Sketched Comic: (not) Noir

Get out your bullwhips and ancient maps, we're reviewing Noir by Victor Gischler and Andrea Mutti!

The Sparrow is hired to steal a rare Moonstone from a Museum. But when a mysterious buyer comes along offering a higher price, she holds out and stiffs the original client. Now, with some help from The Shadow and Miss Fury, will she get a big payday or a bullet in the head?

Sketched Comic: Rat Queens

Get out your healing spells and prayers to your flying squids, we're reviewing Rat Queens Vol. 1, by Kurtis Wiebe and Roc Upchurch!

Hannah the rockabilly Elven mage, Violet the Hipster Dwarven fighter, Dee the Atheist human cleric, and Betty the Hippy Hobbit thief, are the 4 bad-ass members of the adventuring group known as the Rat Queens. They're defenders of the small town of Palisades, and willing to kill anything for the right amount of money. But when they're drunken bar fights get them into trouble, they'll be forced to take a quest that will stretch their abilities and tempers to the limits!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Get out your barrels and glowing swords, we're reviewing The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug!

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), Gandalf (Ian McKellen), and the dwarves are still on their quest to take back their home from the great dragon Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch). Can they get to the mountain and defeat the dragon? Probably not for another movie.

Sketched Game: Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus

Get out your wrenches and inter-dimensional devices, we're reviewing Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus!

Galactic heroes Ratchet and Clank are escorting a dangerous prisoner, Vendra Prog, to space prison, when her gigantic ape of a twin brother, Neftin, comes to bust her out. When she threatens to open a portal to another dimension called "The Netherverse", it's up to Ratchet and Clank once again to save the universe from destruction!

Sketched TV: Defiance

Get out your good make-up and bad cgi, we're reviewing Defiance!

I want her to have more to do. Make her the main character instead of Nolan!

In the near future, Earth has been taken over and changed by the Votan, a collection of different races of aliens from another star system. Nolan(Grant Bowler) and Irisa(Stephanie Leonidas) are two scavengers looking for fortune, when they're troubles take them to the small town of Defiance.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Get out your Elven blades and Dwarf axes, we're reviewing The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey!

Gollum is getting tired of your shit.

Bilbo Baggins(Martin Freeman) is a regular hobbit living in quaint little Baghends. When Gandalf the Grey(Ian McKellen) comes to recruit him on an adventure to accompany 12 dwarves to retake their homeland from the evil dragon Smaog, he's reluctant at first, but soon joins up. What dangers will they face in the first part of this three part adventure?

Cloud Atlas

Get out your multiple experiences that permeate both time and space that link all of us together causing us to realize that all of existence is happening simultaneously and infinitely...we're reviewing Cloud Atlas!

Cloud Atlas tells 6 stories simultaneously interconnected through time and space.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Get out your apples and magic birds, we're reviewing Snow White and the Huntsman!

When I first heard about Snow White and the Huntsmen, it sounded terrible. Then Mirror Mirror came out and it suddenly didn't sound so awful.  With more and more trailers of the unique effects, I was getting my hopes up that it would actually be good. Well, it turns out I got my hopes up a bit too much.

The Hunger Games

Hey folks, we got a special guest review by Noelle Loughran of The Hunger Games!

Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire!

WARNING! MAJOR SPOILERS! From what I can surmise from Noelle's review, enjoyed it overall, though the action scenes used too much shaky cam. I haven't seen it yet, but it sounds good! For the full spoiler-filled recap, especially for those who have already read the book, I'll leave it in Noelle's colorful hands!

Seriously you guys. Spoilers.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Get out your pipes and steampunks we're revewing Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Thrones! SHADOWS! It's a game of shadows we are reviewing.

Hey, we were all thinking it. This just needed to be done.

The second installment of the Roberty Downy Jr. Steampunk kung-fu Sherlock Holmes is about as much fun as the first one. If you enjoyed that you should fairly enjoy this.

Hugo

Get out your clockworks and gears. We're reviewing Hugo!

Hugo is directed by the amazing Martin Scorsese, has an all-star cast, and has some of the most beautiful visuals of any movie this year. But is it a well-oiled machine, or is it just a jumbled mess of shiny parts?

Conan the Barbarian

Take out your swords and...you know what, fuck it. Let's just get this piece of shit over with.

THE SWORD IS HIS PENIS. GET IT?!

This is a terrible movie. There I saved you 11$. Strictly reserved for Netflix/redbox/cable where you can make fun of it while playing a drinking game(the drinking game being of course drink every time this movie is goddamn awful). You don't even need to read the rest of this review. It's just going to be me bitching about how bad this movie is. Spoiler Alert, y'know, if you want to be surprised at how awful it is or something.