Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Top Ten Favorite Movies of 2013

It's a new year: 2013 is over, and 2014 is now! Time to look back and judge all the movies we've seen and make them fight to the death for our entertainment! Line them up in a row and tell them who's beautiful and who's not! What am I even talking about?! Anyways, here's my list of my favorite movies from 2013!

10. Furious 6
If ever there was a movie series that embodied the Saints Row games, the Fast and Furious franchise would be it. There's no way to watch it and not look at it as a ridiculous, physics-breaking videogame. When you want to watch a videogame, put this on (At least until Need for Speed comes out). It has car-flipping racecars, Michelle Rodriguez kicking Gina Carano's ass, and an incredible scene with a tank. Story? Who cares! Throw the Rock at Vin Diesel again! And also watch it for the late great Paul Waker, may he rest in peace.

There's no review of this as I've just watched it, but it's an incredible generation-spanning noir epic. It might be too long for some and the multi-story format might be too much, but I adored this story of bad choices and the ramifications of absent fathers. I think it needs to be long to really see the effects that not having a family can have on someone, and the cycle it creates. Also, shirtless Ryan Gosling, and who doesn't want to see that?
Sure it seems like it's just a buddy cop comedy, but it’s so much more than that. It's a buddy cop comedy with two women as the lead stars! And the story isn't about proving how women are actually powerful and can do stuff! Everyone just accepts that already and the hurdles the main characters have to go through are their own personal short-comings! Isn't that great? I mean it shouldn't have to be such a landmark that an action comedy has two female co-stars, but there it is. And it doesn't hurt that it's hilarious. I love how Melissa McCarthy is a dude magnet and brushes it off like it's nothing instead of having to constantly deal with jokes about her weight. She OWNS IT. And who knew Sandra Bullock could be this funny?

7. Mud
Hey look! It's that movie you haven't heard of! Man, last year was Matthew Mcconaughey's year. I don't know when he decided to stop taking normal leading-man roles and start taking crazy people roles, but it is the best decision of his career. If you haven't seen this, it's an incredible southern-fried noir and coming-of age-story about a young boy coming to terms with the end of his town while helping a possibly dangerous criminal named Mud. Mcconaughey acts his shirt off (literally, that is a major plotpoint, I kid you not!) but a lot of the heavy lifting falls on the young Tye Sheridan with his mile-long stare. It's an incredible film and you should definitely go see it.

If not for another movie, this would be the year that Dreamworks beat Pixar. The Croods is a fantastically and beautifully animated movie about a group of Neanderthals running from the end of the world. Somehow this is a movie that made Nicholas Cage seem like a real actor! And I love the role-reversal between the thuggish Eep and careful, dainty Guy. It has great female roles. Although it is weird that it turns more into a movie about dads than a movie about daughters.

I never knew how much I needed a movie about secret agent Tony Stark until now. Iron Man 3 is my favorite of the series. It has the best fight scenes, the best dialogue, and Pepper actually gets to kick some ass! I love where they took the series after The Avengers. Tony has a great journey to go through and his new suit designs are all awesome. It helps that it's written and directed by the same guy who did the amazing Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

AKA, the movie that killed the astronaut program for an entire generation. As Sandra Bullock says, "stupid space!" It's an incredible ride, especially in 3D, watching her tumble through zero-G. It's the kind of movie where she cannot get a break and everything bad that could happen, does. The imagery and cinematography is beautiful. It's gorgeous and terrifying all at once. I love how they don't go too much into over explanation or have a sub story with NASA figuring out a mystery. It's all about her trying to get home. It's really one that is best experienced in theaters.

3. Frozen
Holy crap, is this a Disney princess movie that needed to happen! If you didn't see it because you thought it looked like every other dumb princess movie, you sorely missed out – because it doesn't just break classic damsel in distress tropes, it SHATTERS THEM. I love that we finally have a movie where the heroine saves herself, and I love that this is a movie where the classic love-at-first-sight trope is taken to task by rational people. Along with that, it boasts a balance of fun and seriousness in the story, features amazing music, and wows the audience with gorgeous animation and snow effects.

This is a twisty-turny noir-y heist film that keeps you laughing your ass off and hanging on the edge of your seat. You never know who the protagonist is, who is working with whom, or who is being conned. It's a perfect period piece of the ‘70s: from the clothes, to the sets, to the accents, to the music. I love how funny and ridiculous all these characters can be and how vulnerable we get to see them. We see Christian Bale perfecting his comb-over and Jennifer Lawrence hate-cleaning! It's theatre at its most outrageous.

OH I'M SORRY DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T PUT A MOVIE WITH GIANT ROBOTS PUNCHING THE SHIT OUT OF GIANT MONSTERS AT THE TOP OF MY LIST?? BECAUSE IF SO, YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DAMN MOVIE BLOG, SON. Anyway – yeah. Del Toro hit it out of the park with what might be the best giant robot and giant monster movie in years. Amazing effects and graphics, amazing soundtrack, simple yet fun story, great characters, and no sappy romance plot! This is a movie where people use friendship to pilot giant robots to punch inter-dimensional monsters in the face. You're damn right I saw it five times.

And there you have it! That's my top-ten list! Honorable mentions go to The Family, The Wolf of Wallstreet, Warm Bodies, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, The World's End, Don Jon, Frances Ha, and Inside Llewyn Davis for being great and fun and you should totally also watch those.


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  2. I was almost disappointed but I kept scrolling and there Frozen was.