Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Get out your steampunk corsets and machine gun crossbows, we're reviewing Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters!

"We heard from a rabbit you like children!"

Hansel(Jeremy Renner) and Gretel(Gemma Arterton) were abandoned by their parents in the forest as children and almost eaten by a witch, so obviously they have to devote their lives to killing every witch they find! But when a grand witch(Famke Janssen) comes along and starts kidnapping ALL OF THE CHILDREN, Hanel and Gretel must stop her! Then they discover some strange things about their past.

The Disappearance of Alice Creed

Get your ski masks on because we're going to review The Disappearance of Alice Creed!

This is a gripping thriller about a kidnapping. It's very minimalist and very intense. It's also one of those movies that's hard to write a review for because you don't want to ruin anything.

Two guys trick out an apartment room and kidnap Alice Creed(Gemma Arterton). And then as they handle her being released for the money, things get crazy.

That's all I can tell you about the story, the rest you'll have to go discover for yourself. It's very minimalist(there are only three actors in the entire movie) and very badass. The first 5 minutes are in complete silence and it's just the kidnappers preparing the room for the kidnapping. And then they kidnap her.

It's very straightforward in a way that isn't done at all these days. No flashbacks, no side stories, no lovable bit characters, they don't even have phone conversations with the parents or police. It's just the kidnappers and Alice.

It's very suspenseful and has so many twists and has so many twists and turns right up to the very end. You never now who's playing who and who's in league with who. Also, it's got action and tons of nudity on both sides, so there's that.

So yeah, go watch it. Had it a different style it'd be a noir. It has some great acting and some killer twists. Highly recommended for those who love suspenseful crime thrillers.