The Hangover Part III

Get out your drugs and bars of gold, we're reviewing The Hangover Part III!

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When Alan (Zach Galifianakis) gets in trouble for the last time, everyone decides it would be best if he get some help, so the wolf pack drives him to a facility in Arizona. But on the way there, they get pushed off the road by Marshall (John Goodman), who's looking for Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong). Marshall kidnaps Doug, and if the wolf pack don't get Chow, Marshall will kill him!

The only time I laughed is after the credits had rolled. Not because I was so relieved the movie was over – there was just one funny scene, after the credits. In fact, it's hard to say if I was supposed to laugh at this at all. It didn't feel like the other two installments of the Hangover (which I suppose is a semi-compliment considering the last Hangover sequel). It starts off with a dramatic open of Chow escaping prison, and there's more of a reliance on action sequences and dramatic events. You could almost say it's a serviceable action/drama movie with awful characters, except for all the blatant parts that are supposed to be funny but aren't.

I expected more from Phil.

This movie is all about Alan and having him finally growing up, which I admire. I was expecting this last movie. Unfortunately it also relies heavily on Zach Galifianakis' humor and Alan being either stupid or terrible or both. He's got Homer Simpson syndrome, in which in the first movie he's kind of a lovable dope, but as time progresses, he becomes stupider to the point that he must be actually brain-damaged. There's also a lot more of Jeong's Chow, which doesn't work as a main character, partially because Jeong can't keep the accent up for that long, and partially because Chow is an insufferable character. He's at least five times worse than Alan, who I already can't stand. This movie could more aptly be called "The 'wacky' adventures of Alan and Chow." There are a couple of freak-outs from Stu, and Phil is just along for the ride. Doug is once again out of the picture, which by the third movie I really would like to know how his character would handle this situation. But, not enough to watch a fourth installment.

I really don't know how they can call it "The Hangover Part III" when there isn't any actual hangover. Sure it's a continuation of the previous series of events, but there's no getting drunk or drugged and waking up and having to figure out what happened. I guess I should be happy they didn't completely rehash the first one for a second time?

There's also a crazy amount of animal cruelty. Not actual animal cruelty I'm sure, but on-screen animal cruelty that we're supposed to find funny? A giraffe gets decapitated, chickens are bred to cock-fight by being cannibals and then smothered to death, dogs are killed off screen… Is this what someone would call funny? More than that, Chow kills chickens and dogs, and he's supposed to be a sympathetic character?

Melissa McCarthy is the love interest for Alan, about which… I like that she's the closest thing to the main girl of the film (it's all about the boys mostly), but she doesn't get a lot of screen time, and I think that having her go with Alan semi-implies she's an out of the ordinary choice. I would have liked it better if she was the new girl for Phil and it was played completely straight.

How is John Goodman getting all these villain roles?

It's weird, if they had decided to play this straight, and have it be a drama to see how far these character would go, characters that were previously in a comedic turn of events but now find themselves deep in a real, dramatic situation, that might almost be an interesting movie. But this is supposed to be a comedy. And it fails as a comedy.

There's nothing really exceptionally funny that I'd say you have to go see it. There's nothing like the first film's police sequence or meeting with Mike Tyson, or anything having to do with the baby that's funny enough to be remembered. There are a few okay action sequences, but that's about it. Not that I was bored or overly annoyed while watching it – I was entertained, but mostly wondered how this would all end and when something funny was going to FINALLY show up. Spoiler alert: It didn't. There's little reason for this movie existing except to end the series with a third movie.

THE GOOD: Ummm, some good action sequences? An okay after-the-credits scene? Melissa McCarthy and John Goodman are in it?

THE BAD: Not funny, lots of animal cruelty, too much of Alan and Chow.

THE VERDICT: $$ If you absolutely HAVE TO finish out the series and see what happens, then wait for it to come to Netflix and stream it. Don't spend any money on it if you have to because I do NOT want another one of these. It's a serviceable action movie and might have been an interesting drama, but it's a terrible comedy.

MOVIES LIKE IT: Ocean's 13, The Godfather Part 3, Transformers 3

ONE-SCENE METAPHOR: Jeong is doing karaoke of a sad song while the wolf pack is watching. Phil goes, "What the fuck are we even watching?" My sentiments exactly, Phil… My sentiments exactly.