Lawless

Get out y'ur guns 'n moonshine, we're reviewin' Lawless! I promise I'll stop now.

Based on the true story, the Bondurant Boys(Shia LaBeouf, Tom Hardy and Jason Clarke) are hick bootleggers in Prohibition-era Virginia. When special deputy Charlie Rakes(Guy Pierce) comes to break up the bootlegging operations in Franklin County, the Bondurants are the only ones left fighting. Can they hold out as outlaws or will they fold like the rest?

Conan the Barbarian

Take out your swords and...you know what, fuck it. Let's just get this piece of shit over with.

THE SWORD IS HIS PENIS. GET IT?!

This is a terrible movie. There I saved you 11$. Strictly reserved for Netflix/redbox/cable where you can make fun of it while playing a drinking game(the drinking game being of course drink every time this movie is goddamn awful). You don't even need to read the rest of this review. It's just going to be me bitching about how bad this movie is. Spoiler Alert, y'know, if you want to be surprised at how awful it is or something.