShyw-t22Yh3SnRbV9X48Vqp-1I1vtZER30XWyCAUy7HW1Jjq3G2Lyvtv81EAtP42vvrEwIcc2pjRVn6gHkapvgW5EnQwlbvHRC2Ub5hQi6ddB-76CmZtQRW/s1600/area1002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibLOBrfoE9nXDi5-_kgke0LShyw-t22Yh3SnRbV9X48Vqp-1I1vtZER30XWyCAUy7HW1Jjq3G2Lyvtv81EAtP42vvrEwIcc2pjRVn6gHkapvgW5EnQwlbvHRC2Ub5hQi6ddB-76CmZtQRW/s1600/area1002.jpg" height="320" width="171" /></a>This tale is par for the course as far as diversity goes. Main hero is a straight white guy. He has problems with his estranged wife and romantic dealings with the main female character, but it manages not to feel as strained as it could have been. He's not overly annoying as the straight white hero. Most of the story is concerned with finding the killer and figuring out the conspiracy rather than dealing with his white guy problems. The girl does wind up as damsel in distress and it's not as racially diverse as I'd like, so those are still two fouls in my point-keeping.</div>
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The art by Samnee is gorgeous. It's one of the few books in the series that's completely black and white, and it would up with some really well-designed pages. And because of its sci-fi origins, Samnee gets to play with some contrasting black and white effects. There's one scene in particular where Adam fights with the killer in the subway, but because of the killer's special powers, Adam only sees him as a completely white figure, and it's expertly done.</div>
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It's a well-crafted and well-paced story that makes you want to rush through until you've found finally solved the mystery. It's not as diverse or forward thinking as I'd like it to be, but it's a great story and a well-done noir.</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great art, great story, twisting turning plot that keeps you guessing, cool sci-fi premise, good ending.</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Not a diverse cast, damsel in distress.</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$ It's a pretty great story! One of the better noir books in the series. A really strange tale and a gripping thriller all in one beautifully dramatic package.</div>
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<b>BOOKS LIKE IT: </b><i>Tumor, Dark Entries, Nevermen, Un-Men</i></div>
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<b>ONE-PAGE METAPHOR: </b>Adam stops a robbery from happening when he sees a vision of the clerk dead. How did he do it? What's happening to him?</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-12929763040151283342014-08-19T20:31:00.002-04:002014-08-19T20:31:49.247-04:00Noir Comic Week: Fogtown<div class="p1">
For day 2 of Noir Comic Week, we're reviewing <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fogtown-Andersen-Gabrych/dp/1401213847/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408494619&sr=8-1&keywords=fogtown" target="_blank">Fogtown</a></i>, by Andersen Gabrych and Brad Rader!</div>
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Frank Grissel is a hard-boiled detective. After a young hooker turns up dead, he's paid to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. What he'll uncover could shake the city to its foundations, and reveal his true character.</div>
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This is easily the most offensive noir story of the bunch. If you really can't stand sexist, racist and homophobic language I'd recommend avoiding this one, because HOO BOY. Having said that, it's very interesting; it's smarter than it has any right to be, and in some cases manages to subvert common tropes.</div>
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It's <i>really</i> hard to get over the offensive stuff. Grissel ALONE is a problem. He goes to a gay bar and stirs up the place with some homophobic slurs, and regularly uses racial slurs against Asian people; really hard 50's old-fashioned racism. And there's a lot of stuff with young women being exploited for sex, and gay men, and transphobia – and it's all awful. This is a noir stories that makes you hate humanity. Oh, and I'm pretty sure a character gets raped and winds up dating their rapist at the end?? GROSS. It's pretty obviously trying to hit every possible offensive thing possible.</div>
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But then it does things you wouldn't expect that are, dare I say, cool. For instance, instead of having a post-coital bed scene with a half-naked lady splayed out, you get full frontal Frank Grissel! Just a full panel of chubby, hairy, old man parts lying there, unsexy-like. That's different. That’s daring. And I don't want to spoil anything because if you DO decide to try this book, it's a pretty big surprise, but Frank isn't exactly the typical tough guy noir detective you'd expect. He looks and feels like Marv from <i>Sin City</i>, and he can take one hell of a beating, but then – someone you don't expect. And it's AMAZING. Good on them for being diverse and including a perspective of someone you don't usually hear from, especially in the 50's.</div>
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However great that is, I don't know if that allows the book to get away with all of the offensive shit it features. I'm not sure people would enjoy that plot twist, considering most people wouldn’t get through, much less enjoy, the rest of the book. It has a level of depravity that a select few will find intriguing, and many others would find obscene.</div>
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I'd be remiss in saying I didn't enjoy Rader's art style. It's cartoony and gives feel reminiscent of classic 50's crime comics. The grey tones were nicely done. The writing itself is well done. The characters, however depraved they may be, have tons of flavor and you can never tell what motivations they have until it's too late. The plot is incredibly fucked up, but it's got a great twist.</div>
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If you like your noir <i>extra</i> filthy, then you'll probably enjoy this. If you can't get passed how offensive it is, and I completely understand why, it's best to look elsewhere.</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Good art, interesting twist on detective, twisting story, good characters.</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Really offensive all around, sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, rape, lots of gross stuff.</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$ I think it's really offensive, but I also think it's done well. And I also wonder if the entire book could be done the way it is while and still be so surprising if it wasn't offensive. It's hard to tell. But anyways, if you want your noir to show a better world, this is not the noir story for you.</div>
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<b>BOOKS LIKE IT: </b><i>Filthy Rich, Mr. Murder is Dead, You Have Killed Me, Sin City</i></div>
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>Frank is looking for a girl, so he goes to a club. In order to stir the pot, he says a phrase that manages to be racist, homophobic and misogynistic all in one go. He's obviously playing it up to get thrown out, but YEESH.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-68077573137106538502014-08-18T21:43:00.002-04:002014-08-19T13:48:29.268-04:00Noir Comic Week: Dark Entries<div class="p1">
I recently discovered the <span class="s1"><a href="http://www.comicvine.com/vertigo-crime/4045-56604/issues/" target="_blank">Vertigo Crime</a></span> book series! So, to celebrate, I'm having a NOIR COMIC WEEK VERTIGO CRIME GRAPHIC MYSTERY EXTRAVAGANZA! Or something. Five noir reviews in five days! First up, <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Entries-Vertigo-Crime-Rankin/dp/1401213863/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1408412280&sr=1-5&keywords=vertigo+crime" target="_blank">Dark Entries</a></i> by Ian Rankin and Werther Dell'edra!</div>
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"Haunted Mansion", a hit new reality TV show in which contestants are trapped in a house where they're subjected to scares, suddenly goes off the rails when contestants encounter things the TV crew didn't set up. The producer calls occult detective John Constantine to investigate, but the only way to find out what's happening is if he becomes a contestant himself!</div>
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This seems like a cheat since we're working with an already established-character instead of someone completely new and self-contained, but it's just so <i>good</i> I had to include it. Subsequently, this is the first book in the "Vertigo Crime" series I tried, and also my first Constantine story. I can't say how well it holds up to <i>Hellblazer</i>, but I can say this is an excellent noir comic.</div>
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The first thing that drew me to it is Dell'edera's incredible art. The inking has this rough messy style with plenty of blacks to give a great noir feeling. It's almost exclusively black and white with plenty of dramatic contrast. It's really beautiful, lively stuff. The monsters and demons are also really well-designed and appropriately creepy. What's really cool is when you look at the side of the book, halfway through the story, right when you find out what's happening, the pages all go from white gutters to full black bleeds. It's an incredible design, and really fits with the story. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGjOFU3ECPs_0AP_pC3a8dqG1ErxA2K5EN-QY3eWacfHvIrKAKDRSNUbQrF23pOjqdd5fPUZYnQ9kR6gOUtY7WZT0grXEGkCWPRRe-Ur0ZVVku6g7dLoJraT0HUD4dcw3v0gEb7qgxvM12/s1600/darkEntries02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGjOFU3ECPs_0AP_pC3a8dqG1ErxA2K5EN-QY3eWacfHvIrKAKDRSNUbQrF23pOjqdd5fPUZYnQ9kR6gOUtY7WZT0grXEGkCWPRRe-Ur0ZVVku6g7dLoJraT0HUD4dcw3v0gEb7qgxvM12/s1600/darkEntries02.jpg" height="320" width="136" /></a>Speaking of the story, the plot is filled with twists and turns. It's more of a noir-horror, with all the creepy things popping up in the haunted house. It's interesting seeing the contestants confronted with their greatest fears and how their personal stories unfold. It gets really wild. It's a book that makes you want to know what the hell is going on and then completely delivers on the premise. And it's got a pretty diverse cast of men and women, which is wonderful. The dialogue is well-written, with plenty of quips and cracks, and the characters are all interesting. It's also really fun if you like reality TV contest shows, or at least like making fun of them.</div>
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John Constantine fits well in the noir world. He's gruff and moody, he wears a trench-coat and smokes, he's a drunken wash-up who needs cash, and he narrates his own adventures. And it's nice to get a bisexual character as the main noir detective. That doesn't really come through in the story, but I’ll be dammed if I'm not gonna count it!</div>
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<i>Dark Entries</i> is one of the best stories in the Vertigo Crime series. If you like John Constantine or you like some horror with your noir, you'll enjoy this!</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great art, great writing, funny, creepy monster designs, good story, good graphic style, keeps you guessing, good ending.</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Not for people who like horror stuff I guess?</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$$ If you're looking for one of these to try, especially if you're already a Constantine fan, you can't go wrong with this. It's a fun story with a fantastic art style.</div>
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<b>BOOKS LIEK IT: </b><i>Hellblazer, Mysterious the Unfathomable, Hellcity, The Damned, Black Cherry</i></div>
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<b>ONE-PAGE METAPHOR: </b>When the producer comes to recruit Constantine for the job, he's appropriately sleazy and Constantine knows there's something creepy about him, but Constantine can't pass up the much-needed money. Some quips and jabs later and Constantine is in for the long haul.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-64554119776741014622014-08-15T19:46:00.002-04:002014-08-15T19:46:35.179-04:00Sketched Comic: The Midas Flesh<div class="p1">
Get out your golden fingers and velociraptor scientists, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.comixology.com/The-Midas-Flesh-1-of-8/digital-comic/60328" target="_blank">The Midas Flesh</a> </i>by Ryan North, Shelli Paroline, and Braden Lamb!</div>
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Joey, Cooper and Fatima are three revolutionaries looking for a way to overthrow the federation that has decimated, enslaved and ruled over their planets, respectively. Their only hope lies in a secret planet made completely out of gold. Like the Midas of lore, this planet has the ability to turn anything and anyone who touches it into solid gold. Can they investigate and harvest this ancient weapon? </div>
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I feel that this is a pretty important comic and not enough people are talking about it. It is a REALY GOOD, TOP-NOTCH comic. Really well-written, great art, cool concept – but that's not what's so important about it, or why more people should be talking about it. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg90SP_fTRt39wCOGRTDuwRrHKLSrry6JfeWTyJLgQGsw5Rv4Cp9L-vn_lbwN31WRcoDWOvQAHNRPLLfXfwTw-Yx_jDwn8xYjHnZlPZ9XSHTEhIjB_4Ta2Qt_bmzgYUp48HKHesfmgu7BNo/s1600/midas02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg90SP_fTRt39wCOGRTDuwRrHKLSrry6JfeWTyJLgQGsw5Rv4Cp9L-vn_lbwN31WRcoDWOvQAHNRPLLfXfwTw-Yx_jDwn8xYjHnZlPZ9XSHTEhIjB_4Ta2Qt_bmzgYUp48HKHesfmgu7BNo/s1600/midas02.jpg" height="320" width="151" /></a>So why’s it important? Why’s it so amazing? This is a comic with a serious story and some messed-up stuff going on – we’re talking murder and genocide here – but it's built as an all-ages comic. It's amazing! It has zero swearing! The worst verbal offenses are "jerk" and "bag of poop." Do you know how many not-very-good comics I read that try to be "mature" and "serious" but still use "bitch" literally one million times? Too many! And here they have genuinely complex storylines and dialogues and find a way to make it accessible to all readers. That's incredible! And it's not just the language; it's the tone of the piece. The characters might be dealing with some heavy, serious stuff, but they always have a good time talking to each other and never pass up an opportunity to make a dumb joke, like friends do. In the hands of a lesser creative team, this would be filled with somber angsty characters who hate each other and use one another and are just all around jerks because they're dealing with SERIOUS STUFF. But the characters here manage to keep up a light mood, even in the face of possible death.</div>
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It reminds me a lot of <i>Adventure Time</i>, which shouldn't be a surprise since it's written by Ryan North, who regularly writes for <i>Adventure Time</i>. <i>Adventure Time</i> usually wraps complex existential stories in seemingly simple narratives, but in <i>Midas Flesh</i>, the main characters are dealing with some complex plot stuff right there on the surface. They have to deal with big issues like using weapons of mass destruction on the enemy even if that means hurting civilians; giving your enemies a second chance; not using weapons to keep everyone else from using them; and sacrificing oneself in the name of the mission. It – well, it can get really intense and science-y and a tad political, but that in no way detracts from the experience. </div>
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Partnered with the lighter tone is a simple, cartoon-y art style, executed beautifully by Lamb and Paroline. It lends itself well to fast-paced action scenes and really simple storytelling. You'll dig it if, like me, you're tired of your sci-fi books always having a super realistic look. Everything is very well designed, with crazy looking future technology and really solid coloring. Plus, one of the main characters is a velociraptor! Who talks and does science! And sometimes has a jetpack and shoots stuff!</div>
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Oh man! I haven't even gotten to the diverse cast! There are two women (one of which is a person of color that always wears a hijab) and a talking dinosaur. That's your main cast. Also, sometimes a slug alien joins them. That's fantastic! That is as diverse a cast for a sci-fi adventure as I could ever ask for. Why not two woman and a talking dinosaur?? I'm excited. I'm super excited. Isn't that exciting?! And they're pretty well-written! They don't go much into all of their backstory because it's a short series that's really only concerned with the story at hand, but their dialogue is great, they sound natural, they each feel like they have their own voice, and they never have to prove why women ARE good for the job. Yes yes yes.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdbbv3-vWFCpY9EDBt3QFAYKmqQS8Cu9TYnqhpMQLb84bA-WqJlZ1kQpfLsVJze4Ga2EhzdRzINII3pmRyyXod64VazlM17j9HryOrWCDZOUcbqeWVDyOIw0ubFoTTsk2lvZqdzT8LeQpb/s1600/midas03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdbbv3-vWFCpY9EDBt3QFAYKmqQS8Cu9TYnqhpMQLb84bA-WqJlZ1kQpfLsVJze4Ga2EhzdRzINII3pmRyyXod64VazlM17j9HryOrWCDZOUcbqeWVDyOIw0ubFoTTsk2lvZqdzT8LeQpb/s1600/midas03.jpg" height="320" width="189" /></a>The story premise is both horrifying and amazing. It takes the classic story of Midas but adds a terrifying twist: he's granted his wish, so everything he touches turns to gold. But this happens literally and instantaneously. His clothes turn to gold, the ground beneath his feet turns to gold, everything touching gold turns to gold, the air around him turns to gold – you get the picture. Pretty soon, the entire planet is solid gold. It's a really interesting premise, and it only gets bigger and more interesting once our crew figures out how to take the body and weaponize it. Things start out crazy and just snowball into insanity until OH GOD EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE AAAHH. It's pretty great. Some people may have trouble with the fantastical ending after the whole of the comic has been pretty scientific up to that point, but considering it started with a wish being magically granted, I don’t take any issue with it. </div>
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It's a really good comic. It’s really well-written with an engaging story that will not let you take a break. You'll want to finish it as soon as you start. And luckily, now all eight issues are out! So you can go right out and pick one up. Pick them all up, even!</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Fun cartoony art, great coloring, great story, interesting premise, diverse cast, talking dinosaur, well-written, fun light-hearted tone with complex compelling plot.</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>???</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$$ It's a fantastic book with a diverse cast and a fun story. Go pick it up! Read it! Tell your friends about it!</div>
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<b>COMICS LIKE IT: </b><i>We Can Fix It, Adventure Time, Bravest Warriors, The Overman, Runaways </i></div>
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<b>ONE-PAGE METAPHOR:</b> There is a flashback scene. Fatima, Cooper and Joey are talking about how they could go about finding a super-weapon to overthrow the oppressive Federation. Instead of being moody and shouting about it, they're drinking wine and joking. And then they take a selfie as they happily build the ship. The ship to find a weapon of mass destruction that could potentially kill billions.</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-29637674293186005422014-08-13T16:52:00.001-04:002014-08-13T16:52:12.678-04:00Sketched TV: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles<div class="p1">
Get out your Sais and nun chucks; we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK8EOD9buLc" target="_blank">Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles</a></i>!</div>
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Splinter (Hoon Lee) has raised his four turtle sons, Leonardo (Jason Biggs), Donatello (Rob Paulsen), Michelangelo (Greg Cipes) and Raphael (Sean Astin) to be highly trained in ninjitsu, and now it's finally time for them to go out into the world. They befriend a teenage human girl named April (Mae Whitman) and help her rescue her father from a new alien menace. Can they survive the human world and stop both the Kraang (Nolan North) and the mysterious Shredder (Kevin Michael Richardson) before they wreak havoc?</div>
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Oh, wait, did you think I was going to review the new <span class="s1"><a href="http://io9.com/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-the-spoiler-faq-1620285587" target="_blank">Michael Bay movie</a></span>? Oh.</div>
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Ha. Haha.</div>
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HAAAaaaa.</div>
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Yeah, no. We're going to talk about something from the <i>TMNT</i> franchise that I know is ACTUALLY GOOD. AMAZING, in fact!</div>
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Check your nostalgia at the door, because there are a lot of changes compared to the original cartoon everyone loves. Mostly good changes! And honestly, if they <i>had</i> kept everything the same from the original cartoon, what would be the point? Why wouldn't you just watch the original cartoon instead? Anyways, in this updated CGI version, the turtles are younger and feel like actual teens, somewhere between 13 and 18. April O'Neil and Casey Jones are also younger, which, makes sense. Y'know, since the turtles are also teenagers. You wouldn't want a grown woman gallivanting around with a bunch of underage mutant boys, right? That would just be <i>weird</i>, man.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmT9QO3VeGNPRKnICXlRYvwdpHKOBakdnHmNF7itbIxSI8xXLOIE0UGhpnjmSDcDt9EcFGNj537zQlSUlACQ4IkgRnAUqthzly85_sVlsH4iOxkQVtmnXOF4tf0Qtdo-TNcKVhIlqe5ofh/s1600/tmnt02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmT9QO3VeGNPRKnICXlRYvwdpHKOBakdnHmNF7itbIxSI8xXLOIE0UGhpnjmSDcDt9EcFGNj537zQlSUlACQ4IkgRnAUqthzly85_sVlsH4iOxkQVtmnXOF4tf0Qtdo-TNcKVhIlqe5ofh/s1600/tmnt02.jpg" height="320" width="144" /></a>The younger ages work, too! They're all (pre)teens and the dynamic is both entertaining and humorous. It even comes complete with random chibi faces. The turtles are moody teens obsessed with cartoons and videogames and dumb teenager catchphrases like "high-three!" Because they have three fingers, on account of being mutant turtles! WHATEVER! IT'S AMAZING. It's a goofy kids’ show that feels like it's made for kids (UNLIKE A CERTAIN MOVIE) but still has plenty of great fighting and animation for older audiences to enjoy.</div>
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What I love about the new show so much is how fully-realized the personalities of the turtle brothers are. You can easily tell them apart, even without their color-coded masks. It's even in the character designs. For example, Donny is supposed to be “nerdy,” so he has a gap in his teeth, and Raph is the angsty bruiser, so he's the only one with a crack in his shell. The group dynamics work so well with each other! Leo and Raph are the strongest and butt heads fairly regularly. Raph bullies Donny a little. Everyone thinks Mikey is annoying. But all in a brotherly way! I've never really liked Leo, since he's always been the boring leader, but here he has a compelling drive to further his studies and keep his brothers together. And he's also obsessed with a Star Trek rip-off cartoon, which I find hilarious. Mikey could easily be seen as a screw-up; the most useless of the team. But even he proves himself a formidable ninja warrior. He still goofs off like crazy, but every once in a while he's got a good idea, and he's the best at naming stuff, which is adorable.</div>
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Another fun shift: they change the villains up. Instead of one brain in the stomach of a robot named Kraang, it's a whole alien race of brains running around in robot avatars doing weird experiments and trying to take over the world! There are a lot of episodes that have a monster-of-the-week feel, with new monsters like Dogpound, Fishface, Snakeweed and Tiger Claw. There are a LOT of robots and monsters and alien mutants fighting ninjas. Y’know, if that's your sort of thing.</div>
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The look of the show is incredibly cool. It's 3D, but it’s cel-shaded to create a cartoon look. It’s also highly stylized. Like <i>Kung Fu Panda</i>, it's interspersed with flashbacks and exposition dumps in the form of 2D comic book/cartoon sequences, and even has regular animated comic effects – sound effects and action lines – embellishing simple actions. It really is gorgeous. It's very reminiscent of the recent <i>Clone Wars</i> cartoon where they had clean, simple, effective designs and beautifully rendered textures. The new monsters’ designs are super cool. And the fight sequences are <i>amazing</i>. They're incredibly well-animated and use some stylistic graphic splashes (like splitting the screen four ways or showing sounds as visual words). They turn the turtles' eyes completely white and it makes them looks infinitely more kick-butt. And they get to use their ninja weapons in cool (new) ways! They even added a chained blade to Mikey's nun chucks and gave Donny a retractable blade staff. Each episode ends in a freeze frame that turns into a comic page, and the opening is a ton of fun to watch. Well, the song is cheesy but that's par for the course with kids’ shows. (Also, pizza? Yeah, I did it)</div>
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I like this version of April SO much. She seems significantly more fleshed out than some other versions of her character, and she sometimes gets to do kung fu and stuff. It’s an imporovement that she's only a damsel in distress sometimes, though it would have been great to skip that whole trope entirely. At least they also bring Karai into the show. She’s a badass ninja assassin and Shredder's daughter? But both girls are minor characters. We’re still looking at a cartoon that generally has 5 or 6 male characters in any one episode, possibly more, and I know they're trying to stick to the classics, and it's already crowded with so many characters – but they COULD bring in some more female representation. April even has a lady friend (played by Kate Micucci!!!) who barely gets any screen time. I know that <span class="s1"><i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7JTJL0Ykt8" target="_blank">The Next Mutation</a></i></span> is treated like the red-headed step-child, but at least they tried to crank up the diversity with Venus, the fifth turtle. Maybe we can bring in someone like her? But like, name her after a female artist instead of a work of art so that she's not literally an object? Also, I'm glad there's a lot of representation of people of color in the voice cast and cast of characters. Good on them.</div>
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I'm continually surprised at the incredible voice cast they have. All the voice-actors for the turtles are spot-on for their roles, which is weird because you wouldn't picture <span class="s1">Jason Biggs</span> and <span class="s1">Sean Astin</span> as turtles, but here we are. Some classic voice actors like Phil LaMarr as Baxter Stockman, Clancy Brown as Dogpound, and Jeffery Combs as the Rat King are in the cast, too. And then there are even crazier casting choices like Roseanne Baer as Kraang Prime, Lewis Black as Spider Bytez and Danny Trejo as Newtralizer! How?? What?! That's insane! A fun game to play is to watch an episode then IMDB it to see who the hell voiced who or what. They're all incredible and melt seamlessly into their respective parts.</div>
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So yeah, you should check out the new <i>TMNT </i>cartoon. It's hilarious, amusing, incredibly well designed, and well-cast. There are two seasons out already, go watch it!</div>
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great designs, great fight scenes, great animation, great voice cast, fun and silly, great characters, lots of cool stuff kids and fans will like.</div>
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Could use some more representation (more girls!), and try to avoid old tropes.</div>
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$$ It's a great kids’ show that's goofy, fun, and exciting to watch! If you enjoy <i>TMNT</i>, crazy action and goofy cartoons, you'll get a kick out of this. You should be able to find it on streaming services and DVD/Blu-Ray. Although, man I wish they had called this series something else so it was easier to search for.</div>
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<b>TV SHOWS LIKE IT: </b><i>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles </i>(classic), <i>Star Wars: Clone Wars, Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness, Teen Titans, Teen Titans Go</i></div>
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>One episode involves Raph facing his fears with Cockroaches while fighting a giant mutant cockroach terminator named Spyroach. I mean, what more do you want from a cartoon??</div>
The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-19523320607292144982014-08-08T18:59:00.000-04:002014-08-08T18:59:02.799-04:00Sketched Comic: Five GhostsGet out your cutlass and psychic projections, we're reviewing <a href="https://www.comixology.com/Five-Ghosts-Vol-1-The-Haunting-of-Fabian-Gray/digital-comic/47388" target="_blank"><i>Five Ghosts</i> Vol 1</a>, by Frank J. Barbiere and Chris Mooneyham!<br />
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Fabian Gray has the power to recall the memories and experiences of five literary heroes: the detective, the vampire, the wizard, the archer, and the samurai. With that and the help of his brother-in-law, Sebastian, he'll need to find a way to get a handle on his powers and wake his sister from a deep coma!<br />
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I've been wanting to talk about this book for awhile, because it's one of those books where I want to love it, but part of it keeps me from doing so. It's a generally great book, or it would be if for a couple of fatal flaws.<br />
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First of all, the premise is really cool. I can totally get behind the idea of a someone having five other people in their head, all of which are famous literary characters that can be brought up to use special powers. It sounds awesome, like some sort of videogame. It's a cool gimmick. And it takes place around the 40's leading to some beautiful environments. It is very reminiscent of classic pulp adventure tales like Indiana Jones or Doc Savage.<br />
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And the art! The art is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. I wanted to pick this book up on its art alone. While the story and time period takes a lot of nods from 30's and 40's pulp, the art style is reminiscent of the dirty, messy 80's. You might be mistaken for thinking this book was done by classic Frank Miller(in more ways than one, unfortunately). Mooneyham's got this beautiful classic inking style that uses plenty of dry brush and splatter and <i>just</i> the right amount of black on the page to make it look contrasted and a bit noiry. I love the way the shadows wrap around the characters, seemingly engulfing them in black. And it helps that colorists Lauren Affe and S.M. Vidaurri have these super vibrant but still classic colors. They really set the mood. They're perfect in dream sequences, flashbacks or especially explosive shots that have these crazy purples and yellows. Like I said, it's a gorgeous book.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCaRA7ULeMB3JEJiemYqOGpZ7zTIX1DKAPmiGXOkdvJlr-Vev8ZveRg-9_XJ4ezLL24DBggTeh01vXDhieOxyk5N4zqukO8gvPEZ02wcagcLivvV9L8qB17R_KBRsit-SarxKnD90AmFub/s1600/5ghosts02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCaRA7ULeMB3JEJiemYqOGpZ7zTIX1DKAPmiGXOkdvJlr-Vev8ZveRg-9_XJ4ezLL24DBggTeh01vXDhieOxyk5N4zqukO8gvPEZ02wcagcLivvV9L8qB17R_KBRsit-SarxKnD90AmFub/s1600/5ghosts02.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a>But here's my beef with it: It's a book that's set in the 40's that feels like it's written in the 40's. It is not diverse at all. Which in some pulp adventure books with a classic male adventurer I might not have that big a problem with, or even if I thought the main character could be a woman, it might not have hurt the book. The difference here is that, with Fabian's Gimmick of recalling 5 different personalities, there are effectively 7 characters on their good guy team, none of which are women. Sure there ARE women in the story. There's Fabian's sister, who's a comatose damsel in distress. There's the woman Fabian sleeps with in the beginning that gets killed by the bad guy to show how bad he is. There's all the servants of their pal, Zhang Guo, who fan him in cheesecake poses and then get taken over by evil spirits and have to be killed. That's it. Those are your female roles. What the hell?!<br />
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How much easier could it have been to make Sebastian a woman and instead their saving Fabian's brother? How easy would it have been to make any of those five ghost characters a woman? Or two? I know they're supposed to stand in for famous literary icons like Merlin and Sherlock Holmes, but listen here: You can't honestly tell me that it <i>wouldn't </i>be more interesting if you'd exchange Sherlock Holmes for Nancy Drew. That could even go into some really cool territory like, maybe Fabian now has trouble around really hot college dudes in glasses! Or change out Merlin for Morgan Le Fey? You already have one evil character in the vampire, would it really be that big of a deal to make him a woman instead? Would it really hurt the story THAT MUCH to have a woman's point of view in his head?? Come to think of it, if he had a sexy femme fatale as one of the ghosts, could he seduce straight men or just gay men? Do you see the interesting story options you're cutting off by not making this team more diverse??<br />
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While we're at it, why NOT make the main character the sister instead? Just doing that changes so many dynamics. In fact, it would be a great subversion of classic tropes if you started off in a flashback and you think the brother is going to be the classic swashbuckling hero but then BAM he gets damsel-in-distressed and it's up to the sister to save him! How interesting would it be to have all those dude ghosts in her brain? How would that conflict with her being a woman in a man's world but having the intellect and (probably backwards thinking) views of classical male story archetypes? Already this is a more engaging and interesting story dynamic.<br />
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Also, it has some SERIOUS racial issues. For one, only one of those seven is a person of color, and that's because they couldn't make the Samurai a white guy. And that's...kind of problematic in itself. They do have some other Asian characters but they're kinda stereotypical and also problematic. Like why does Zhang Guo look like a hun before he finds his magical stone and then a Chinese monk after? That's a little weird, right? I guess it doesn't matter since he gets killed 2 issues later for REASONS. Also, we have to talk about the fact that the only black characters in this are mutated spider-savages that don't speak and try to kill the white protagonists and sacrifice them to their god. Sure, mutated spider-savages are cool but that is the kind of inherently racist shit that keeps people from reading classic pulp comics. Like really, <i>Five Ghosts</i>? <i>Really?</i> You couldn't have maybe <i>one</i> more black main character that wasn't a native? why couldn't Sebastian be black? Why couldn't one of the five ghosts be black? If you're saying that they needed to be famous literary characters and there weren't any classic black literary characters at that time(there definitely were), 1) stop being racist and get your head out of your ass, 2) IT IS A FICTION BOOK. A FANTASY. MAKE SOME UP. How is it that creators make stories involving dragons and supernatural powers(all in this book)and the inherent racism of the time is the only thing they keep true to the time period??<br />
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From the last couple of paragraphs you might think I loathed the book and think the creators are racist and misogynistic. That's not what I think. I really <i>really</i> like the book and want to love it, but the misogynistic and racist issues keep me from truly embracing it. I think the book itself is misogynistic, but I don't think the creators are. I mean they could be, but I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. I think what happened is they wanted to make this classic pulp story and they used all the material and examples from classic pulp stories and didn't realize how problematic the story was. That can happen when you're a straight white dude and you grow up in a society where all the media you ingest are only about straight white dudes. What do you think happens when straight white dudes only read stories about straight white dudes? They make more stories about straight white dudes! This is why it's so important to make books and comics and all kinds of media more diverse, so we don't get another generation of this. So the NEXT generation can grow up and make stories and don't think it's inaccurate that half the cast of their stories are people of color and women and people of different sexual orientations etc. I'm not writing this review because I hate the book and want the sales to go down. I'm writing it because I want the creators to know their book is problematic and they need to make some changes ASAP before I read any more issues or recommend it to anyone.<br />
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<i>Five Ghosts</i> has a killer premise and some beautiful art, but until it changes these super problematic issues, I can't seem myself picking up another issue or trade paperback.<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great premise, beautiful art, beautiful inking style and colors, looks like classic stories.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Not diverse enough, women are damsels in distress or objects to be sexed and killed off, black savages.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$ This should be a five star book. Maybe you can like it. But I can't in good conscious recommend it. It's a painfully beautiful book, but the racial and misogynistic issues really drag it down.<br />
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<b>BOOKS LIKE IT: </b><i>Satellite Sam, Iron Man: Noir, Noir, Doc Savage</i><br />
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<b>ONE-PAGE METAPHOR: </b>The flashback to Fabian and his sister growing up and being swashbuckling adventurer treasure hunters is really well-done and beautiful in every way, but I can't help thinking I'd rather SHE be the main character with Fabian in a coma. I mean Fabian looks like a classic pulp hero, but his sister has the same abilities AND she's got green eyes and a white streak through her hair. She's already cooler than Fabian!The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-24886451584978458822014-08-06T14:04:00.003-04:002014-08-08T21:01:46.520-04:00Guardians of the GalaxyGet out your Infinity Stones and cassette tapes, we're reviewing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crIaEzXgqto" target="_blank"><i>Guardians of the Galaxy</i>!</a><br />
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Peter Quill(Chris Prat), a thief, Gamora(Zoe Saldana), an assassin, Drax(Dave Bautista) a warrior, Rocket(Bradlet Cooper), a bounty hunter, and Groot(Vin Diesel), his thug companion, all want to make a big score. But when they find out that what they have is a weapon wanted by Ronan the Accuser(Lee Pace), they have to band together to help save the galaxy.<br />
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Well that's a fine movie ya got there.<br />
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It's really weird that I'd feel more comfortable taking a child to see <i>Guardians of the Galaxy</i>, what should be an adult film with sex jokes and creative swearing, more than I would <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/07/transformers-age-of-extinction.html" target="_blank">Transformers 4</a></i>, a movie that advertises and sells toys to small children. Sure, they both have the same rating, but at least <i>Guardians </i>doesn't say the word 'fuck'. Of course it's not just the language, it's the overall tone of friendship and camaraderie and just general fun.<br />
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<i>Guardians of the Galaxy</i> is fantastic. I LOVE this movie. It's so good on so many levels. It's very comparable to <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2012/05/avengers.html" target="_blank">The Avengers</a></i>: Simple story, great dialogue, great characters, great action, all kinds of fun. Like <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/04/captain-america-winter-soldier.html" target="_blank">The Winter Soldier</a>,</i> it feels technically better than <i>Avengers</i> but I don't know if it has any particular moments better than those found in <i>Avengers</i>.<br />
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For one thing, in <i>The Avengers</i>, it seemed kind of contrived that all the heroes fight and then work together as a team. I mean that's what they do on team books, that's how these things get started, but even then it was stretching believability. But in <i>Guardians</i>, it feels natural and makes sense. They're all terrible people and criminals, so OF COURSE they want to kill each other. And it's so rewarding and works so well as a satisfying arc when they finally do kind of like each other and work as a team.<br />
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The dialogue is so great in here. SO GREAT. This is easily the most quotable Marvel movie since <i>Avengers</i>. It's all so funny and well-written and <i>fun. </i>It's a really fun movie. I can't spoil any of the lines but expect to hear "I am Groot" a few more million times. They're also all perfect in their parts. It's so well acted you forget Groot and Rocket are purely CGI creations that the other actors are just talking to green puppets. That's a feat in itself.<br />
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Chris Pratt is perfect because he's a goofball and just a bit of a sleaze. With the wrong actor or the wrong writer, he might have come off as a total asshole, but here he's...well still kind of a dick, but we're not supposed to think he's cool for it, and he's kind of adorable. I mean, he starts the movie off by dancing to his 80's cassette player. It's so SO great. Zoe Saldana is great as Gamora, though she doesn't seem to get as much backstory as the other male characters. She does get some dialogue with her cyborg sister, Nebula, and a pretty good fight scene. Bautista is the breakout star, as he's perfect for the very literal Drax. And then there's Rocket and Groot who will make you sob big ugly tears. The movie has a HUGE cast and they're all great. Lee Pace reverberates as Ronan, John C. Reilly is fun as a Nova corps cop, Michael Rooker is fantastic as Yondu, and Karen Gillan is incredibly badass as Nebula.<br />
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The action, like the rest of the movie, is amazing and super fun. Pretty much everything you'd want in a sci-fi space opera. A space prison breakout, tons of pew pew lasers, ship to ship battles, hand to hand alien monster combat, so much fun stuff that all looks fantastic. Groot is easily the most to watch as he grows and uses his branches for interesting new uses and then punches dudes with his big tree limbs. And then there's little things you don't expect, like Yondu's secret whistling weapon. So many cool things going on! The coloring on the movie is wild and beautiful, and the soundtrack is fantastic. It's basically the best of the 80's and 70's, but man does it ever fit perfectly. The 3D is pretty good too.<br />
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There were a few things that got to me. One thing that really stuck out, was Drax calling Gamora a whore, which, doesn't really make sense on any level? His whole thing is that he's literal in everything he says, and Gamora isn't a sex worker, so that has to be lazy writing just to contrast when he blasts someone else for badmouthing Gamora right after. That's a shame because it would have had more of an impact if it wasn't there at all. There's a couple of little things like that that didn't need to be there. This is a marvel movie that passes the bechdel test, with an alright number of female side characters throughout. But, it's still one female character out of a group of five. There's no saying it couldn't have gone a bit further. And hey, I don't want to spoil anything, but I'm glad that there doesn't turn out to be a romantic relationship between Quill and Gamora. That's refreshing. This is a more racially diverse Marvel movie than most. In the movie, there's only one straight white guy on their group of aliens, and considering Saldana, Diesel and Bautista, they have three people of color in their group. That's exciting! Other than that thing with Drax there wasn't anything that was so terrible it kept me from enjoying the movie.<br />
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So yeah, it's a great movie. Can't wait for the sequel. I'm just gonna go ahead and say you should probably see this instead of that <i>Ninja Turtles</i> reboot probably. Jus' Sayin.<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great action, great characters, great cast, hilarious, great dialogue, great effects, great story, friendship is great.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Some misogynistic language and situations that aren't needed<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$$ Go see it! Multiple times! You will definitely enjoy this over and over again and quote all of the lines forever.<br />
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Star Wars, Flash Gordon, Space Balls, The Avengers, The A Team</i><br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>Quill keeps trying to tell Drax metaphors, but Rocket explains that his people are literal and metaphors would fly over his head. Drax says, "Nothing flies over my head. My reflexes are too quick. I would catch it." Oh Drax.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-15603766431582687622014-08-01T19:42:00.003-04:002014-08-01T19:42:39.967-04:00Sketched Comic: Young AvengersGet out your Bacon and laser bows, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.comixology.com/Young-Avengers-2013-1/digital-comic/34625" target="_blank">Young Avengers</a></i> by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie!<br />
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Wiccan is in a relationship with Hulkling, and he feels bad that Hulking's mother is gone. So with his powers, he looks through the countless Marvel multiverses and finds one where his mother was about to die and pulls her out. But when he does, he pulls out something wrong. Now Wiccan and Hulking, along with other young heroes including Marvel Boy, Hawkeye(Kate Bishop), Prodigy, Ms. America and even Kid Loki will have to pull together to get this Mother out of their universe!<br />
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Holy crap, what a fantastically written, beautiful and inclusive book. Right now there's three separate volumes, but since the run has recently ended and there's only 15 issues, and it's basically one connected story, I feel fine reviewing the whole thing. If you happen to get all three volumes, you'll breeze right through them, but even so, just getting the first issue will get you hooked!<br />
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What I love most about this series is how inclusive it is. It's hella diverse. HELLA. I think the last mainstream team superhero book I read that was this inclusive was <i>Runaways</i>(which by the way you should ALSO definitely be on top of). There are gay characters, women, bi, alien, black, spanish, I don't think there's a single straight white dude on the team! Kate Bishop even makes a joke, "Wait, am I the only straight person on this team?" Which is FANTASTIC. And it's even better that they're a group of teenagers trying to figure out RELATIONSHIPS and LIFE and they're all kind of damaged in their own way, as teenagers do.<br />
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But in case you think it's going to get grimdark, the book is a metric BUTT-ton of fun. All the characters really like each other(accept Loki, no one likes him) and all play off each other really well and talk about smooching all the dang time. They go to another dimension that has the best breakfast diner. They have a whole page that's an Instagram parody! Each book is recapped with the "story thus far" as a mock tumblr page, complete with fake screen-names like "unimpressed_bouncer" and "IfYouLikeItPutABunOnIt" and fake trending hashtags like "Ameri-Moms" and "TO DA CLUB". It's a hoot. It's the kind of book that does different creator title pages in fun and inventive ways, like making the page look like a breakfast menu, and describing all the creators as breakfast dishes. It's a fun book that will make you LOL and LMAO and all those things the kids these days say.<br />
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It's also a really gorgeous book. I'm not in love with the art because it's more realistic than I usually like, but there are some legitimate gorgeous panels here. It's probably not a book I'd pick up from it's art style alone, but its gorgeously put together and the way its done just fits. I really like how McKelvie draws teenagers in this simple innocent playful kind of way. Plus, Mathew Wilson's colors are vibrant and full of life. It fits. Along with the great joke pages, there's a lot of interesting things they do with layout while describing action or even doing exposition. There's one page in which Prodigy is discussing his backstory and the page is made to look like his head. Action scenes are also expertly done and are fun and exciting to read.<br />
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There's also a ton of meta-humor(my kryptonite) with the main villain, Mother. She comes from another dimension of her own making, which generally looks like unfinished comic pages. When the gang are running through her world, it looks like their actually hiding under and running through comic panels. And then Mother takes a bit of a word bubble. There's tons of crazy stuff you'll get a kick out of if you like the crazier superhero stuff like <i>Nextwave</i>.<br />
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The writing is marvelously well done. Not just in that it's a compelling story, but that these <i>feel</i> like real teenagers with relatable teenage problems. Sure, you wouldn't expect to empathize with a shapeshifting alien who usually takes the form of the hulk, but I think a lot of kids(or people, or myself) can get his fear that his love for his partner isn't real and there's something else causing him to feel this way. And then there's Prodigy (who is super cool and there generally isn't enough of) who has a really interesting coming out tale of being bi-sexual. This kind of stuff is important for kids growing up and trying to figure out who they are, and it's ESPECIALLY important for kids and people who don't feel like they're represented enough in comics.<br />
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The only real downside of <i>Young Avengers</i> is that there's not enough of it. The run is over, there's only 15 issues, and while they're all fun and great, it's a fast 15 issues. I want, no, I NEED MORE. Even in the story, it takes place over months, and you feel like they're rushing through adventures where normal comics may have a fluff issue or two. The stories are great, but I could easily see this being expanded into 30 or 40 issues, or hey maybe 3 or 4 seasons of a cartoon?? Huh? HUH??? Well, anyways, it's a really great book firing on all cylinders and you should definitely pick it up.<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Super diverse, beautiful art, fun book, funny, great writing, great dialogue, great story, cool characters and fight scenes, teenagers feel real but also have fun.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Not nearly enough<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$$ GO PICK IT UP DO IT NOW! You can buy the three volumes in trade paperback or single issues on comixology, it's just a great fun inclusive superhero comic. Go read it, and then go demand that other people read it and THEN go demand of the big publishers that you want more books like it.<br />
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<b>BOOKS LIKE IT: </b><i>The Wicked + The Divine, Runaways, Morning Glories, Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel, Superhero Girl, Nextwave</i><br />
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<b>ONE-PAGE METAPHOR: </b>The first issue starts with Kate Bishop waking up in Marvel Boy's room in a space station floating above the earth. It's from a woman's point of view, it's sex-positive and then there's pew pew laser shooting aliens. It's basically everything you could want from a book in the first few pages of an AMAZING run.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-49507572904407470132014-07-30T13:27:00.001-04:002014-07-30T13:27:35.569-04:00Hercules Get out your bone whips and lion hats, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwlynHlZEc4" target="_blank">Hercules</a></i>!<br />
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The legendary Hercules(Dwayne Johnson) and his posse of warriors are hired by the king of Grace, Lord Coyts(John Hurt) to save their city from the tyrant warlord Rhesus(Tobias Stantlemann), who's said to be a sorcerer leading an army of Centaurs. Can Hercules live up to the legends that precede him?<br />
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This movie is GREAT. It's better than I ever could have expected, though I wasn't expecting much. And if you don't want to be spoiled at all, stop reading and just go watch the movie. I'm going to have to <i>slightly</i> spoil the movie to talk about it. Granted, this comes in at like five minutes after the opening credits and knowing what's happening probably won't spoil the fun, but if you want to be COMPLETELY surprised by the movie, here's your SPOILER WARNING.<br />
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So the main thrust of the movie is that in this version, Hercules isn't actually the fabled demigod son of Zeus with super strength and unbreakable skin who defeated 12 monsters, he's really just a super beefy mercenary with a well-put together team. He and his team just made those stories up to put the fear of the gods in his enemies and make the killing that much easier. And that is...pretty fucking amazing as a story premise. It's not just, "this is the REAL story of Hercules that everyone got wrong", this is a group of cunning warriors living in a time when people don't know what's real and what's myth and using that to their advantage. That seven-headed Hydra that Hercules slew himself? Well, it was actually a group of guys in serpent helmets that he and his team took out. Herc and his crew are somewhere between a superhero team and a traveling magician's act. It's fantastic.<br />
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And what's better is that even Hercules and his team <i>also </i>don't know fact from fiction. They know all the stuff they've done is bogus, but considering the world they live in, they COULD be fighting monsters or magicians or three-headed demon dogs from hell, how can they be sure? Are they <i>really</i> fighting a magician who's mastered the dark arts and commands an army of centaurs, or are they just fighting a guy who's got great military training and is using all the same tricks he's using? And considering how we look back at greek mythology and movies like this, the audience is half expecting the real Zeus to show up around a corner any minute. Their seer, Amphiaraus(played hilariously by Ian McShane), is usually strung out of his mind, but even <i>he</i> gets some oddly specific prophecies right. Who's to say he and Herc aren't the real deal? It's a fun premise and I'd love to see a new TV series with Hercules and his motley crew taking on "legendary" threats that happen to be pretty normal problems.<br />
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Even when you get past the great premise, you still have a super fun-to-watch action movie. There's a ton of action, and it's all really great greek fighting stuff. Swords and shields and arrows flyin' into dudes type-stuff. Plus, there's a lot of newish stylish technology like you'd see in <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2013/01/hansel-and-gretel-witch-hunters.html" target="_blank">Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters</a></i>, like Ergenia's blade bow, or Amphiaraus' blade staff with spring-loaded cross blades, or their tricked-out horse chariot(with blades), or one guy using a bone whip! What the what?? And there's Autolycus throwing daggers everywhere, and Hercules himself straight-up smashin' dudes with his giant club, tons of fun stuff. It is SO much action-packed fun. And what's super fun is seeing all the cool ways they use their fun tools to make Hercules look like the real legend. Did Herc really take out 7 pirates with one blow, or did those dudes get daggered in the throat before anyone could notice?<br />
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Now I want to talk about the representation of women. It's...surprisingly not as bad as it could have been! But then it also could have been better. I don't think it's terrible(certainly not as bad as the last <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/03/300-rise-of-empire.html" target="_blank">300</a></i> movie or the awful <a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2011/08/conan-barbarian.html" target="_blank"><i>Conan</i> remake</a>), and there's a lot of good spots, but there's also spots where I wish it could have gone farther. Take for instance Ergenia, who's a pretty badass Amazon warrior on Herc's team and never needs saving. That's cool, BUT there's a scene where Cotys doesn't think a "woman is right for war" and Ergenia has to do that thing where she proves she's a badass anyway. Was that necessary? Can't we all just agree that women are badass too? Plus, she's the only woman on a team of six. That's FIVE other dudes. Sure all the other guys are great actors and fun in their roles, but couldn't you have made ONE more female instead of making Ergenia the Token female? Atlanta, the queen, gets taken as a damsel in distress, but early on Herc's nephew Iolaus gets taken hostage and puts in a DID situation, so at least it's equal. There's almost a boob pop out of Herc's mom's see-through dress, but all the women wear shirts, and the most naked one in the entire movie is DEFINITELY Dwayne The Beefcake Johnson, so plenty of female eye candy. So not terrible.<br />
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Then there's Herc's story of him getting enraged and killing his wife and kids. Which, is a big "Women in refrigerators" trope, but I'm liable to give it a pass since that's how the classic greek story goes. BUT. The whole idea of the movie is that Hercules <i>isn't</i> the legend everyone says he is. It's weird that they take out all the monster slaying and feats of human strength and leave in the women and children getting killed so he has <i>motivations</i>, right? They <i>could</i> have made it so that killing them off was just another embellishment on their part to give Herc some driving force, instead of, y'know, ACTUALLY killing them off to give Herc some driving force. That would have been a cool subversion of the myth! Maybe he's just a bachelor, or his wife and kid left them, or they died in some really mundane way but they make it all dramatic, and then one day Herc goes, "guys do we really need that? It seems kinda gory for no reason" But that's just me writing fan fiction. The way they handle it is still in that vain of "not quite the myth" but it's also still used to give him motivations to kill the main bad guy, which, did he <i>really</i> need one more reason to kill the bad guy? Really?<br />
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That's one of those things that came to me after the movie, though. Nothing in there was so problematic that it hampered my enjoyment. Overall it's a really fun movie! There's lots of action, it's funny, and it's a really cool idea. Dwayne Johnson is having a ton of fun in his role. He's perfect! I don't know what movie started this wave of classic tales that "aren't what you've been told" and I know the bubble will burst sometime, but right now I'm enjoying it. Also, the 3D is pretty good in parts but doesn't work throughout, so maybe see it in 3D, maybe not. But yeah, <i>Hercules</i>. Not terrible, lots of fun.<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Good cast, great premise, great action, lots of fun, funny, great graphics, 3D is ok.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Could have gone farther subverting the myth, could have worked the Women in Refrigerators part better, maybe more diversity, woman proving she's badass scene.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$ It's a super fun movie that I could easily see two or three more times. If they had subverted the myth <i>just a bit more</i> to not do the women in refrigerators scene, and maybe take out the woman proving herself bit, and hey maybe adding some people of color, I would have given it a perfect score. But it is a great movie and not as terrible as it could have been. Which sounds like a back-handed compliment but I'm being sincere here! I really loved it.<br />
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Gladiator, Hansel and Gretel: Which Hunters, Maleficent, 300</i><br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>Amphiaraus all but tells Hercules that he's the old character that gives him advice and then dies dramatically at the end. He even goes so far as to predict his very specific death requirements. And then he's surprised when a reign of fiery arrows rains down and he's still standing. It's a great comedic bit that plays on those classic story tropes.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-67993891255970034732014-07-25T00:00:00.000-04:002014-07-25T00:00:03.318-04:00Sketched Comic: SEX: The Summer of HardGet out your strap-ons and domino masks, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.comixology.com/Sex-Vol-1-Summer-of-Hard/digital-comic/52748" target="_blank">SEX: The Summer of Hard</a></i> by Joe Casey and Piotr Kowalski.<br />
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Simon Cooke returns to Saturn City after giving up being a superhero. Now he has to work to have a normal life, but can he even figure out what that is?<br />
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Oh hey look, another comic about a straight white dude with heteronormative sex hang-ups. Must be a day that ends in Y.<br />
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I had a lot of expectations for a book named SEX. A LOT of expectations. I mean, you're naming your book after an act that is used to create human life, an act that is done or thought about by BASICALLY most of the adult world CONSTANTLY. You've got to have a pretty sexed-up book to claim that name. And yet, it's not really <i>about </i>sex. Which is a crime in itself. Sure, there's a lot of sex in it, but you could take out all the sex and the main story would be intact. Sex doesn't become an integral part to maybe 7 or 8 when they visit a giant orgy house. It's like calling a book PIZZA but the main story is about a white dude managing his fortune-500 company and sometimes he orders out for pizza every now and then. I mean <i><a href="https://www.comixology.com/Sex-Criminals-Vol-1/digital-comic/92759" target="_blank">Sex Criminals</a></i> is <i>literally</i> about people who have sex and then commit crimes.<br />
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What is the book really about then? Basically, it's like if Batman decided to stop being Batman and instead just wanted to be Bruce Wayne for awhile. And also had problems having sex. Sure that sounds like <i>maybe</i> and interesting premise for a Batman book, but with a superhero you don't know or care about, it sounds boring. Who cares about Bruce Wayne, right? And that's what most of the book is: boring. It's Simon Cooke learning how to be a good CEO and hang out with his lawyer friends. Man, I could be reading a book about a <u><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/06/sketched-comic-rocket-girl.html" target="_blank">girl with a jetpack</a></u> and you want me to read this? Probably my favorite parts are when it switches to a black character named Keenan who gets into fights and maybe is thinking about doing this whole superhero thing(also coincidence that I'm more interested in the black character? NOPE.).<br />
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I spent most of the book waiting for something interesting to happen and then I guess orgies? I mean there is sex happening in this book. There's orgies and prostitutes and blow-jobs and special massages, but it's all so unsatisfying and it doesn't feel like it's presented in a sex healthy way. Probably the strangest thing is a bunch of old ladies fucking this pudgy guy with strap-ons that I guess is supposed to be played for laughs? But like, why should I care? Am I supposed to laugh at older woman who still like to have sex or guys that enjoy getting fucked? That's not cool. The sex <i>barely </i>serves the story other than to have something exciting there, and if you're looking for sex maybe go watch porn. And if you're looking for healthy representations of sex in comics, maybe go look for actual great sex comics like <i><a href="http://www.c.urvy.org/" target="_blank">Curvy</a></i> or <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Smut-Peddler-Various-Hands/dp/0979408067/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406097443&sr=8-1&keywords=smut+peddler" target="_blank">Smut Peddler</a></i> or <i><a href="http://jessfink.com/Chester5000XYV/" target="_blank">Chester 5000</a>.</i><br />
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Most of the book involves: Simon moping around wishing he could be a normal dude, Simon wondering whether he should go back to superheroing, Simon not knowing how to sex good, and other characters doing slightly interesting things. And y'know, if this were a book about Simon's awakening into being into different types of sex, or realizing he's gay or bi whatnot, I would be ok with that. But so far, his big sex hang-up seems to be he can't get sexually excited unless he and/or the woman involved are in superhero costumes. All things considered, that's not that extreme? Right now in the real world we have teens who are seriously confused about their gender and sexuality, and you're redoing the Night Owl story from <i>Watchmen</i>. That's what this is. If you said, "hey I want to see more of Night Owl being awkward about only wanting to get hard when he's in costume" this is totally the book for you!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha3ZF9bY5x-nkyogspGf05LazLF5RobQ-_zsKC1yQf3hqMo74yz6XETy7A5SjKZw0lOTTYfX_Hjw0TN1Ib3ezmgksvc42kTJ-nSSw1Xw-Y_WyIXJ8Di3Ht3ecqlLk31-KJJFL6faWhx2Dx/s1600/sex03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha3ZF9bY5x-nkyogspGf05LazLF5RobQ-_zsKC1yQf3hqMo74yz6XETy7A5SjKZw0lOTTYfX_Hjw0TN1Ib3ezmgksvc42kTJ-nSSw1Xw-Y_WyIXJ8Di3Ht3ecqlLk31-KJJFL6faWhx2Dx/s1600/sex03.jpg" height="320" width="188" /></a>Ok ok, before I complain anymore, I should mention that I really, truly love the art style of this. It's the only reason I picked this book up. Sure the book is literally called <i>SEX</i>, but one look at the art in here and I said to myself "I've got to have this". It's a gorgeous book, and it's very reminiscent of the grungier style of 80's comics, thanks to the beautiful inking and linework of Kowalsky. And major props have to be given to the colorist Brad Simpson because the book looks like it's constantly taking place in a nightclub. I love how colorful it is, and how wild the colors get. I wish the story matched how vibrant and full of life the coloring in this book is!<br />
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I really want to like this book because I feel like there's an interesting premise here and interesting characters. Somewhere. It's a kind of a cool idea about superheroes and villains trying to be normal and exploring their sexuality. It's a fantastic idea to show a myriad of different people and groups having sex in various forms. But the main character here is boring and just like every straight white character we've ever seen, and they're not so much as exploring sexuality as rehashing every mainstream idea of sex we've already seen. There <i>are</i> gay characters and people of color in here, but their buried in all the white male power fantasies. Its a book that I want to be different and I want to live up to its name and it just doesn't. And more than anything, it is such a slog to get through. A painful, boring slog. Are they trying to say something about what they think sex is? Are they doing sex wrong???<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Beautiful art style, beautiful colors, kind of a cool idea?<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Boring, straight white male with heteronormative sex hang-ups treated as something new and weird, not really about sex for a book called SEX.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$ I am tempted to give it a pass for the art alone, but I can't imagine going through and actually reading this again. That just sounds awful. Do something different. Make it better. Do something more diverse. There are so many other better, more thrilling, more fun options out there for what this book is trying to do.<br />
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<b>BOOKS LIKE IT: </b><i>Five Ghosts, Satellite Sam </i><br />
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<b>BOOKS BETTER THAN IT: </b><i>Rat Queens, Sex Criminals, Curvy, Chester 5000, Smut Peddler</i><br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>So there's a Joker analogue in this world, but he's a washed-up semi-hobo now and everyone hates him. Then he seduces this young women who doesn't know about him, and even though everyone tells her to stay away from him, she wants to go because he's so dangerous and cool and funny. They're about to have sex and there's this great build-up where you're expecting something horrible to happen to her, and then...they have sex and it's really unsatisfying. Also he shoots blanks. It's kind of hilarious but it's also kind of a metaphor for the whole book.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-43385361387208519942014-07-23T02:20:00.001-04:002014-07-23T02:25:46.652-04:00Escape from TomorrowGet out your Mickey Mouse ears and secret cameras, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nfU_5NWBoE" target="_blank">Escape From Tomorrow</a></i>!<br />
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Jim(Roy Abramsohn) is a recently unemployed actor taking his family on vacation to Disney World when strange and terrible things start to happen.<br />
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This movie is only really notable for the fact that the creators got most of the footage of Disneyland Guerilla-style without Disney's knowledge or permission. That's a feat in itself, but that's about the only thing that's noteworthy about the film. It feels like they got all this footage and had no idea what to do with it. I mean they've <i>had</i> to have a story thought out before filming because they show so much of the family of actors at actual Disneyland, but the story goes absolutely nowhere and makes no sense. It's a nice idea to do a horror movie at Disneyland without Disneyland's knowledge, but it might have been more worthwhile if they'd instead done a documentary about Disneyland, maybe even about the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Intern-Nation-Nothing-Little-Economy-ebook/dp/B0078XG3FS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406095874&sr=8-1&keywords=intern+nation" target="_blank">awful internship program</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNhKgQ9rUwNP9kkJhznWGhN4_3_yOEDlNLpvgNqTt9EqufhwhOISMDHH_KCaiSRgGY2TJQqIQyvS510ClmmwHUvVjd6ahEA1J4enZ5rDNQt4cDvR9LrewtSluZbIkWMhNURBNF3FnONIOW/s1600/escapefromtomorrow02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNhKgQ9rUwNP9kkJhznWGhN4_3_yOEDlNLpvgNqTt9EqufhwhOISMDHH_KCaiSRgGY2TJQqIQyvS510ClmmwHUvVjd6ahEA1J4enZ5rDNQt4cDvR9LrewtSluZbIkWMhNURBNF3FnONIOW/s1600/escapefromtomorrow02.jpg" height="320" width="268" /></a>Anyway, the movie is weird and not in a good way. Two thirds of the movie involves the father being a terrible parent and creeping over a couple of underage girls. No seriously, that's the major plot. I'm really not sure if we're supposed to identify with the father or not, but whether we are or not, you're going to spend over half the movie annoyed at how terrible this father is. This will be especially painful if you're tired of stories about angry dads or tragic dads. It's he's going through a mid-life existential crisis type thing, but I really can't for the life of me figure out why he's fixating on these two girls who are DEFINITELY underage. Like, he's at a popular tourist attraction, you'd think he'd find some other women to creep on just for some variety.<br />
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Well he does momentarily, and those are even weirder occurrences. There's an odd-acting nurse who treats his daughter for a scarped knee, and then there's a random woman who he cheats on his wife with and who also has a REALLY WEIRD AND TOTALLY UNRELATED B-story to the main horror plot. Oh also he feels no remorse for having an affair and goes right back to stalking the two underage girls afterwards. Our hero everybody!<br />
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He's a really terrible character and I can't stand him. I can't understand why we're spending so much time with him or why we should care when weird horrible things happen to him. But maybe he's so terrible that we're supposed to root for the strange things to kill him? But even then, it's not explained why these strange things are happening.<br />
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When we finally DO get to the weird stuff, it's all over the place and not at all explained what the hell is happening or why. There's something having to do with his imagination but it feels so tacked on to the found footage aspect of the movie that it hardly deserves attention or thought. It's one of those things where you just can't be bothered with logic and just have to go with it. The ending is kind of satisfying until it gets weird and goes right straight back to <i>what the hell am I watching</i>.<br />
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It's neat that they got all this footage without anyone noticing, and they must have had tons of people with secret cameras involved, with even a few people on the inside probably. I'd rather see a "making of" documentary of the movie than the movie itself. Since it's all in black and white, there are some legitimately well done shots with some nice dramatic lighting. And it's amazing how steady the camera work is considering what they had to do to get the footage. And then there are parts with obvious green screen that look terrible and instantly take you out of the experience.<br />
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Probably my favorite scene in the movie is when the father promises to take the son to the Buzz Lightyear ride and the mother takes the daughter on the teacups. The father and son wait in line for hours, while the mother and daughter get to go on a number of smaller rides. By the time the father and son finally get up to the front of the line, the ride closes down. It's like when you're watching a bad movie and waiting for something great to happen and then it just ends. Why couldn't they just stick with stuff like that?<br />
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I can't help thinking there's a better movie in here somewhere. Maybe if they had gone with the "family have a nice time out" story and left out the horrible dad character and all the weird stuff it would have been worth watching.<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Interesting idea of horror movie at Disneyland, it's a feat they got the footage, some nicely done camera work with good lighting.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Father character is horrible and unlikeable, story doesn't make sense at all, green screen not done well, horror stuff is barely there and not explained at all, movie makes no goddamn sense.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$ This is only worth seeing for the footage they got and some nicely composed shots. Maybe a good movie to play a drinking game with to see how terrible the father is. Otherwise, don't bother.<br />
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Quarantine, Chernobyl Diaries </i><br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>The father drags the young son to Space Mountain just so he can continue to creep on the two underage girls. The son clearly is not feeling it and throws up afterwards. A+ PARENTING HERE.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-7797610513989909092014-07-18T20:41:00.001-04:002014-07-18T20:41:42.542-04:00SnowpiercerGet out your protein blocks and future crack, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX5PwfEMBM0" target="_blank">Snowpiercer</a></i>!<br />
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After humans have inadvertently caused another ice age, the only survivors are those aboard a train called "the Snowpiercer", that has an everlasting engine and makes one full ride around the world each year. Curtis(Chris Evans) is one of the people on the tail end of the car, those that are the bottom class and are treated as though they're living in an internment camp. But Curtis and others are massing a riot to take over the engine and break the system. Can they pull it off?<br />
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Holy crap you guys THIS IS GREAT. This is an incredible sci-fi premise, a great story, and a beautifully done movie. Mostly it's a telling metaphor for how the rich manipulate the system to control and fuck over the poor. Who knew a story with the premise of "Dystopia on a train" would lead to such a fantastic movie?<br />
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When we first meet Curtis in the tail section, it's dark, dingy, and disgusting. You get a real sense that these are the dregs of society. There's so many people crammed into this tiny space and forced to live on synthesized goop, and the train authorities take away citizens or punish them as they please. All while shouting the mantra that they belong in the tail section because that's where they're from. It's sickening and disheartening and just wrong on so many levels. It's not until half an hour in and the revolution is under way, that they take back a couple of train cars, are instantly blinded by the outside light. It's then you realize the tail section has no windows. How long as it been since any of these people have seen a glimpse of the outside world? Years? Decades?!<br />
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The aesthetic of this movie is amazing. It's astounding how this society can go from disgusting dystopia to decadent, wasteful utopia in the span of a few train cars. You see how people are controlled and shuffled into dark corners and then you see these giant opulent rooms with tons of space and utilities. It would be so easy to spread the wealth around, but the rich have a mindset that they deserve this opulence just because they already have it. It's not even that they <i>want</i> this wealth, they are <i>burdened</i> by it. It's disgusting. It's horrifying when you've spent so much time with the main characters who have struggled for basic human necessities and then when they get to a schoolroom car, a child spouts some opulent bullshit that tail enders are lazy, good for nothings that don't do any work. This is a perfect metaphor for the kind of world we live in right now. And I'm speaking on this from a place of privilege, but still, you have shit like Fox News blaming poor people for causing all the problems in the world when the rich white dudes hold literally all the power. What I'm saying is that <i>Snowpiercer</i> will really resonate with a certain type of person. It's no wonder that his movie didn't get a wider release.<br />
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Other than the fantastic metaphor, it's just a really well done movie. It's beautifully shot and it's got a TON of great action. You'd be surprised how much action they can fit into such a small space and BOY do they really FILL IT. Full-on bloody riots with hundreds of people in the span of a few hundred feet. It is <i>brutal. </i>That's another thing I love about <i>Snowpiercer</i>, it's a brutal uncompromising movie. It gets SO dark and SO brutal. So many people die! And when you hear Curtis's backstory for why he doesn't want to be leader, I mean WOW. Chris Evans cries and you believe him crying and you just want to cry with him and stroke his beard and take his shirt off I mean...uh...BRUTAL KUNG FU FIGHTING AND JUNK.<br />
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This is an intense movie and it goes to some seriously dark places, but there's also no rape or child molestation in here, which I feel like is refreshing in this kind of movie? I mean in a post-apocalyptic dystopian story it is SO easy to lean on the crutch of rape so your story is darker. And while I don't necessarily want to give this movie a No Rape Award or something, I <i>do</i> want to use this as an example to <a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/03/300-rise-of-empire.html" target="_blank">other</a> <a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2013/09/riddick.html" target="_blank">movies</a> that you can still go dark, depressing and brutal WITHOUT having to go the rape route. It can be done! This is how!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsKVtt67U_3l5_a_f70xUPMCf4ObIWl_PqQ1RCYfgo2EnCJnW3pY5de9ZlbnAoy1ps3UPwj0nlJnJIb94jKbUCy9fHGUtB4IGpskzw0yLWPdD4JYedE2i6pUqVRcTAwQQ4y4R001rKvx2n/s1600/snowpiercer03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsKVtt67U_3l5_a_f70xUPMCf4ObIWl_PqQ1RCYfgo2EnCJnW3pY5de9ZlbnAoy1ps3UPwj0nlJnJIb94jKbUCy9fHGUtB4IGpskzw0yLWPdD4JYedE2i6pUqVRcTAwQQ4y4R001rKvx2n/s1600/snowpiercer03.jpg" height="320" width="300" /></a>Chris Evans really pulls this movie together. It's mostly his story and it's horrifying to see how far he'll go and the depths he'll fall to to get this done. He doesn't want to be a leader, but he will do anything to free his people from oppression. He's a grizzled hardass at the start and he just gets <i>harder. </i>It's horrifying to see how he goes from being sort of good natured and quippy to tired and beaten and just <i>done with it all. </i>He MAKES this movie. But along with Chris Evans, there's a stellar cast of John Hurt, Jamie Bell, Tilda Swinton, who disappears in her role as the horrible Mason, Octavia Spencer, and Kang Ho-Song, who I've liked since <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzNnCK5cd8Q" target="_blank">The Good, The Bad and The Weird</a></i>. And it's also a diverse cast! Sure a straight white dude is the main character, but there's also black, Asian and Indian characters representing. Ho-Song doesn't even speak english! Curtis has to finagle a translator for them to work together.<br />
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This is a brutal depressing movie. But it's also a fun movie. There's lots of funny bits and nice moments and tons of great action. It's in that perfect sweet spot of movie that's a dark satire on life but is also a fun movie to watch multiple times. I can't recommend seeing this enough. If it's in your city, <i>see it</i>. It's also on demand on multiple devices!<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great sci-fi premise and social satire, great brutal action, great acting, Chris Evans nails it, beautifully shot, fun, great CGI.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Might be too brutal for some people if you can't take that sort of thing.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$$ See it! This is an instant sci-fi classic. it's fun, it's depressing, it's a great movie.<br />
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Children of Men, Equilibrium, 1984, The Road, Gattaca, In Time</i><br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>They get to the train car where they produce the protein blocks that feed the tail end. Tons of people go crazy gobbling them up because they're only allowed one protein block a day. Then Curtis and a few others find out what they're made of, and he makes them swear not to tell everyone while holding back vomit. Later, they get to eat sushi, which Mason explains is only served twice a year because they need to keep the ecosystem in the aquarium in a delicate balance, alluding to how the tail end of the train is controlled. Curtis takes away her sushi and makes her eat a protein block.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-34102564940003296602014-07-16T12:46:00.001-04:002014-07-16T12:46:20.594-04:00Dawn of the Rise of the Movie of the Apes of the Planet of the Get out your APES with GUNS, we're reviewing <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sHMCRaS3ao" target="_blank">Dawn of the Planets of the Apes</a></i>!<br />
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It's been 10 years since the events of the <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2011/08/rise-of-planet-of-apes-of-movie.html" target="_blank">Rise of the Planet of the Apes</a></i> when the "simian flu" broke out and killed most of humanity, and Caesar(Andy Serkis) has made a thriving community for the now genetically smart apes. But when a new group of survivors show up, led by Malcolm(Jason Clarke), to restore power to parts of San Francisco to keep humanity alive, war between the apes and humans threatens to break out.<br />
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This is more than I ever wanted from a movie about apes with guns. I really liked <i>Rise</i> and this is somehow <i>better</i>. Did anyone expect these movies to be really great? I think we all look at the classic ape series through rose-tinted glasses because while the first one is iconic, most of the series wasn't that good, right? And this is like, a legitimately good movie! With a touching story, dueling personalities, and a masterful driving theme of doing what's best for your family! It's really good is what I'm saying.<br />
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This is SUCH a pretty movie. The animations of the apes look amazing and there's so much detail in the faces and fur and skin wrinkles that you'll wonder how many sleepless hours these technicians and artists had to go through. The CGI is breathtaking, and the post-apocalyptic aesthetic is done incredibly well. It looks like <i>The Last of Us</i>: The movie. I wouldn't say the 3D is necessarily worth it, but all the ape acting and animation is pulled of wonderfully. And it's all held together by a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmIiEbVhdTA" target="_blank">great score</a> done by the always amazing Michael Giacchino.<br />
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And there's soooo much cool action. If you like seeing apes fight, this is definitely the movie for you. Apes on horses, apes with guns, apes fighting apes, it's all super fun to watch. The first five minutes alone have apes fighting a bear. APES FIGHTING A BEAR. You know you want to see that movie.<br />
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The acting is all on point. Jason Clarke pulls a lot of heavy work with his icy blue stare alone, but there's also Gary Oldman being great as usual, and Keri Russel, who's had a great couple of years lately. But obviously this is Andy Serkis' show as his acting as Caesar is perfect. There will be shots where he's just standing with a half grimace showing off his dominance and you KNOW he's about to get into some shit. All the other ape actors are amazing too, especially Toby Kebbell as the militant 2nd in command, general Koba.<br />
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It really astounds me how great the story is, and how much they build on the universe and characters of the first one. Characters you thought would be one-note side characters or sub-villains in the first movie, like Koba and Maurice the orangoutang, become major players in this one. And it all fits together so well. This isn't one of those stories where the humans are evil for no reason or the apes turn into monsters, you can really feel that everyone has a good reason for doing what they're doing, and they can't do it any other way. It's a great study in conflicting personalities and the mistrust of others. And on top of that there's also a really good father-son dynamic with Caesar and his brash teenage son.<br />
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I wish I had more to say, but <i>Dawn of the Planet of the Apes</i> is just a really great movie. Great story, great CGI, great action, go see it!<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great CGI, Great moving story, great acting, great characters, great soundtrack, great animation, apes with guns.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>I mean do you NOT like apes with guns???<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$$ It's definitely worth seeing multiple times. I would recommend seeing <i>Rise </i>first if you haven't already, but it's still an amazing movie.<br />
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Planet of the Apes, I am Legend, Children of Men, The Last of Us</i>(videogame)<br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR:</b> Koba acts like a dumb monkey to get close to two dumb guys shooting guns, only take the gun away and shoot them both. It's a really well acted and well animated scene, but also badass AND horrifying.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-54045645835567702222014-07-11T18:25:00.005-04:002014-07-11T18:25:54.944-04:00Sketched Comic: Whatever Happened to the World of Tomorrow?Get out your rockets and duck n' cover videos, we're reviewing <i><a href="http://www.abramsbooks.com/Books/Whatever_Happened_to_the_World_of_Tomorrow_-9780810996366.html" target="_blank">Whatever Happened to the World of Tomorrow?</a></i> by Brian Fies!<br />
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This is the story about a father and son, Pop and Buddy respectively, growing up in the age of rockets and spaceships and seeing how they and the times change with each passing decade.<br />
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I know I go on a lot about stories involving straight white dudes, angry dad/tragic dad stories and how they're all boring and we should be more diverse in this day and age, but I'm giving this one father-son story a pass. It is a legitilately great comic about a father and son growing up together. It's really touching, has a buttload of information about the science and history of space travel, and is beautifully illustrated with many nods to other comic eras.<br />
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This is less a story about an actual father and son and more a story about the image of the iconic father and son. They're only ever called "Buddy" and "Pop"and Fies draws them in a very simplified iconic manner. The whole book spans decades and takes place in the 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's, yet Buddy ages in a way that most cartoon characters through decades of television age. After decades of story when he should be 30, he's closer to his pre-teens. It's a really interesting way to marriage how a boy grows up with how America's thoughts on space travel are at the time, going from child-like wonder all the way up to teenage apathy. It can drag a bit at the parts where he's talking about the history of the time, so if you don't like history and learning junk, you might find parts of this boring. Basically, your enjoyment of this book depends on how much you enjoy the show <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhUzYLMU6jM" target="_blank">Cosmos</a></i>.<br />
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Interspersed with these are comics within comics involving "Commander Cap Crater" and "the Cosmic Kid" who reflect the Pop and Buddy characters. These inner-comics do a great job of reflecting the style of comicsof that decade from the story structure to the art style right down to having those particular pages of the book be in yellow newsprint. These characters also change throughout the decades and it's really interesting to see the differences in comics. Thankfully, they stop before Cap Crater and the Cosmic Kid are Liefelded in the 90s.<br />
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I'm giving this book a big pass because, yes, it's about two white characters we've seen before, and yes it's a father son story we've heard before, but that's kind of the point. These are how we saw and represented media and characters for so long. And at the end of the book, a grown up Buddy hands the reigns to his daughter, giving a nice nod that it's her time now. Plus, while most books would stop there and ignore everyone else, they don't shy away from putting other races and genders in their story or in the pieces of history they talk about. Even in the earliest meta-comics, they've got Police Woman Mooney who's obviously smarter than the chief or Crater give her credit for, but is always overshadowed by the white male hero. Then in the last comic, she's finally promoted over the chief and given the recognition and power she rightly deserves.<br />
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The mother is never mentioned, which is kind of weird. At first you think maybe it's just them having a day to themselves and then you realize that she's just not there. It's never explained if she's dead or has left. More likely, she doesn't exist, because the creators of that time didn't see a reason to make a mother character. And on one hand that's a really weird really big detail to leave out and robs the story of having a mother's perspective, or even a kid's perspective of the mother, but on the other hand it lends itself more to the idea that these are more icons created for their time than people. It's horrifying to think that women didn't fit in that storyline at the time, but that totally fits with how stories would be told then. Because women complicate things I guess! It's weird, but I find myself more fascinated by the idea than offended, though you might feel differently.<br />
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I don't know if I can say the story resonates with me as a white male who also has a father, but I think it's a pretty nice story. The book makes a point that so much of the space age was filled with wonder and optimism and that's rarely seen today, and I agree with that, especially in modern comics. Everything is always so grim and dreary and grimdark. Our superheroes aren't allowed to be happy or have emotions other than brooding. It's nice to have a story with characters that look towards the future as a thing of beauty and a book that is generally excited to see what comes next. It's just nice darn it!<br />
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It's a really great father-son story, a great look at our space age past and the future that never was, and it's a well done book with a lovely simple cartoony style.<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great father-son story, great generational-spanning premise, simple beautiful style, great look at comics from past, well-put together book, informative and educational.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>No mother character, not for people who like to learn stuff.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$ This is a really well-done book and a fascinating look at how we fell in love with space-travel and then let it fade away. It's informative and optimistic.<br />
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<b>BOOKS LIKE IT: </b><i>Shock Rockets, Terminal City, Flash Gordon, Afrodisiac</i><br />
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<b>ONE-PAGE METAPHOR: </b>It's 1955, and Buddy is busy reading his comic while Pop is busy putting together a fallout shelter. Buddy asks if his friends can play in it when they're done, but Pop makes him promise not to tell anyone because it's better the less people know. It's one of the few disturbing points in the book where they're preparing for Russians to drop bombs on them, but they're still doing it with a smile and sense of wonder, and it's a fascinating slice of life of what that must have been like.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-23903714646968735452014-07-09T11:21:00.000-04:002017-02-23T13:20:07.291-05:00Transformers: Age of Extinction Get out your robot dinosaurs and gun-swords, we're reviewing <i>Transformers: Age of Extinction</i>!<br />
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Cade Yeager(an actual name someone came up with played by Mark Wahlberg), a hapless inventor who is taken care of by his teenage daughter, Tessa(Nochola Peltz), discovers a beat-up truck that's actually Optimus Prime(Peter Cullen). When the CIA want to track down and kill all of the Transformers, Cade, Tessa and Optimus have to go on a journey to unite the Transformers, stop an evil company from making knock-off transformers, and save the Earth from the same bomb that wiped out the dinosaurs.<br />
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Real talk: If they came out and actually called it "Trans4mers" we'd all think it's the dumbest thing ever, but now that they haven't, it feels like there's something off, right? Like there's no way a movie this dumb <i>shouldn't </i>be called Trans4mers, right? And honestly, what's with them and what I can only guess is a deep-rooted fear of numerals? Is anyone going to remember these titles or be able to tell them apart after they've made six of them(which they're going to)? Can anyone remember the actual names of the last two without looking? Age of the Dark Spark? Dark Side of the Moon? Fear of the Fallen? Those sound right don't they?<br />
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Also: Cade Yeager???<br />
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Cade. Yeager. CADE YEAGER. Of the proud Yeager family, I presume.<br />
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Michael Bay is just pissed <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2014/05/godzilla.html" target="_blank">Godzilla</a></i> beat him to naming their main character Ford isn't he?<br />
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Anyways, if you can't suss out that I'm having trouble in properly reviewing <i>Trans4mers</i>, I am. I mean, it's a Michael Bay <i>Transformers</i> movie. We don't expect these things to be good, right? But we still see them? That was basically my thought process for this. Not "Oh GOD there's no way I'm going to see another dumb Bayformers movie" but "There is another Transformers movie. There is no way I am expecting this to be good. I am definitely going to see it." We do this to ourselves. We have no one but ourselves to blame.<br />
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And really, it IS our fault, right? Not Michael Bay. Because oh man, this thing is terrible, but it made a <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/scottmendelson/2014/07/06/box-office-transformers-4-tops-quiet-july-4th-weekend/" target="_blank">BUTTload</a> of money. Did <i>Pacific Rim</i> make this much domestically? Hell no! It barely scraped by(for big budget movie standards). And yet, it had the same basic premise of being a movie about robots punchin' monsters, and was ACTUALLY GOOD. But America instead went to see a movie with horrible female characters, casual racism, and a plot that makes no goddamn sense. This is why we can't have nice things. THIS IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.<br />
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Ok, so, with the robot stuff, I mean it's basically the same robot action stuff from the previous movies. The designs aren't AS terrible but they're certainly still not good. And hey, robot dinosaurs that get a good fifteen minutes of screen time, that's cool. And I mean, Mark Wahlberg shoots stuff with a giant gunsword. This should be a movie I am interested in. But, ugh, Michael Bay is so not interested in making these damn movies. He is doing the equivalent of a kid mashing two transformer toys together for a story. It is not good.<br />
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But, Michael Bay <i>can</i> be good! I've seen it! <i><a href="http://sketchedscreenings.blogspot.com/2013/05/pain-gain.html" target="_blank">Pain and Gain</a></i> was a legitimately good movie! I enjoyed it! It was not awful! It's just, he is not a good fit for these kinds of movies because Michael Bay HATES humanity and thinks people are terrible people. There are a lot of scenes in this where the actions stop and characters just start screaming at each other and this is supposed to be comedic humor. It's supposed to be funny that these robots who are a force of good are being terrible at each other and hate each other and everyone. Maybe Michael Bay should just stick to making action-noir.<br />
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This should be a kids movie, right? We are all agreed that the Transformers should ostensively be one big kids' toy commercial? That's not to say it shouldn't have a compelling and adult story, because I still love the original 1986 cartoon <i>Transformers</i> movie and that's a movie where half the cast gets killed off, but these things should be for kids, right? You can't tell me this movie is not for kids and then in the same breath <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvPZeZuo5T0" target="_blank">try to sell toys for small children</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueE_KdqvtYo" target="_blank">based off characters from the movie</a>. That's not how real life works guys. Sure there are toys from the movie <i>Reservoir Dogs</i> but they are not aimed at children 4-10.<br />
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But everyone in this movie is horrible! This is a movie where an F-bomb is casually dropped! I'm the last person to say violence is terrible for kids but WON'T SOMEONE PLEEEEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?? And it's not even ABOUT the excessive violence of Prime splitting a dude in half or seeing a human getting burned alive until he's a metal skeleton stuck in a pose of infinite fear and horror(actual things that happen by the way), it's about how Optimus Prime wants to kill humans and all the Autobots are terrible people who hate each other and want to say 'fuck you' to humanity. It's fine to have reluctant heroes, villains-turned-good or misfit criminals learning the importance of life, but these are supposed to be the Good Guys. They should maybe not be terrible all the time?<br />
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And that's not even getting into Cade Yeager who's supposed to be the hero of the film. CADE YEAGER. This is such a terrible father figure and just a bad character all around. He spends all his time inventing things instead of taking care of his family. In fact, he doesn't even care about his 17 yr old daughter unless it's policing her sexuality or treating her like an object that needs to be protected and can't take care of herself. He is just awful. Though it's not like she does anything to prove him wrong. She starts out strong by actually being the adult in the relationship and I was hoping she'd get some moments to prove herself as a badass independent woman, but as soon as fighting breaks out she INSTANTLY gets turned into a useless damsel in distress. She cannot do anything to save her own life except whine and moan and does nothing but get captured. This is a horrible female character. And not to badmouth make-up or anything, but it's really <i>really</i> distracting that they're supposed to be on the road with no signs of civilization or in the midst of battle and she still has perfectly pink lips and blushed cheeks. Just, no.<br />
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And OH MAN that's not even the worst. No, the worst by far is Tessa's boyfriend who is 20 years old and is fucking her, and in order to prove to Cade and the audience that it's not weird at all, pulls out a tiny lamented card that explains an obscure Texas law that proves he's not committing statuary rape. Like WHAT. Like, I want Cade to let her have her freedom but I'm kind of with him on this one in thinking he's a total creep that needs to be arrested. Why would you put that in there?? Why WOULD YOU PUT THAT IN THE MOVIE?? Why is this a five minute scene in a nearly 3-hour movie?? Why can't they both be 17 or have her be 19 or I don't know SOMETHING ELSE instead of telling old pervs how they can skirt statutory rape laws in a movie that should be about giant robots shooting each other with pew pew lasers?<br />
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Man this turned into a shouty complainy review real fast. It's just, like, I know Michael Bay can make good movies, and I know there can be good giant robot movies. I just really want there to be a <i>Transformers</i> movie I can unequivocally like. Something I can go to see and with excitement and not a begrudging sense of duty. Something that has giant robots punching each other but I don't have to compromise with horrible female characters and racist stereotypes. I want a better <i>Transformers</i> movie. And hey, we have 3 other of these things so it's not even like you really <i>need</i> to see this one for the giant robot explosions? It's...I don't know. I don't know man.<br />
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Ugh. I can't wait for the Michael Bay <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwXFsrp6WBs" target="_blank">TMNT</a> </i>movie in which April O'Neil explains away beastilaity laws to the audience.<br />
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CADE. YEAGER.<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>I mean there are robots in this? That shoot lasers and punch other robots? And there are robot dinosaurs I guess? There's a gun sword? This should be a fun movie right?<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>CADE YEAGER, horrible women characters, terrible characters being terrible, story makes no sense at all, racist characters, movie feels long, soundtrack is awful, basically it's a <i>Transformers</i> movie.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$ I mean it's a Michael Bay <i>Transformers</i> movie. I would say don't bother, but you've already made up your mind whether or not to see it.<br />
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b>Other Michael Bay <i>Transformers</i> movies.<br />
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<b>MOVIES BETTER THAN IT: </b><i>Pacific Rim</i><br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>I am conflicted with the Autobot "Drift". On the one hand, he's a cool lookin' robot voiced by Ken Wantanabe who looks like a samurai, does some cool swordplay and also turns into a slick chopper at one point. On the other hand he is a <i>horribly </i>racist steryotype for no discernible reason. He's just a samurai that talks in haikus and calls Optimus "sensei". Why is this? Why does a robot from Cybertron act this way? How hard would it have been to just <i>not</i> make him such a stereotype or at least explain <i>why</i> he's like this? If you needed room you just take out that age of consent scene.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3581125325632844422.post-43773199939874045462014-07-04T00:00:00.000-04:002014-07-04T00:00:04.083-04:00SecondsGet out your giant robot dinosaurs and pew pew lasers we're revie-wait I didn't see <i>Transformers</i> yet shit um<br />
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oh crap uh shit damn it uh um OK DON'T PANIC<br />
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*scrounges around old movies*<br />
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Ok um get out your new teeth and burned-off fingertips, we're reviewing <i>Seconds</i>!<br />
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*whew*<br />
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Arthur Hamilton(John Randolph) seems to be bored of his old life, so he has a sketchy company "kill" him off, completely reconstruct him with plastic surgery, and give him an exciting new life as Antiochus Hamilton(Rock Hudson). But is this really the life he wants?<br />
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This is a really weird, unsettling disquieting movie. It plays out as though it were a 2-hour long <i>Twilight Zone </i>episode. It's weird not only in its premise, but also in how its story is set up. I could see this premise being remade in today's times, but instead of being a creepy, unsettling sci-fi noir thriller, I know it would instantly be turned into a "Sci-fi action" movie. Somehow the shlumpy old white guy would get turned into the hot new white guy, find away to break out of the system, kill a ton of dudes with kung-fu he just learned, and run away with the girl. And that–not to spoil anything–doesn't quite happen here. No, it's much more unnerving than that.<br />
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What makes it work so well, is that Arthur Hamilton is a boring shlub. He's a banker, he doesn't really have any great dreams or aspirations, his wife and daughter barely register him. And what's more, he's <i>always</i> a boring shlub. Even when he gets his fancy new body with Rock(Hudson)-hard abs and a chiseled jaw, he's not any more interesting or charming or witty. He doesn't have any more great ideas or aspirations. He's just a boring regular guy. And I kind of love that.<br />
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It's also incredibly acting on Rock Hudson's part for always looking like he's constantly living in someone else's skin, like he doesn't know what to do with himself. You'd expect(as Arthur expected) that after a while, good ol' Rock Hudson would come out with some smarm and get into some interesting adventure. But that doesn't happen, because he's not really Rock Hudson. He's still a regular guy with boring anecdotes and terrible jokes. He has a better life but he's not the better man.<br />
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It's like one of those stories where a normal guy instantly gets all those riches but then doesn't know what to do with them and ends up losing them. It's not to say that this average guy doesn't deserve this rich life style because he hasn't earned it. It's to say the things he thought he wanted are just empty and meaningless, and the things that people value are experiences he doesn't have. He doesn't fit in that skin. It also does a great job of subverting the idea that if only you'd look more handsome you'd instantly get the beautiful girl.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQURBp2pTpvXYwUfekAYBIqXXwrzzADhMR1OywAXu5UCFwzJ1zd-5yVZvfgtvciId2FPRHVErPqPxN0eMMBTYGHO4XqGaaiey4iZB1qqKajb6rZ_5EbUPe39Aew-ghXe7a6BwCLOT7vMCC/s1600/seconds03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQURBp2pTpvXYwUfekAYBIqXXwrzzADhMR1OywAXu5UCFwzJ1zd-5yVZvfgtvciId2FPRHVErPqPxN0eMMBTYGHO4XqGaaiey4iZB1qqKajb6rZ_5EbUPe39Aew-ghXe7a6BwCLOT7vMCC/s1600/seconds03.jpg" height="320" width="256" /></a>With all the sci-fi action stories we're fed these days, you expect that he's eventually going to break out and go on some chase and tear down the system, some great epic story. But it's much smaller and simpler than that. It really is just <i>his</i> story and self contained. It's not him vs. the evil corporation, it's him vs. himself. And that's it. And it's a really good sci-fi thriller if you don't expect some action-packed chase fest. It has a great ending, and once you realize how everything works and fits together, it's really quite unnerving.<br />
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The creepiness throughout the entire movie is helped by the great cinematography. There's a lot of early steady cam work and tons of close-ups on the protagonist's face, giving this sense of eery nausea. And I love the "dream sequence" that uses practical effects to make the environment look warped. It's really great camera work to give you a super creepy feeling. And the score is like something out of a haunted house.<br />
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<i>Seconds</i> is a great classic. If you want a pretty simple sci-fi noir thriller you can't go wrong.<br />
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No it doesn't have any giant robots why would you ask that<br />
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<b>THE GOOD: </b>Great cinematography, unnerving feeling, great thriller, great cast and acting, creepy soundtrack, great story, great bleak ending.<br />
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<b>THE BAD: </b>Feels like only an extended episode of the <i>Twilight Zone</i>, camera effects might make you nauseous.<br />
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<b>THE VERDICT: </b>$$$$ It's a pretty great classic thriller. Highly recommended seeing at least once for the crazy story and crazier cinematography.<br />
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<b>MOVIES LIKE IT: </b><i>Psycho, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Scarlet Street</i><br />
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<b>ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: </b>The new Mr. Wilson is leaving an airport, when a man comes up to greet him like he's an old friend, except he's just had his face and life created, how could he know who he is? Rock Hudson looks generally confused and almost a bit terrified. You can almost imagine the previous actor wearing his skin, walking around, trying to figure out how to act.The Noir Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05083554242251593591noreply@blogger.com0