Friday, June 24, 2011

Sketched Discussion: Predictions for Dark of the Moon

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon comes out next week.  Early reviews say it's pretty good, but everyone else is skeptical.  I just wanted to make a few predictions(based on the trailers and what we know about the psyche of Michael Bay) of what I think will happen in the movie and see how many I get right. So, spoilers ahead? Possibly?

Can you tell I don't draw transformers often? I was hesitant about drawing Bayformer style Megatron, until I realized he's just a bunch of scribbles.

Now let the skepticism fly!

Shia Labeouf Predictions:

-Sam Witwickey just can't seem to get his life together, even though he's surrounded by robots.  He's struggling for a job and possibly an apartment now.

-He goes through the movie relearning the same lesson he learned in the previous two movies, a.k.a. he wants to have a normal life but must accept he has to do great things.

-His dad still doesn't trust him with responsibility, even though he's saved the world twice.

-Everyone dumps on him and no one treats him as a celebrity, even though he's close personal friends with giant transforming robotic aliens that everyone obviously knows about.

-He spends half the movie running around yelling, "No no no no no no no!"

-He hangs out with trash talking "humorous" transformers that are NOT SKIDS AND MUDFLAP AT ALL(kind of a cheat as I just saw a TV spot with a tiny trash talker riding a dog).

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Predictions:

-He falls in love with Carly Miller(Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) almost instantly, for no real reason other than she's gorgeous.

-The Decepticons find this out that he cares about her somehow and capture her, and he has to sacrifice himself or something important in a stupid act to save her.

-She's just as stiff as Meagan Fox and still can't keep her mouth closed(has anyone seen the two of them in the same room together?!).

Transformers Predictions:

-The nascar inspired Wreckers will be "humorously" white trash and get more dialogue than most of the other transformers.

-At least one of the Wreckers will say "Get 'er done".

-Shockwave will have the very important role of opening the space bridge and firing his laser once, and then never being seen throughout the movie again.

-Soundwave is still circling the globe as a satellite, everyone just forgot he was there.  He gets no screen time in the movie.

-more dog on transformer humor, I'm fully expecting a dog to hump one of the smaller ones.

-That giant work that rips a building in half will have robot vagina and boobs(insert hentai joke here).

-Bumblebee dies in a completely useless way, probably sacrificing himself to save Sam.  This is done not for any narrative standpoint, but merely to show how dark and brutal the third installment is.

-Sentinel Prime will appear, do stuff, then sacrifice himself to give Optimus more power.

-There will be transformers from the original show making cameos, but considering they'll all look the same and have less than a second of screen time each, the only way to find out will be to go home and read the transformers wiki.

-Optimus and the rest of the Autobots leave Earth to draw the decepticons away, providing an ending that can be an end to the trilogy or open ended for the uneeded fourth movie.

-Either Galvatron or Unicron will be hinted at near the end.

-(possibly hopefully)Megatron is killed, Starscream takes over, it's hinted in the credits he gets reborn as Galvatron.

Other Predictions:

-The evil looking lady Frances McDormand plays turns out to actually be a Decepticon(y'know, I don't actually think that will happen, but remember in the last movie a human girl turned out to be a transformer and then no one talked about it ever? Wouldn't that be cool if they actually used it for something this time?!).

-John Turturro is back being the good annoying character. He's mostly annoying.

-There's another great Mcguffin that will destroy/save the Earth depending on whose hands it's in, half the movie will be about the Autobots finding it, then they lose it to the Decepticons and spend the rest of the movie trying to get it back. And then they destroy it.

Hmm, I think that's it for now. What about you guys? Do you agree or disagree? What are your predictions?

1 comment:

  1. I disagree with Soundwave. He will have a bigger role on earth ( I say this cuz laserbeak is released).

    I know the wreckers will be stereotyped...but they look so cool! lol

    And I doubt they kill off bumblebee.

    I think there is an Ariel Autobot who comes up big in this one. Too many decepticon ships have been shown, there has to be something to take them out.