TV SHOWS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD YOU MONSTERS: OH GOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING MARVEL

It's time for another installment of TV SHOWS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD YOU HEARTLESS MONSTERS. Today we have the THERE ARE CHILDREN WATCHING YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS edition, featuring all Marvel cartoons!

Sketched TV: Avengers Assemble

Get out your hammers and shields, we're reviewing the pilot for Avengers Assemble!

Somehow they made MODOK less MODOK in AA. Also he's bald
now? Because we don't have enough bald villains?

The Avengers have broken up, but when something happens to Captain America, Tony Stark brings them together to avenge him. Can they still work together?

My 10 favorite movies of 2012

2012 IS OVER! 2013 IS NOW!  But hey, let's bring in the new year by celebrating the great movies of 2012! Because hey, 2012 had some fantastic-ass movies.

First off I just want to honorably mention the honorable mentions: Chronicle was a fantastic new superhero film, Haywire was a tight little action film, Argo is a super tense yet funny thriller, Brave is still a great Pixar movie, The Secret World of Arrietty is a wonderful Ghibli film with an amazing sense of scale, and Casa De Mi Padre is just a damn funny oddball film. Check all those puppies out.  On to the winners!

Battleship

Get out your pegs and plastic ships, we're playing reviewing Battleship!

They are playing the deadliest game.

Battleship is the most Michael Bayiest movie yet, and I am shocked-SHOCKED I SAY-that he had nothing to do with it. If you saw Transformers and thought that would be a perfect movie if not for all the weird robot storylines, then this is the movie for you.

The Avengers

Get out your hammers and shields and Gamma radiation, and pulse lasers and arrows...and wrist blasters, because we're reviewing The Avengers!

Seriously. Agent Coulson is our secret weapon. Who are all these other guys with hammers and lasers and whatever.

Hoooleeee crap. So this movie actually happened. I think it's safe to say everyone has already seen it, reviewed it, or made plans to see it. And if for some reason you're on the fence waiting for my good review, well first of all thank you and I'm glad my voice is that important to you, and second of all GO SEE THE MOVIE. Hopefully I can talk about a few things that haven't been mentioned as of yet.

Sketched TV: Ultimate Spiderman

Get out your invisible webshooters and web shooting motorcycles(yup those are real) we're reviewing the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon!

This post will be a little different as I'll be talking about the boring and uninspired character designs. The Ultimate Spider-man from the comics is slender and acrobatic.  Even though he's strong, he should look smaller, because even with his powers, he's still the runt of the superheroes. Also, why does no one  show off his toes instead of going for that generic footy? 

These are my thoughts after the first three episodes they've shown thus far.  I'd like to say it's too early to tell, but so far It's a fairly ok Spider-Man cartoon but a pretty poor Ultimate Spiderman cartoon.

Sketched Discussion: 7 good uses of 3D

After watching Wrath of the Titans and The Avengers trailer, I got to thinking what makes good 3D and what are some techniques to best use it.  Whether you see 3D as the big new thing like color TV or a flash gimmick like 80's 3D, there's no denying there are some great ways to incorporate it effectively into the movie experience. Here are seven great uses of 3D(with mock storyboards from The Avengers trailer)!

Wrath of the Titans

Get out your medusa heads and krakens and...wait their not in this one? What do we have? Cyclopses and Chimeras? I guess that's ok...we're reviewing Wrath of the Titans!

Hey guys! I think this one actually has titans in it! Although it only has one titan, so really it should be called Wrath of the Titan I guess? Anyways, it's about as mediocre as the last one.