Insidious

Go grab some popcorn and-OH SHIT WHAT'S THAT IN THE WINDOW?! It's Insidious!

Wasn't planning on doing the sketch this way, but just thought it looked creepier.

This is a seriously scary and creepy film. I really don't know how this got a PG-13 rating as this is scarier than most horror films I know(and anyways, they say the F word in it, so what the fuck movie ratings system?).

Written and directed by the guys who did Saw and produced by the people behind Paranormal Activity(there are nods to each in here. Try to find the drawing of jigsaw!), Insidious is about a family who's just moved into a house experiencing some strange occurrences. First their son goes into a coma, then the wife(Rose Byrne), starts seeing strange and horrible things. The husband(Patrick Wilson) doesn't believe anything is going on, even when their alarm goes off and their door is blown wide open. They move, but they soon realize that it's not their house that's being haunted, but their comatose son.

This is a scary movie that delivers. You know those horror films in which 75% of the movie is doors slamming and ghostly hand prints and then at the end maybe, MAYBE you see something? Yeah, you see something alright. They get all that bush league door slamming business taken care of within the first half hour. After that, you get to actually see things. CREEPY DISTURBING THINGS. Not whole complete things mind you, not over the top cgi monsters, but just enough to let you see it, you know it's there, and then it's gone. They're the masters of not showing and just showing enough. It really gives the sense that there's always something horrible standing there right next to you.

The soundtrack was easily the creepiest part of the movie. The score starts off wild and crazy and never let's up. It's relentless in it's spine chilling terror. We're talking crazy violins all up in this bitch. Seriously, they must have worked those poor violinists to the bone. I just imagine 20 of them going at it, then the conductor stops them and says, "ok guys, that was pretty good, but I still feel I can sleep at night so really go crazy this time." It was the kind of soundtrack I'd really like to buy, but if I ever listened to it at home, I'd never sleep in my bed again.

The sound effects were as well perfect. They had one particular screeching scratching noise that gave you chills every time you heard it. You're never sure if it's the glass freezing over, or tiny creaking footsteps, or bones cracking or nails scraping against the wall, but whenever you heard it, you knew you were about to be scared right out of your pants.

The story was about ghosts and demons and possessions, but it refreshingly didn't have the same cliches that were established with poltergeist and the exorcist. No puke spitting children, no priests coming to the rescue(they actually do bring in a priest, then he leaves 5 seconds later), no overarching battle between good and evil(just horrible fucking evil). They use new techniques, including a cool gasmask scene, and even poke a little fun at ghost detecting services. You'll notice I included ghosts AND demons as they have both in here and explain both in a nice seamless way.

As I said before, this is a horror movie that delivers, and a delivers in a very old school way. They have barely any cgi and instead focus on the psychological and the creepy. Things just get worse and more creepy, and near the end they take you to a place that's talked about in films but rarely shown. A lot of people will have a problem with the ending and call it cheesy, but I thought it fit in a classical creepy way. The ending had a nice semi twist; nice for a horror movie and semi because it was foreshadowed heavily, but still it was the logical progression, so I can't complain.

Overall this is an excellent and very scary movie recommended to horror fans and people who don't want to sleep at night. This will have you keeping the lights on, the music loud, and not wanting to look into any windows or mirrors any time soon for fear of catching a glimpse of something disturbing. I hope this film is successful enough that it ushers in a new age of films going back to psychological terror, but not so successful that they feel the need to make a crappy sequel. Now go release your bowels while you still have dry pants!

The Source Code

Strap on your time belts and get ready to go back in time, we're reviewing The Source Code!

I tried something new with this one. Hated it. Started over. Still don't like it.

For anyone who's already wondering if it lives up to Director Duncan Jones debut film, Moon, it does, and so much more. I would say this surpasses it in every category(except for the creepy robot voiced by Kevin Spacey category).

A mad bomber has taken out a train and has plans of another larger target. The only way to stop him is by sending Captain Colter Stevens(Jake Gyllenhaal) back in time within the body of a person who was on the train using...the source code. What exactly is the source code and how Colter Stevens fits into this is the mystery.

This is an amazing and thought provoking movie on so many levels. I saw a trailer for this saying it was more twisting than Inception and I instantly went, "OH REALLLLY." But seeing it, I have to agree. Inception was very linear and explained everything to you instantly. This lets you slowly discover how everything works and what's going on, and then it still leaves you guessing.

I, like most fans of Moon, saw the trailers and was worried that it would be too overly romantic. I'm relived to tell you it doesn't really focus on it too much(ok, yes, it does seem as though they fall in love rather quick, but A) he repeatedly only has 8 minutes to live, and she thinks she's talking to someone she's known for months, possibly years). I'm guessing they overhyped the romance to bring in the mainstream crowd. It was a mere afterthought, as was the plot of trying to find the mad bomber, compared to the real story of Colter trying to figure out what exactly is the source code and how he can use it to save everyone. They actually find the bomber earlier than expected(I can't speak for others as to how predictable it was, but I called it at first glance).

All the cast did a stand up job. The characters seemed realistic and everyone had their own unique voice. Even the bit players, the passengers on the train, were interesting and funny. Jake Gyllenhaal of course was perfect as a remorse soldier trying to figure out what's going on.

Jeffery Wright did a great job of being the cold and detail oriented Dr. Rutledge, and there was a surprising cameo by Scott Bakula!

The music was light and suspenseful. It wasn't overly stated, but it did it's job when it was supposed to. The effects of going back and forth in time from within the source code were nice and there were a handful of beautiful shots of downtown Chicago. I know you're not going to see a movie for nice city shots, but I don't know what else to talk about in this movie without ruining too much.

The Source Code deals with time travel, dreams and reality, alternate realities, fate, and perhaps even the afterlife. A lot of people didn't like the ending siting it as being too hollywood, but I loved it because it opened up so many more questions. It even makes some nice nods to Quantum Leap and Groundhog Day. It's a great sci-fi thriller that will get your brain juices flowing and I can't recommend it enough. A must see! So go see it!

Suckerpunch

Put on your scantily clad outfits and splash on the eyeliner(you too ladies), we're reviewing Suckerpunch!

Seriously, all the areas where you wouldn't want fishnet, there are fishnet.

MEH.

That sums up my whole review. It's kinda good but what's the point. See it, don't see it, who cares.

Well ok, if you REALLY want a review...

Written and directed by Zack Snyder, who also directed 300 and Watchmen(So if you liked those movies you already know whether or not you're going to see this), this is a story about a young girl named Baby Doll(Emily Browning) unjustly put away in a girls insane asylum by her evil stepfather and her plan to escape said insane asylum with the help of four other girls stuck in the same position. The main doctor(Carla Gugino) teaches girls they can take control their life and oppressors by imagining their environment however they want it to be. Scantly clad adventures ensue.

Let me first comment that I am a guy watching this, so my view of watching hot girls in skimpy outfits kicking ass is understandably skewed. There's been alot of back and forth on every other review site about how Snyder is degrading women and/or uplifting them. Personally, I can't really say it's the most female degrading film(that would be Twilight), and I can't say it uplifts in the way Snyder intended it to be. it's just jumbled, somewhere in the middle. He's saying one thing but showing another. The message comes on way too heavy especially at the very end.

I'm not going to say the skimpy outfits and obscene amounts of make-up themselves are degrading to women because I now quite a few women who love to wear just as ridiculous outfits and tons of make-up. They do burlesque, they model, they party, don't tell me it doesn't happen. Where it does fall is context. There are a couple of scenes where it's supposed to feel like a real drama, like one in which they're all crying over each other, trying to convince each other to escape, and it's obviously suppose to be serious, but they're still in they're ridiculous burlesque costumes with glittery eyelashes. So when they're hugging my male brain instinctively goes, "Are they...are they gonna make out?" Wait, does that say more about how Snyder handled the context poorly or my male chauvinist brain?

I do have to say, they're not "exploiting" their characters but they're making action figures? Yeah, sure.

Moving on to the actual visuals, if you came to see hot girls in skimpy clothing fighting ridiculous crap, you'll be pleased to know there's hot girls in skimpy clothing fighting ridiculous crap. There's orcs and dragons. There's mechanized samurai with miniguns. There's futuristic robots. There's freaking steam powered nazi zombies for crap sakes! Honestly, I don't know why this wasn't a videogame.

The fighting sequences were pretty good. The problem I have with them is that they're Zack Snyder fighting sequences. Which means fiiiiiiiirrrrrrrssssssssssssttttttt eeeeeeeeevvvvveeeeeerrrrrrryyyyyytttthhhhiiiiiiiiinnnnngggg iiiiiiiissssssss ssssslloooooooooowwwwww andthenit'sfast aaaaaannnnnnnnd theeeeeennnn ittttttt sllllloooooowwws dooooooowwwwnnnnnnnn aaaagggaaaiiiinnn. So if you can't handle that, you will not be happy.

I think this is the movie that ruined it for me. In 300 it was new and stylish, Watchmen took it's sweet time but it was still ok, but this is just waaaay over the limit. The first sequence is especially tiring. Halfway through I was wondering when it was going to speed up. One could argue it's artistic, but if I want to look at a painting longer, you don't have to extend the canvas to infinity. Does he really need to focus on Every little miniscule detail of everything all the time and turn it into a 3 hour movie? I think in real time this movie would take half an hour.

The other problem with the fighting sequences(and overall story) is that I didn't really care about the characters until midway through when they started dying off. Sure, in Watchmen it was cool when Rorschach had awesome fight scenes because we love him as a character, but they never give us much to grab onto here, other than they're beautiful battered women.

And then there's the dialogue and soundtrack. I feel I need to include these together because I frankly thought there were more words in the songs than in the dialogue. I'm forever a minimalist and I'll be the first to say you should always show rather than tell, but he wasn't really saying anything with the imagery, other than, "hey look, girls shooting crap!" It's doubly annoying because I rarely like wordy songs played over the movie. It just feels cliche and takes away from it(though I do have to say I like the soundtrack and will probably buy it). A friend of mine said that it was like one big music video and I can't help but agree. Incidentally, why the hell isn't Zack Snyder making insane ass music videos?

The Cgi does all look nice, and by gum there's alot if it. There are some even some nice acting spots in Carla Gugino, Oscar Issac, John Hamm and Scott Glenn. I do have to give credits to the credits though, they're very stylish of the girls doing burlesque dancing, but it never once goes to the black scroll. Have you ever seen graphical credits that go all the way to the end?

So all in all, MEH. I did enjoy parts of it, wouldn't call it terrible, but wouldn't call it a masterpiece either. It's got some great sequences and all the cgi looks nice and it even has some nice acting here and there. If you like seeing scantily clad women kick ass you can't go wrong. Otherwise, I'm sure there's another movie worth your time and money.

The Road: Sketched Commentary

The Road is one of those movies that is hard to do a review for. It's old enough that anyone who was thinking about seeing it has already seen it, but not old enough to review as a forgotten gem that people don't remember, and not indy enough that someone might have missed it coming out. So I've decided to do more of a discussion about it instead.

For anyone who still hasn't seen it and is wondering if he should, it's a pretty depressing post apocalyptic movie. It's good depressing, very suspenseful, and Viggo is great in it, so if you like end of the world movies, it's worth a viewing. You should probably leave now and go watch it as spoilers are ahead.

So for everyone else, wow, what a depressing movie huh? A mother left her son, there were cannibals, guys stealing clothes, dying forests, oh and cannibals. It's got a depressing beginning, a depressing middle, and a hopeful end. A lot of critics were faulting the story for having such a hopeful ending; not that anyone changed it from the book, it just gave a different mood from the rest of the movie, as though it didn't fit.

They've been running from cannibals, everyone is trying to kill them, the father is constantly trying to teach the kid not to trust anyone, then when Viggo finally dies at the end, along comes a nice family with kids and a dog to take care of his kid? What? How can that fit?

But I have a different theory. I think that the ending changes the context of the entire movie. Throughout the movie, the audience has been seeing the world through Viggo's eyes. It's a dark unforgiving place with people constantly trying to kill them. His wife left him and his kid, everyone is following them, everyone wants their food and supplies, and danger lurks around every corner.

But is that really how it was? Perhaps the father wasn't "the good guy" after all. Maybe if he had looked at the world as the child did, they wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble. Maybe no one was "following" them, maybe the group at the beginning wasn't a group of cannibals, maybe it was just a dog with a nice family outside the hatch, maybe the people who shot him in the leg with an arrow were just as scared as him and only wanted to defend their territory. The world is relative, and it's all how you view it.

The house with the hunters and the girls locked up in the basement was completely fucked up though.

The Adjustment Bureau

Put on your fancy hat look out for the G-men, we're reviewing The Adjustment Bureau!

Hmmm, I like the idea and the sketch, not sure about the shading though.

Going into this, I didn't have high hopes. I'm getting pretty tired of the whole concept of "fate" and the plot of a character fighting against his fate only to prove it coming true. But honestly, I really dug The Adjustment Bureau. They had some interesting takes on the idea, the mood was fun and lighthearted, the dialogue was funny, and it had some nice door jumping sequences.

David Norris(Matt Damon) is an up and coming politician who's just lost an election. But meeting a crazy young woman, Elise(Emily Blunt) gives him the energy to give a great losing speech(It actually is a great speech, were he a real politician I would vote for him) and get back on the political wagon. He meets her again on the bus and begins to fall for her, when a group of men in suits (lead by John Slattery from Madmen) whisk him away to a secret room and explain he was only supposed to meet her once. They're falling in love isn't "part of the plan" you see. But David has feelings for her and some secret organization isn't about to stop him from seeing her! Over the course of the rest of the movie, David tries to get back with Elise while the men in suits try to stop him.

If you're tired of movies with fate like I am, I'll let you know you don't have to worry too much. They do find some interesting ways around it, which I'll discuss below, and it all seems pretty believable. For one thing, they don't fall into the same love story cliches of other rom coms. The "He's a straight arrow and she's a free spirit" trope? He has a wild side, he's actually known for partying too hard back in his frat days. The "oh they just met, but they fall madly in love" trope? The movie actually takes place over the course of 3-4 years, which I was delightfully surprised at, giving their romance time to blossom, and giving him some time to actually listen to the Bureau a couple of times. Why is he so fixated on her and why can't he just pick another girl? They explain that, which I'll discuss below, but if you don't want to be spoiled I'd suggest you just go check it out for yourself.

The writing and dialogue is a ton of fun to watch. Damon and Blunt have some great conversations together that actually feel like real chemistry, and hearing Slattery offhandedly talk about keeping the world together as if it was some boring desk job is entertaining and comical.

As you've no doubt seen in the previews, they can travel crazy distances through any door. They have a few fun sequences and it's done well, but mostly it's reminiscent of "Tom Cruise running" where I'd like to see "Jason Bourne beating the crap out of people", or even some Inception style acrobatics. And if you're wondering, no it's nothing compared to the door chase in Monsters Inc.

The style is cool, the dialogue is funny, pacing is nice, and it's got some great action sequences. It's not the best or most original movie, but it's a fun movie worth seeing nonetheless and I could easily watch it two more times. Recommended for a fun jaunt out.

So yes, you should go see it. And if you don't want to be spoiled, you can stop reading now. For everyone who's already seen it, or who isn't going to see it and doesn't care about it getting ruined, I'm going to discuss the idea of fate it has.

SPOILER WARNING: Discussing Fate

So basically, David's fighting against the plan because it's all part of the plan. Wha? Let me explain.

See, they all talk about, "The Plan" written by "The Chairman", but it's not one set plan, it's an ever changing plan. That's why they have the adjustment Bureau, to do little changes to make sure everything stays within the plan. So why is he so transfixed on this one girl? Because in an earlier plan(or several), they were supposed to be together. They were basically made for each other. But then the plan changed, so even though it's a new plan, they still feel like they're part of the old plan. Interesting, right? It sort of goes back to that notion that we're predisposed to like people because of something in our genes or childhood.

And being that it has a longer timeline, David actually listens to the guys upstairs and lets her go the first time they interact with him. Then when they get back together(after 3 years) and he leaves again because he doesn't want to mess up her future. The only reason he keeps coming back is because he feels it's right to be with her from some messed u part of a former plan. I find this more realistic than just meeting her, instantly falling in love with her, and then fighting at every turn for her.

Of course the one problem I have is that no one really tells him this is why he likes her, so he doesn't have any time to rebel against his own feelings that were possibly instigated by the Bureau itself at an earlier date, which I would have liked. It would have changed the movie into an existential crisis that questioned why you do the things you do and if you really have free will. But by itself, it still has some interesting ideas and is worth a viewing.

Paul

Prepare your anal probe and get all your geek references ready to go on a trip with Paul!

This time I tried coloring IN the lines.

Paul is very fun, and very funny. It's cute, but with a lot of swearing.

The movie starts out with Graeme(Simon Pegg) and Clive(Nick Frost) visiting from England to go to the San Diego ComicCon. They have a ton of fun, then decide to roadtrip across America to see all the Alien and UFO spots. It's not long before they have a close encounter(sorry) with Paul(voiced by Seth Rogen), a grey alien trying to get home, and decide to help him on his journey. They get into antics, and meet a staunch Christian girl(Kristen Wiig), while running from a federal agent(Jason Bateman) trying to bring Paul back in.

If you haven't already noticed, the cast completely targeted to the 20's-30's geek/nerd demographic. They finally have Simon Pegg and Nick Frost together again, Jason Bateman and Jefferey Tambor from Arrested Development, Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader from SNL, Seth Rogen from every other movie, and even Sci-fi heavyweights like Steven Spielberg and Sigourney Weaver.

And if that doesn't tell you what kind of movie this is, the hundreds of references and inside jokes from other sci-fi films(or any adventure film from your childhood including a killer Jaws reference) will. This would actually make a great drinking game. Seriously, this movie was custom made for sci-fi nerds who grew up in the eighties. And it all works pretty well. The cast are all amazing and incredibly funny, and all the references are clever in a silly way.

Paul is a roadtrip story that reminds me of Bubble Boy more than anything else. It has a round protagonist trying to get from point A to point B, meeting a number of crazy characters along the way who all want to get a hold of him and somehow wind up at the huge finale. The story is fairly straight forward, but it was a fun ride with some nice little twists in the road.

Paul's cgi works pretty well and his animations are all pretty believable. Yes, it's Seth Rogen being Seth Rogen, and if you don't like Seth Rogen this probably won't change your mind, but he fits in an ironic sort of way in that you wouldn't expect an alien that looks like that to have a voice like this.

Overall it's a jolly science fiction romp that panders the hell out of itself to fans alike. I wouldn't say it's as genre bending as Pegg and Frost's other movies Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuss, and I wouldn't call it the new Ghostbusters, but it's a fun sci-fi movie that's good for at least 2 or 3 showings. Recommended for sci-fi nerds and lovers of an R rated comedy.

Rango!

Saddle yer turkeys and hang yer opossums 'cause we're reviewin' Rango!

How are people liking the sketchy coloring?

Fair warning: I am completely biased because I LOVE Chameleons. Easily my favorite animal and I think they can never appear in too many movies.

Rango was a ton of fun and very funny. It's a must see for any animation aficionados with some wonderful character acting and amazing sequences. I don't think I would say it was a perfect movie or my favorite, but it was a damn good story with great characters.

The movie starts out as our nameless hero is putting on a show for himself with himself as the lead (with heart wrenching supporting roles from a wind up fish and a decapitated barbie doll). Just as he suddenly has an epiphany that he needs conflict in his life, he gets thrown out of his cage, out of the car his family was traveling in and onto the dusty road. He meets an armadillo that acts as a kind of spiritual guide to send him on his journey to Dirt, and it's at this new western town that he meets a whole cavalcade of characters and starts to re-imagine himself as the badass hero he wants to be known only as...Rango. He gets into trouble with outlaws, becomes the new lawman in town, and lucks his way into a whole slew of western adventures in an effort to find the town's water.

See, they don't use money here, they use water. It's this and so many other little touches that show they really created an intricate, living breathing world. All the characters are unique; they have interesting clothing, different accents, and lovable quirks! If you're into animation at all, this is one you NEED to see, it's just that beautiful in a ridiculously detailed kind of way. All the other reviews emphasize how "ugly" everything is, but being a character designer, and being someone who loves creepy animal designs(see brother rabbit) I couldn't get enough of the characters! For me they were the perfect animal-human hybrids and the designs were a real throwback to crazy stylistic 2d animation.

Johnny Depp does a stellar job as the blank slate protagonist. He's silly, dramatic, and just plain fun. All the other actors have unique voices and they easily get lost in their characters. The humor is quirky and silly with enough double entendres stuffed in there to be enjoyable by adults as well as kids.

The story is fairly predicable; "oh, [that character] can't be bad...oh no [that character] is actually bad! Who would have seen that coming," but it is an entertaining ride throughout. There are some fantastic sequences including shootouts, cavern diving, and an amazing chase with hillbillies on bats with a hillbillized version of The Ride of the Valkyries. And it had a weird but great cameo from a well known western character!For some reason I thought it got a little too ridiculous when plants started to move, completely glossing over the fact that animals can not only walk and talk but also have tiny clothes and guns.

I do have to say one of the things I didn't like and something I look forward to in movies was the end credits. It was somewhere between full rendering and stylized cartoon with choppy animation. It felt like it was trying to have classy 2D animation showing the process or early designs like a Pixar or disney movie, but they were too lazy to hire 2D animators and just did a crappy stop-motion using the actual models. Not that this is going to stop anyone from seeing it or take away from the overall score, it's just a personal disappointment in a movie like this.

All in all Rango is a great animated movie for kids and adults alike. A must-see for prospective animators, and a should-see for everyone else. Also, Chameleons.