Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Get out your steampunk corsets and machine gun crossbows, we're reviewing Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters!

"We heard from a rabbit you like children!"

Hansel(Jeremy Renner) and Gretel(Gemma Arterton) were abandoned by their parents in the forest as children and almost eaten by a witch, so obviously they have to devote their lives to killing every witch they find! But when a grand witch(Famke Janssen) comes along and starts kidnapping ALL OF THE CHILDREN, Hanel and Gretel must stop her! Then they discover some strange things about their past.

Quickies: The Campaign, Bourne Legacy, Dead Heads

Hey guys, I've been super busy with the final project for my inking class(pictures soon) and working on my internship, so I decided to have one post of quick reviews of all the movies I've seen.

The Campaign

Cam Brady(Will Ferrell) and Marty Huggins(Zach Galifianakis) are running against each other for the Republican Congressman seat.  If you hate polotics, this movie will be HILARIOUS.  This is the funniest Will Ferrell movie he's had in years.  Though I was expecting a bit more Ferrell, it had the apporpriate amount of Galifianakis, and they play off each other perfectly. It also has a great supporting class including Brian Cox, Jason Sudeikis, John Lithgow and a hilariously terrifying Dylan McDermott.  It's funny and exactly what I'd expect politics to be like. One of the best comedies this year, go check it out, $$$$

The Bourne Legacy

For a Hawkeye prequel, I 'm surprised there wasn't a Black Widow cameo somewhere.  This takes place at the same time as The Bourne Ultimatum, in which the government is closing down all it's super soldier programs thanks to that pesky Bourne guy, and Aaron Cross(Jeremy Renner) with his doctor(Rachel Weisz) needs to find more super soldier pills and escape with his life.  This was pretty meh overall.  It has a slow start, which wouldn't be bad if it focused on Aaron's story, but it's mostly an hour of bad guys doing boring bureaucratic bad guy stuff. There's a few action scenes, but not as many as I would have liked, and the action isn't as amazing, inventive or groundbreaking as the previous three films. Also, no cameo from Bourne, which I didn't need, but would have liked.  It doesn't really have a satisfying conclusion either.  Aaron Cross doesn't even bother with going after the bad guys!  

It's like Moby's Extreme Ways that they have at the end of every one of these films.  There's a new remix version at the end of Legacy. It's different, and it's still cool, but it's not as good as the original, and you're probably just better off listening to that.  The best part of this is Renner and Weisz.  I've always been fans of theirs, and they both pull their own weight. Renner is a badass, and Reisz is a believable doctor freaking out.  It's an ok action flick, but not great, especially not compared to the previous Bourne films. If there's nothing else actiony out there, it's not bad, but you may want to wait on this one. $$$

DeadHeads

This was a random move I watched on TV, and it's kind of interesting.  It's about two zombies who are still sentient even after dying, even though none of the other zombies are.  It's an intriguing gimmick, but then it turns into a zombie romantic comedy as one of the undead guys wants to travel cross country to tell his girlfriend that he loves her. There's some enjoyable zombie humor to be had, and even some genuinely touching moments that may bring undead tears to your eyes, but it ends up being too sappy for its own good.  I can understand the main guy's motivation, but all these other people are helping him for true love in the zombie apocalypse? Really? That's your biggest concern?  And it ends with no real resolution to their relationship, or answers any of the questions to the why or how of being sentient zombies.  It's overly romantic, but it's still fun and interesting with some heartfelt moments. $$$

The Avengers

Get out your hammers and shields and Gamma radiation, and pulse lasers and arrows...and wrist blasters, because we're reviewing The Avengers!

Seriously. Agent Coulson is our secret weapon. Who are all these other guys with hammers and lasers and whatever.

Hoooleeee crap. So this movie actually happened. I think it's safe to say everyone has already seen it, reviewed it, or made plans to see it. And if for some reason you're on the fence waiting for my good review, well first of all thank you and I'm glad my voice is that important to you, and second of all GO SEE THE MOVIE. Hopefully I can talk about a few things that haven't been mentioned as of yet.

Thor

Get out your Hammers and winged helmets, we're taking the rainbow bridge to Thor!

I went with the more traditional version. Your welcome ladies.

Looks like I haven't done a post in a couple of weeks. Well first I haven't seen many movies, I've actually been catching up on TV like Adventure Time and Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Plus I've been busy with comics and a certain boardgame. But anyways, onto Thor!

Thor is a really fun movie that's great for all ages, even though it has a PG-13 rating. It has a bunch of cool fight scenes and the visuals are stunning and original.